Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.

Stupid Human Tricks

Page: 1(2)3

Triplets

21:30 / 24.04.07

Photographic dream memory. I can remember, essentially, every dream I've had that I remember on waking.

Triplets

21:36 / 24.04.07

But, apparently, can't remember that I've already told anyone this.

My kryptonite!

Whisky Priestess

21:39 / 24.04.07

I have seen your work! I always wondered how people did that!

Whisky Priestess

21:42 / 24.04.07

The last to Olulabelle.

Oh, and I can do accents - most common ones (Geordie, Cockney, New York) off the top of my head, other more obscure ones (Utah, Western Ireland) after a bit of listening to them. Much more useful if I were still acting at all.

Tsuga

23:02 / 24.04.07

I can recognize voices like nobody's business. I wish it was a business, actually- then I could make money for something useless (the best money). Over the phone, voice-overs by actors, or I can be in the next room and hear Meridith Birney or Scott Bakula or Elliot Gould or whoever on television and say, "that's so-and-so" and be right nearly always.
Yeah. I'm impressed, too.

Dutch

06:56 / 25.04.07

I've been told it's strange to be able to do this while sitting on a bar-stool, even when drunk. Also, not a lot of guys I know can go from this position to having their legs lying on top of one another and having the shins and feet pointing backwards.

I can take almost any word or sentence given to me and instantly translate it into backwardonese. This started when I was young and walking alone through cities and reading every sign and message backwards out of boredom. A favourite of mine was a shop called "suna".

I can drink and squirt water out of my left nostril at will. I can also wiggle my ears and kiss all of my toes.

I'm still working on learning how to fly and punch through concrete walls though.

Janean Patience

07:39 / 25.04.07

I'm not a mutant. In fact, like most right-thinking members of the Marvel universe, I despise mutants. I'm one of those who've developed a superpower by circumstance which I think we all agree is okay.

I'm tall. When you're tall you bump your head a lot. Lately, the last year or so, it's started not to hurt... No matter how hard I hit it, there's no pain. Which suggests that either I've developed a thick layer of superhard bone on the crown, or I've killed all the bits of brain around there. Which is something I should care more about. Perhaps I've coincidentally killed the parts of my cerebellum that give a fuck about my mental health.

Either way, this makes me the Juggernaut. As soon as I can get my neck vertebrae strengthened.

Alex's Grandma

07:41 / 25.04.07

I'm still working on learning how to fly and punch through concrete walls though.

PM, and I'll explain. Basically, it's easier than you think. And also more complicated.

petunia

11:06 / 25.04.07

I can do a fat-tongue.

It basically involves me sticking my tongue out, then swelling it up so it takes up most of my mouth.

If i want to take it 'the extra step', i can then make it 'crawl' down my throat like some giant pink slug.

It's beautiful.

Evil Scientist

11:18 / 25.04.07

It's beautiful.

It's a YouTube video waiting to happen is what it is.

I read fast. Fast like The Flash.

Secondary powers include ear wiggling, the ability to wake up about five minutes before I need to, and an uncanny sense when it comes to industrial centrifuges.

Am I not Nietzsche's superman made flesh?

Spaniel

11:29 / 25.04.07

Tramp, my brother (marryapige) can do the fat tongue thing, he sort of inflates it into yer not-so-common or garden sausage shape (this I can also do) then does something weird to do with resting the tip on his bottom front teeth and pushing the tongue forward. It really is quite something to see. Like a mouth full of wet muscle.

Anything like your technique.

As for me, I can

- Spin pillows, plates, books, magazines, stuff on most of my fingers. I can even throw them from hand to hand.

- Be heard from a long way away. I have the kind of voice that travels - it's not that it's loud, or hugely deep, it just resonates on the right levels or something.

- Do this weird twiddley thing with my fingers that is very hard to explain but the chances are you couldn't do it

- Be sick after drinking too much

- Split my very own zygote in two

Spaniel

11:31 / 25.04.07

the ability to wake up about five minutes before I need to

I'm very good at that too, but it means that unexpected alarms tend to fuck me up for the rest of the day.

Shrug

11:49 / 25.04.07

On the bodily quirks thing: I can disjoint my right thumb! (which is, alas, it, apart from the tongue role thing).

petunia

13:49 / 25.04.07

then does something weird to do with resting the tip on his bottom front teeth and pushing the tongue forward.

See, this is the faux-tongue that people inevitably try to do when i show them the fat-tongue. While a commendable skill, it isn't quite the true thing, where the tongue creates shape by just... inflating or something.

When people ask how i do it, i can never say, other than 'i just do'. But as my Love just pointed out (she's wondering why i'm swelling my tongue up at the computer screen), have a pretty massive tongue. If i stick it out flat, it looks like one of those snakes that has a tongue that looks like meat to attract prey.

This is a not-too-good photo of it (you'll have to excuse the ming - i've got a cold at the mo):

For an idea of scale - i just had a quick measure and it's about 2 inches high at its widest.

I quite like the idea of a youtube exposé...

Spaniel

14:08 / 25.04.07

That looks a lot like my brother's actually.

petunia

14:22 / 25.04.07

Oooh!

