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Underground > Film, TV & Theatre >

Green Lantern. Say it isn't so.

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Our Lady Has Left the Building

10:16 / 16.07.04

Aint it Cool claim Jack Black plays Green Lantern in a wacky 'Mask-like' movie. Please tell me Black is playing Hal Jordan, not Kyle Raynor. I wonder what H.E.A.T. will have to say for themselves.

10:40 / 16.07.04

Oh FUCK. FUCK NO. I like Jack, but, FUCK NO.

11:41 / 16.07.04

Yeah, CBR's Comic Reel reported this. The producer attached wants to make it a comedy. Nothing against Jack Black, but fuck no. I really hope this idiotic notion disappears.

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:18 / 16.07.04

If they go ahead with this they will be stripping the heroic Green Lantern of his dignity and insulting comics fans worldwide.

I love it already.

Yotsuba & Benjamin!

12:37 / 16.07.04

Fucking A, Flyboy. If there was ever a comic franchise that needed to deliver a massive load to the faces of its fanbase, its Green Lantern. It's almost too good to be true.

And the best part is that it could potentially do really well, could end up being Jables' The Mask, the movie that solidifies his box office stature and makes assloads of cash.

Now they just need to get Patton Oswalt to write the script. GOLD.

BRING THE H.E.A.T.!

13:15 / 16.07.04

I dunno... If Warner's really want to make a Mask-style Jack Black vehicle based round an established DC character, aren't there other characters that might fit the concept better ? Like Plastic Man say, that fun-loving guy in his orange singlet, or possibly The Flash ? Do you see the problem the producers might have been having here...

13:16 / 16.07.04

What superhero powers does the Green Lantern have, does he light up? Why is he called the Green Lantern?

13:43 / 16.07.04

Man, if there was ever a fucking time for H.E.A.T. to start some shit it would be right fucking now!

14:18 / 16.07.04

Hopefully these are just plans/discussions and no contracts have been signed, so they can all come to their senses after the fan outcry.

16:04 / 16.07.04

I am amused. Green Lantern seems like the perfect premise for a comedy - it's such a ridiculous setup, even more so than the usual superhero gubbins, that it's crying out for this kind of treatment.

That H.E.A.T. site's a parody, yeah?

16:15 / 16.07.04

Every time somone comes up with an idea like this, a John Byrne cries.

16:34 / 16.07.04

No idea how the hell they're going to make a comedy out of this. But yet, I still demand Brad Garrett as Kilowog.

16:57 / 16.07.04

"Another challenge for the Green Lantern, his aid Kilowog, and their rolling arsenal the Dark Knight. On Police records a wanted criminal, Green Lantern is really Hal Jordan, owner-publisher of the Daily Sentinel, his duel identity known only to his secretary and the district attorney. And now, to protect the rights and lives of decent citizens, rides THE GREEN LANTERN."

Yotsuba & Benjamin!

17:26 / 16.07.04

You can't see the comedy in a Jables propelled Green Lantern movie? Grant actually showed the potential quite well in JLA when Kyle kept making Voltron robots and giant safes and stress balls. I am actually much more excited about this take than I would be on a regular "straight" Green Lantern movie. I mean, really, Hal Jordan is pretty two-dimensional on paper. At least a Jables-played Kyle has some zest to it.

It'll be a typical Bruce Almighty/Mask-type comedy, which is much more potentially entertaining than a super-hero with a ring fights, I don't know, is there even a canonical story in the Green Lantern mythos that could sustain a movie? I mean, one that would actually interest a movie going audience? In the vein of Spider-Man fights Green Goblin who turns out to be his best friend's Dad; Daredevil/Elekrta/Bullseye; Hulk v. T-Bolt Ross?

This way it's just fun, Kyle making all kinds of wacky shit with his ring and then realizing at the end that he has to use it for good. I'm there.

Matthew Fluxington

17:40 / 16.07.04

Like Flyboy and Mr. Birdie, I'm rather gleeful at the prospect of pissing off Green Lantern fans. Still, the only time I've EVER enjoyed Green Lantern was when Guy Gardner was in the Justice League, so lowbrow comedy + Green Lantern seems like a natural fit for me.

People really need to be reminded that Hal Jordan is an exceedingly dull character and would never translate well to a proper movie.

19:23 / 16.07.04

I wonder what they'd do with Jack Black's hair.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

21:10 / 16.07.04

I have a wonderful mental image of an entire comic shop stuff full of fat guys in GL T-shirts. Crying.

Brigade du jour

21:11 / 16.07.04

Dye it green, if they've got any sense.

The hair that is. Stoatie jumped in before me and spoiled my comic momentum so I had to modify my post!

A beautiful tunnel of ghosts

21:42 / 16.07.04

Birdie - one of Hal Jordan's Green Lantern enemies is his long-term girlfriend Carol Ferris, who becomes possessed and becomes Star Sapphire, a psychotic killer. I'd say that has the dynamic that you're looking for.

23:30 / 16.07.04

C'mon folks, be somewhat understanding. The people you laud for making the fanboys cry are the same geniuses that are bringing us "Constantine." I have no great sympathies for the Green Lantern franchise (save for the Sensitive Guy Gardner stint in JLA), but this will set a bad precident. I mean, what's next? A wacky She Hulk movie?

Wait a minute...

23:41 / 16.07.04

I also love this news. I can really see Jack Black as Hal Jordan, I think he’s got just the right hair for it. Okay, so the only thing I’ve actually seen him in was Jesus’ Son, but his barnet in that looked to have about the right texture and body to it. A nice haircut and a domino mask and you’ve pretty much got Hal Jordan down, what else is there?. And Jack White would make a splendid Kyle Raynor, if I may be so bold as to shoehorn in my own spaz-casting brainwave. Both of them. In the same film. The kind of comedy that has a faux-retro blues soundtrack and mops up the ‘alternative enough to actually *like* superheroes’ demographic. Which exists, I think.

