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Signs Of Aging...

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Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey

23:00 / 19.07.04

Recently, when rooting around my nasal orifice for congealed mucus, I have been utterly devastated to find thick, The-Fly-like hairs protruding from said nostrils.

The plucking thereof has induced tears, chiefly beacause; i) It fucking hurts; ii) It's indefatigable proof that I'm starting to 'get on a bit'.

Anyone else noticed those irrefutible signs that time is starting to take its toll on you?

Piles, anyone?

P.S.

I'm 33, which I'm sure is positively ancient to a large proportion of the 'lith. Allow me to be your barometer of physical degeneration, if you will.

Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey

23:01 / 19.07.04

Sorry - totally neglected the abstract.

There's alzheimer's for you.....

Jub

07:48 / 20.07.04

Yeah piles - bummer. More due to overconsumtion of booze and not enough greens mind you.

I started "oofing" when I stand up or sit down.

Hangovers and comedowns are getting longer and longer.

Grey Area

08:03 / 20.07.04

Nose hairs...although for now it seems to be limited to one hair in my left nostril that's taking an inkling to see the world, get out there and party. That's the only way I can explain why only one hair is growing so much faster than the rest.

Four

08:15 / 20.07.04

I'm 22 and think i might be receeding, but how do you tell? Is there a way of measuring an ever decreasing hairline? what do you rekon is the best plan for baldness, wig? shave it? Combover?

Bear

08:15 / 20.07.04

I've had nose hair for years, not insane noes hair but enough for me to notice.

I want to know how old I have to be before I can make that orgasmic sound when I take a piss...

08:21 / 20.07.04

I'm 22 and think i might be receeding, but how do you tell? Is there a way of measuring an ever decreasing hairline?

Have a dotted line tattooed just behind your current hairline.

When your forehead starts to look like an OS map with a tiny footpath wiggling across the top, you'll know your hair is receding.

Jub

08:24 / 20.07.04

Orgasmic sound, Bear? Maybe you frequent a classier latrine than me. The old men who use the bog in the pubs I go in tend to grunt to get the first drops a flowing.

illmatic

08:29 / 20.07.04

Bear - you can do that now, you've just got put your heart into it....

My only signs of ageing are slight "lovehandles" where previous there was nowt, but it's not that drastic. It's more the mental signs - not being insanely excited about new music, being more tempted to listen to Radio 4 thatn pirates, buying MOJO (the last one's a joke - I hate that magazine), thinking I'm probably a bit old to do x now ie. become world judo champion whereas previously I'd have run after every harebrained scheme that crossed my mind, less interested in getting caned out of my mind all the time (feelings of disapproval crossed my mind at Glasto this year when the Ketamine economy took off at six in the morning), that sorta thing....coppers are looking younger as well...

Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey

08:37 / 20.07.04

Phew, I'm not the only one who's becoming crap, then!

As for the receding hairline, I'm developing a doozy of a patch at the front of my hairline, which my hair is receding behind! Pretty soon I'm going to have a little islet of hair at the front of my head. I'm not sure how to handle this; my wife wants me to grow my hair long to delay the inevitable, but I merely want to accept my fate and keep my grade 2 buzzcut.

And yes, coppers are looking young nowadays. And I keep looking at people driving cars and being amazed that they're actually old enough for a license.

Alex's Grandma

10:09 / 20.07.04

On the subject of hair loss, though that needn't necessarily apply;

It seems to me the way forward is to get a grade 1 all over, apart from an inch-wide stripe on the left hand side, which you would then comb across.

It's the final frontier as far as haircuts go - I don't know about anyone else, but I've never seen it, and if anyone gets one, I will personally buy them a beer.

Michelle Gale

10:18 / 20.07.04

I'm hopeing the comb-over becomes terribly ironic haircut du jour ala mullets, then my baldness shall be cool!

---

10:47 / 20.07.04

Who's doing this to us? It's not fair.

Bed Head

11:16 / 20.07.04

Smile lines. Other people, may cry and go ‘eeeek! wrinkles!’, I’ve heard them doing it, but I call them smile lines and they bloody well rock. My face now goes all crinkly when I smile, with each new line I become a little more like a drawing.

Of course, it’s pretty easy to have that attitude considering I’m still at the stage where they go away when I stop smiling. But by ingraining this mental image now, I‘m hoping to set myself up for a properly dotty old age, me and my comics and my face that looks like a drawing. Oh, what fun we’ll have.

w1rebaby

16:21 / 20.07.04

Apart from slight hair-thinning on the top, which doesn't make much difference when you clipper it down anyway, nothing much. I'm fatter and less fit than I used to be but that's not age, that's no exercise and high-fructose corn syrup. And beer.

Mind you, I'm not terribly old, relatively speaking.

Red Cross Iodized Salt

04:58 / 21.07.04

My hair is now about 30-40% grey and the bags under my eyes that I used to only have Mondays after a heavy weekend appear to have become permanent. Crows feet too. Other than that I don't feel all that old most of the time...although the recovery period from having Too Much Fun is definitely longer than it used to be.

I'm turning 30 in a few weeks and it has me a little apprehensive. It's less about getting 'old' than some vague notion that it might mean it's time for me to 'grow up.'

---

05:04 / 21.07.04

It's less about getting 'old' than some vague notion that it might mean it's time for me to 'grow up.'

Forget all that nonsense, thirty is just a number.
Look : 30

See? Fuck it.

Tell me about your Crow's feet. What the hell does that mean.