We could form a troupe!

Spaniel

14:26 / 25.04.07

That would be delicious

electric monk

15:16 / 25.04.07

I'm a wonderful mimic. My "Jimmy Stewart at the end of 'It's a Wonderful Life'" is second to none. I do a mean Marvin the Martian, a dead-on Droopy, a killer Kermit the Frog, an incredible Pete the Puma, a startlingly accurate imitation of that one cop in 'Silence of the Lambs' ("That's Jim Pembry, now TALK TO HIM, DAMMIT!"), and many others.

What's wierd about this talent is the way it manifests. When I hear a voice I want to imitate, I just concentrate on it and my internal voice gear kinda...shifts around so that I can make the sound. I mean, I guess it's certain muscles contracting or expanding in reaction to some mental cue I'm giving them, but it's not a conscious willing to expand this bit and contract that one. Instinct maybe. It just...happens for whatever reason, and the sounds I can make because of it only take a bit of refinement to be on target.

So. I might be a mutant. But I'm an entertaining mutant. Like Dazzler!

All Acting Regiment

15:20 / 25.04.07

I can take a kebab, chips, and garlic bread all in one go. No, I can *take* it.

Whisky Priestess

15:54 / 25.04.07

I can do a fat-tongue.

No dude, what you can do, clearly, is give birth to a baby Alien through your mouth.

By which I mean EW! and Congratulations! Is it a boy or a girl, or something in between?

Feverfew

16:27 / 25.04.07

I can click the palms of my hands in lieu of my fingers, but I suspect that's not the most impressive talent ever known in the history of humankind.

This Sunday

16:36 / 25.04.07

So. I might be a mutant. But I'm an entertaining mutant.

You're Kylun from the Alan Davis Excalibur Experience.

No, seriously, that's what he does. That and swing fancy magick swords around.

Me? I can climb up in a goodsized tree and go to sleep for hours without falling to the ground and crippling myself. Pretty sure somewhere back in the lineage this was a great survival tactic. Or supported genetic laziness by being able to nap out of general sight.

This Sunday

16:38 / 25.04.07

And, Feverfew? I can click the palms of my hands may be, if I'm visualizing this right and you aren't just y'know clapping, in fact, the most impressive accomplishment I've heard of in ages. And if it is just clapping, you get extra points for making me think it was really really interesting.

Hallo, Paper Spaceboy

16:39 / 25.04.07

I have some obscure mental control over traffic lights and automatic doors.

I can make farting sounds with a very large array of body parts.

petunia

16:42 / 25.04.07

I can click the palms of my hands in lieu of my fingers

The sound of one hand clapping?!

Cos i can do that too!

Feverfew

16:45 / 25.04.07

And if it is just clapping, you get extra points for making me think it was really really interesting.

No no, not clapping. It's the same sound as clicking the fingers, but made by snapping the middle three fingers against the skin underneath the thumb.

Which is nice.

I can wiggle my ears while I'm doing it too, but that's just passé.

electric monk

16:58 / 25.04.07

You're Kylun from the Alan Davis Excalibur Experience.

No, seriously, that's what he does. That and swing fancy magick swords around.*

You just made my day, dude!

*emphasis mine

Lama glama

18:59 / 25.04.07

I can name all of the counties in Ireland in about 7 seconds. Any faster than that and the atoms around me begin to vibrate and I shift into another dimension.

Which is another talent, I suppose.

Oh, I can also do a lot of fun and interesting things with my toes. I can type fairly competently with them. I also went through a phase where instead of bending over to pick stuff up, I'd just do it with my feet. It took more time and housemates would look at me oddly, but bending over is for chumps!

Shiny: Well Over Thirty

19:08 / 25.04.07

I have two mutations

My original power is quite crap and is that my fingers bend back a freakish amount without breaking or even hurting. This can sometimes induce feelings of nausea in the baslines.

My secondary mutation is far more impressive. I can teleport whilst stinking blacked out drunk. It's not terribly unusual for me to get very drunk, have a period I can't remember and then come to ten minutes later a seemingly impossible distance from where I started. Once I was so wasted I couldn't even walk, let alone sneak or move quickly, and my friends took me to the toilet in the nighclub we were in and posted a sober mate on the cubicle door to look after me when I'd finished. They waited and waited and waited, and I never emerged. In the end they gave up and found me leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the club, still to smashed to move much. If only I could remember the trick of it whilst sober I could rule the world!

Saint Keggers

19:12 / 25.04.07

and I can sleep standing up.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

20:09 / 25.04.07

I can smile in the face of horrible verbal abuse from just about anyone. Also I'm a ninja when I poop; my bowel movements make no sound and leave no scent.

Bear

22:23 / 25.04.07

Triplets are you ruling the world of Lucid dreaming yet cause if not you really should be!

whistler

06:58 / 26.04.07

More an attribute than a trick, this, but I have no tummy-button.

Shrug

09:44 / 26.04.07

As without a navel, at all??? Explain.

Also, that tongue thing has to marketable.

Spaniel

10:57 / 26.04.07

No tum fluff then, eh?

A member of a new cleaner species perhaps

Page: 1(2)3

Add Your Reply