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Signs Of Aging...

 
  

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Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey
07:01 / 22.07.04
Your link is broken, Jub, but I sincerely hope I do have gout!

Not only does it evoke old age, but also smacks thoroughly of hedonism. Surely one of the more desirable ailments on the market.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
08:16 / 22.07.04
Total inability of digestive system to cope with quantities of alcohol, resulting in feeling grim & bloaty for a week after every lengthy pub session (yes, I know there is an obvious solution to this, but unfortunately my social habits are so well formed that any reform of them is going to take a wee while...)
 
 
No star here laces
09:19 / 22.07.04
Can I reckommend moving to a part of the world/area of town where one is surrounded by persons of another race? Everybody thinks people with a different skin colour from themselves looks younger, so people in Singapore keep guessing my age at at least 3 years less than it is!

Woot!

Wait, hang on. Asking people your age and then getting satisfaction out of their answer (which is probably pitched low for politeness' sake) is a sure sign of ageing, isn't it?
 
 
Jub
10:57 / 22.07.04
yep!
 
 
Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey
02:13 / 23.07.04
On a lighter note:

My wife, an ultrasonographer, managed to press-gang me into allowing her to scan me recently, the chief scan target being my liver due to her concern over my alcohol intake. The kidneys, pancreas, bollocks, et al were also included in the scan. I was shitting myself. Ignorance is bliss and everything.

Lo and behold, everything showed up entirely healthy, as far as the scan could deduce (no fatty deposits in liver - very good sign).

So I went out for a pint to celebrate.

Must admit, it felt quite invasive, having my spouse scrutinize my internal organs, but I loved the gel on my bollocks...
 
 
ephemerat
01:07 / 25.07.04
A cute girl down the pub was idly considering me as a potential partner for her mum. Her mum.

My life is over.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
01:12 / 25.07.04
Well yes, but presumably, so's hers.
 
 
Saint Keggers
01:18 / 25.07.04
That was so mean.

I loved it.

Tearing the house apart for 20 minutes trying to find my glasses only to realize I was wearing them. Not just on my head like you do with sunglasses but full on looking through the glass wearing them at the time.

Now if you'll excuse me all that typing has made me tired. I think i'll go have a nap.
 
 
ephemerat
01:20 / 25.07.04
Well, obviously not (melodrama anyone?). As it is her mum's only 38 and I would ordinarily have no problem with her age or her status as a parent. It's just the first time that I've been talking to someone who I'm vaguely attracted to who has recommended their parent as a potential partner instead. It's a fairly big step in my self-identity.
 
 
ephemerat
01:21 / 25.07.04
My response was to IJGU, Dave obviously.
 
 
Lord Morgue
03:45 / 25.07.04
For me? Watching the DVD of Spy Kids 3-D, and upon seeing a pubescent Alexa Vega undulating and writhing on stage like some sort of... SEX EEL, all I could think was "You're not going out dressed like that!".

(sob)

I am undeniably in decline.
I grow old, I grow old, I shall wear my foreskin rolled...



All that's good, all that's right;
Everything hot, all that's tight;
Women, men, pubescent girls,
Never again to finger their curls
On their heads so exquisite -
Never again to visit
The palace, the palace of love.

Chorus
Forty years of livin' - then death,
That's all that's left;
Forty years - then death.
Forty years - all that's left.

The work, it is just beginnin'
As my hair, it begins thinnin';
Pleasure is past, the end
Of all that's dear, as friend
And foe alike disappear -
Never again to visit
The palace, the palace of love.

Perfume! The smell of perfume
Is forgotten, and the shape of the room
And the sheets on her bed
Disappear forever from my head.
No more the sudden thrill
As I dip into the swill -
Never again to visit
The palace, the palace of love.
 
 
Linus Dunce
15:23 / 25.07.04
Sitting down with my copy of Private Eye on the rush-hour tube the other day, I found myself thinking, "Why doesn't that woman standing up in front of me keep still? Can't she see I am trying to read the magazine she is jiggling?" Then I realised that I was holding the damn thing completely at arms' length, heels of palms resting on my knees, and that it was me invading her space with out-of-focus reading matter rather than any anti-social act on her part.
 
 
Alex's Grandma
17:14 / 25.07.04
Um, sorry Cass. I meant the " cute girl's " life, not her mother's.
 