Lilly Nowhere Late

06:25 / 21.07.04

I'm sure I'm nearly the oldest female here so please pass on your sympathies. The biggest injustice to women is the dual insult of having wrinkles and spots at once. Surely we were meant to get to give up one when accepting the other? Ageing is awful but a sure way to make oneself feel better is to go headlong into a frenzy of good diet and exercise. Plus get a fringe. These things are only temporary but work wonders for a few weeks at least.

electricinca

11:22 / 21.07.04

This thread got me studying my face in the mirror and wondering about the effects of aging. I'm now convinced I look like a sufferer of Progeria as I'm quite baby faced but I've the lines of an old man appearing.

A fall of geckos

12:24 / 21.07.04

I'm getting white hairs - perfect white, not grey. So far there's not many and they're not really noticeable, but they're all appearing in the same places - the left and right hand side of my temples. None in the middle.
I'm hoping to get stripes.

Sekhmet

12:28 / 21.07.04

Yes, yes, Lilly! I have maintained for several years that havng wrinkles and zits at the same time is heinous and should be impossible. Apparently, though, it's not... sigh...

Does anyone else have this thing where your hair changes texture? Mine used to be very curly. I miss that.

bitchiekittie

15:16 / 21.07.04

"...growing old’s like being increasingly penalized for a crime you haven’t
committed."

- anthony powell

WOOO! I'LL BE HERE ALL DAY!

adamswish

15:21 / 21.07.04

Okay the click list goes like this:

Nose hair - Check

Ear Hair - Check

Receding hair line/Baldness - Check

Grey Hair - Check

All of which I'm fine with. The nose and ear hair are only scary when you feel just how thick the bastard's are as you rip them out. The baldness goes quite well with the Grade one buzz cut I have every six weeks or so. Even the grey is mainly around my temples giving me that distinguished Reed Richards (recovering from brain surgery) look.

No the only thing is when I find grey hairs amongst my chest hair. Actually looking down now they're not so much grey as pure white (or whatever the white version of jet black is).

No-one told me about this. And if my chest hair can go grey/white then what about the other, lower, hair

Sekhmet

17:22 / 21.07.04

I've been thinking about this. I'm not sure when it started, but I can no longer tell the difference between high school and college students, and have begun referring to them all as "kids". Eep.

Also, my friends used to occasionally throw parties for no reason, and as a pretext we would declare it somebody's "30th Birthday Party" and bring black balloons and gag gifts. Now we are all at/close to 30, so it doesn't work anymore. It's been suggested that we start declaring the parties to be somebody's wake instead. But that's not as funny. Especially when you're ooooold.

Saint Keggers

17:39 / 21.07.04

With the gang I hang with somebody always gets Logan's Run on their 30th. Its a sign to think about the iceflow...

Triplets

18:38 / 21.07.04

I'm 20, the only sign of aging I have is the tail end of puberty!

Mourne Kransky

21:19 / 21.07.04

Relax and enjoy, kids. It just gets better, I kid you not. But then, I am a pervert. And so is my lovely partner.

Red Cross Iodized Salt

23:06 / 21.07.04

Tell me about your Crow's feet. What the hell does that mean.

It's when your five toes merge into three long clawed ones and your heel becomes kind of an extra clawed toe. My trainers are all fucked because of it so I have to wear 'sensible' shoes which make me look old.

Ganesh

23:22 / 21.07.04

Not understanding the point of Suedehead's 'ATTACK!!!!!Etc.' thread.

the cat's iao

01:23 / 22.07.04

The plucking [of nose hairs] has induced tears, chiefly beacause; i) It fucking hurts; ii) It's indefatigable proof that I'm starting to 'get on a bit'.

Maybe. I dunno'--I heard that smoking makes your nose hairs grow fater. Is it an old wives tale? Shrug. I smoke. Mine start to poke out now and then, but I like to pluck them. I don't find it hurts very much at all. Or rather, it kinda' hurts but in a neat sort of way. Ya' gotta' go with the flow, eh.

lekvar

04:56 / 22.07.04

Not only do I have exciting nose hairs to deal with, about a year and a half ago I started developing "scary old man" eyebrows." You know, the ones your 7th grade math teacher had, the ones that seemed to point directly at you no matter where you sat in class, the ones that stuck straight out from his forehead whenever he got angry...

Maybe that was just at my school...

Nonetheless, I was proud of them at first, but all my friends told me they were creepy. So now I have embarked on a regular plan of eyebrow-maintenance, including shaving my brow into two distinct brows.

Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey

06:16 / 22.07.04

So now I have embarked on a regular plan of eyebrow-maintenance, including shaving my brow into two distinct brows.

Yes, monobrows have always sorta given me the willies ever since watching A Company Of Wolves when I was a teenager. Also, there's something about a monobrow that reminds me of Grouch off Sesame Street, so it's not all bad, I suppose.

I've recently started getting debilitating cramps in my calves (on my legs, not my livestock), which still cause discomfort up to a couple of days after the initial 'attack', though I think this may be more drink related than an aging problem.

---

06:33 / 22.07.04

It's when your five toes merge into three long clawed ones and your heel becomes kind of an extra clawed toe. My trainers are all fucked because of it so I have to wear 'sensible' shoes which make me look old.

Eurghh! Surely there's some trainers for you somewhere out there?

Not understanding the point of Suedehead's 'ATTACK!!!!!Etc.' thread.

Geez, you must of loved me in the first two months of my conversation thread making.

Jub

06:35 / 22.07.04

Might be gout old boy. It's on the increase apparently. I think that's more to do with your joints though. Definitely drink related.

Jub

06:44 / 22.07.04

oops. that was to Cloned not Banana!

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