Black! White! This summer... they’re both GREEEEEENNNNN !!

(With a luridly empurpled John Malkovich as Sinistro, obviously.)

Anyway, point is, I don’t think it needs to be ‘wacky’ to be a comedy. I think this could well turn out to be rather funny and cool, in all the right ways.

23:45 / 16.07.04

Oh, Carol-as-Star-Sapphire would be the sequel. The first one would have Green Lantern being trained in the ways of the GL by his mentor Sinestro, who eventually goes power-hungry, gets a Qwardian ring, and goes nuts. With Alan Rickman as Sinestro, Warwick David as a Guardian, Jennifer Connelly as Carol, and...someone good as Hal. But, who to be Pieface? Heheh.

And Brad Garrett as Kilowog. Dammit.

But they'll just end up making Jack Black G'Nort, or something. But I'd go see a G'Nort movie.

23:58 / 16.07.04

I have a wonderful mental image of an entire comic shop stuff full of fat guys in GL T-shirts. Crying.

[Wets self laughing]
Thankyou for that image.
I reckon the only acceptable GL would be Guy Pearce as Hal with a Spike Jonze script.
Anything else, I'm with the fat guys. Dead. In a ditch. On fire...

03:30 / 17.07.04

And maybe one of the kids from School of Rock as Arisia, Hal Jordan's underage girlfriend.
Yeah, you go, Hal, fight for truth, justice, and the right to screw alien jailbait!
Polanski could direct.

07:17 / 17.07.04

Pieface? Jet Li.

Serious. If you're gonna give Jack Black the universal ultimate weapon, you might as well go whole hog and have some real fun.

Regrettable Juvenilia

13:19 / 17.07.04

The people you laud for making the fanboys cry are the same geniuses that are bringing us "Constantine."

Tautology.

15:40 / 17.07.04

Has anyone ever met any Green Lantern fans though ? I think if you did, you'd just smile a bit queasily, nod, cough and then walk quickly away.

Still, for what it's worth, I would like to say that Jack Black is a *** ******* *** ****, and that what's more, everything the ******* Cheshire cat ************ *** **** ** *** **** * **** ** ******* ****, and that he sooner he gets a ******* ******* ******* ** *** Oscars, the better, *** *** ****, y'know ?

20:08 / 17.07.04

Jack Black is a prick. Just being fat and loud doesn't automatically equal funny. He's a cock and I've yet to see a film I like him in.

21:13 / 17.07.04

"If they go ahead with this they will be stripping the heroic Green Lantern of his dignity and insulting comics fans worldwide.

I love it already. "

Cos making people you dont like feel bad is like, really funny?

or what?

Our Lady Has Left the Building

21:58 / 17.07.04

Of course it is. What's wrong with you?

Well, a proper Green Lantern film would be preferable. But I thought the corruption of Hal Jordan made a great story and as writer Ron Marz said that the title was facing cancellation and no-one could think of GL stories that really mattered. The long slow redemption of Hal Jordan and the clamering of H.E.A.T. for his return as the 'one true Green Lantern' is something I find deeply depressing about the inherently conservative nature of todays funny tights books. It's like the perpetual rumours that the Superman books are going to get 'shaken up' by some device that unmarries Clark and Lois and returns them to him lusting after her while she doesn't know he's Superman, as though returning to a status quo that existed for fifty years is the solution to his decline.

So yes, I do take some pleasure in the thought that should this Green Lantern film get made, it will hopefully ruin a group of sad fatbeards day.

01:29 / 18.07.04

Let's see...

You're talking about people complaining that a pompous second-tier spandex superhero whose plotlines are decided entirely by financial concerns rather than artistic ones, who is currently in the middle of the standard, desperate "back from the dead" bollocks that seemingly comes about every single time similar titles in the genre suffer falling sales figures, who HAS A MAGIC RING, is going to have his dignity stripped by a comedic film treatment.

Hell, cancel the GL movie, I think I've just struck comedy gold right here.

Mister Six, whom all the girls

14:38 / 18.07.04

E. Randy... what comic does that (aside from the magic ring) NOT apply to?

And who here wouldn't buy the Green Lantern comic if Gaiman or Morrison wrote it? Hell, 1602 and X-Men sold well on rep of the writer alone!

You've just not seen a talented writer deal with the character since its inception is all.

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

14:41 / 18.07.04

I wouldn't buy it, but I might see this film.

(I also wouldn't buy anything Gaiman wrote, though.)

Also: Regarding E. Randy's comments, aside from "magic ring" I don't believe it applies to the big super heroes, which is why Randy put "second-tier" superhero. ie, rubbish ones.

16:39 / 18.07.04

What superhero powers does the Green Lantern have, does he light up?

Well, he's got a magic ring, see and when he's in over the second knuckle, fabulous things happen. In a dignified way, obviously.

18:10 / 18.07.04

what comic does that (aside from the magic ring) NOT apply to?

Apart from every non-superhero series, that's why I was careful to say "second tier." GL doesn't have the benefit of being an iconic character outside of the comic world.

It's like complaining because the Punisher movie is shit. Who really cares, bar a few Punisher fans who wouldn't have been happy even if it were the greatest film ever? I mean, we had people here moaning when the first character photo was revealed because the guy playing Frank didn't appear to have black hair. If that ain't funny, I don't know what is.

(Btw, Gaiman's name on its own certainly isn't enough to pull me into reading series, and given that I wasn't convinced by the majority of NXM, neither is Morrison's.)

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