 
Disco is My Class War
20:16 / 25.07.04
I've spent the last six of out of seven nights at home, probably watching TV for some of the time, and haven't gotten trashed once. This is no longer an unusual occurence. I realise, also, that getting trashed is no longer as much fun as it used to be. Often, I'd rather stay home and read than make myself go out and pretend, no matter how much I was really enjoying myself, that I was having a great time. Hangovers are suddenly nauseating and excruciatingly painful rather than annoying.

Physically, though, I'm being read as younger and younger, despite the appearance of a few wrinkly lines. This is amusing. Anyhow, my partner is 39. Anytime I start whinging about how old I feel she gives me a short, sharp reminder of how young I really am. Particularly when she starts asking me whether she should keep dying her hair black or grow it out grey. Until I have grey hair of my own, I really won't know how to answer that question. Maybe not even then...
 
 
Alex's Grandma
20:59 / 25.07.04
Mister Disco, have thought about changing to Mister Slippers ?
 
 
William Sack
21:30 / 25.07.04
Jesus, where do I start? I have been out once in 6 months and last got trashed in 1996. I covet other people's estate cars.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
23:00 / 25.07.04
University students look like tiny children. Dammit, they *are* tiny children.

Listening, on the way home, to three boys(tiny, wee boys) talk about how weird it was having finished their 1st year at uni.

Not one of them looked over 14. I swear.
 
 
Disco is My Class War
05:24 / 26.07.04
And on the tiny children front -- I'm at uni and they do look like tiny children, it's awful. On Wednesday 20 of these tiny children will be sitting in front of me expecting me to teach them something. This surely means I am old. And they are young. And life is frightening.

And no, I hadn't considered changing my fiction suit to Mr Slippers. I can disco without moving a damn muscle.
 
 
Lord Morgue
07:37 / 26.07.04
Oh, stick a fork in my butt and turn me over, I'm done...

Who are you people?
Why are you in my house?!

And why are you feeding me dog food?
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
14:48 / 26.07.04
Disco: heh. that one *is* weird isn't it. I did that one at about 23. Wherein I felt about 3 weeks older than my students, whereas they looked at me as if I were Methuselah.

Just remember: they're more scared of you than you of them.
 
 
lekvar
02:35 / 29.07.04
Bengali, Disco, I had the pleasure of experiencing the inverse of your "tiny little students" moment...
Finishing up my last semester of College (for now) I saw a lil' cutie come into the room... I thought "ah, she's probably jailbait."

Then she started outlining the class' curriculum.
 
 
Ex
07:29 / 29.07.04
I had a student charge into my seminar late and gasp to me, "Is the tutor here yet?" Her embarassment was an elixir of youth to me.
Looking young is bad for authority, discipline and all that jazz, but I recommend a combo of SPF 451 and keeping a cursed portrait in the attic.
 
 
Benny the Ball
14:31 / 29.07.04
I went fairly grey at 14 and aged rapidly due to lack of sleep, I've been playing catch up since then.
 
 
HCE
23:36 / 03.08.04
I can't believe you guys even consider yourselves old, for one thing. I'm 32 and think I'm just beginning to live real life. I think of my 20s as a time of depression, poverty, insecurity about everything, mass confusion, and a body that wanted to crawl into itself every time somebody looked at it. Or didn't look at it.

Now in my 30s I have an apartment I love crammed full of fantastic records, I can drink when I want and I know when to stop so I don't get sick, sex is fun and playful instead of bewildering, my best friends have been my best friends for 20 years instead of four months, and I don't have to ask anybody for money or permission.

I see young people and they look like uncooked dough to me. Everything still so vague and bland and unformed. I think my grey hair looks dashing and my cheekbones have made their way out from under the baby fat.

Feeling old, looking old, and thrilled about it.
 
 
HCE
23:37 / 03.08.04
I spit on the grave of my useless 20s.
 
 
Goodness Gracious Meme
00:38 / 04.08.04
hurrah for you, fred.

Based on older sister and various friends, and on the definite *fact* that my life is pretty much as good as it's ever been in the most important(to me) areas, although I wil be angsty/'why haven't I achieved' when it comes round next year, I'm also hugely looking forward to saying goodbye to my 20s....
 
 
w1rebaby
01:02 / 04.08.04
There is a sense in which it will be good to finally give up on all hope of achieving something in one's 20s, and start again with a clean slate decade.

To be honest though I would much rather have done something interesting in my 20s.

Ah well, it's all experience, isn't it? Percolating inside? I'm sure it will all burst out in a massive fiction bomb the day I move back/change jobs/finally sort my shit out.

Yes. Yes, I know.
 
  

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