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My cat is such a fatass

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Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

20:24 / 13.07.04

My cat hasn't reached 25 lbs yet, but he's threatening to do just that. He's riding pretty low to the ground these days. The diet cat food doesn't really work, and it makes his shit smell much worse.

I don't know how to get him to exercise more. He's an inside cat, so I'm not about to let him out, and there's no way I'm putting a leash on him.

I've told him that his dry, salty cat food doesn't taste nearly as good as being thin feels, but there has been no effect. Should I just let him enjoy his obesity? He's already like ten years old or something. Maybe he's earned it.

w1rebaby

20:58 / 13.07.04

Chase him round the house with a newspaper. Try one of those vibrating belts. Fill his food with crystal meth.

Or try liposuction. And yeah, people do actually do that.

HCE

21:11 / 13.07.04

I just wanted to say that the title of this thread made me really happy. Thank you.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

22:48 / 13.07.04

Crystal meth? There's not much meth in Detroit. We're still waiting for it to make it up this far. Besides, from the looks of things, my cat hasn't had an energy boost of any note in years. Give him meth and he might explode.

I've already started feeding him less. The gain has stopped, but he's still a tremendous fatass.

Bed Head

23:04 / 13.07.04

Tapeworm. Works like a charm. And also keeps you on your toes re: kitchen hygiene.

No star here laces

23:22 / 13.07.04

Buy him mice from the pet store and tell him that if he wants to eat, he's going to have to catch his food himself.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

01:05 / 14.07.04

The cat needs to start lifting weight. That way it can still eat as much as it does, but the increased muscle mass will up its metabolism.

I'd start the cat with ankle weights, and then build it up to bench presses and squats. Now, the cat may complain when you drop the weights on it's back or chest, but it will eventually have to lift them off if it ever wants to move again.

Saint Keggers

02:22 / 14.07.04

Whenever I read the thread title I keep expecting the audience to yell out "How fatass is he?"

Saint Keggers

02:25 / 14.07.04

Actually what you should do is cover his ass in gold. Then give it to people who really deserve it. They'll say its horrid and you can say "Its not just horrid! Its a catastrophy!!!"

bio k9

02:40 / 14.07.04

You fuckin Canadians and your "jokes"...

_Boboss

07:40 / 14.07.04

make sure he's got lots of catnip toys. it makes them run around and burn more calories. feed them less iams diet food and stick to just the two feedings a day. don't worry about the smell of his poo, just toughen yourself up.

Axolotl

08:28 / 14.07.04

Apparently feeding a cat a mixed diet, i.e both wet, whiskas style, and dry, iams style, is a recipe for obese cats.
Other than that don't feed it as often; though this is difficult as the cat will either look at you in away that implies you are starving it, or will make a nuisance of itself until it is fed.

ephemerat

10:44 / 14.07.04

Our cat is *tiny*. He's an adult, but he's the ideal compact, fast mouser (suiting both both his swashbuckling temperament and name: Flynn). He gets fed once a day with one small tin of meaty/gravy/fishy style cat food and one portion of crunchy hygiene oral-care biscuit-stuff that he can pick at all day.

Unless we've been in and out of the house for a few days and I can't tell whether or not he's been fed in the last twelve hours, and, because I'm a bit drunk, I fall for his piteous implorations - which he's only making 'cause he knows I can be a soft touch at certain times...

No star here laces

11:56 / 14.07.04

While we're doing cat stories, my cat is tiny and I feed him as much as he can eat, keeping the bowl topped up at all times. But that's cos he's a kitten.

He runs around the house at full tilt constantly and attacks my feet whenever I sit still. He hates the computer.

God, kittens are cute.

bitchiekittie

15:05 / 14.07.04

my cats were a very healthy weight, until I moved from a cramped apartment into an actual house. one would think with all of those steps and extra space they'd have LOST weight, but no. I don't feed them more than I used to, and switched to a "less active" formula, which also stopped the gain but damn they're like furry houses on the move!

I think it's sympathy fat.

Cheap. Easy. Cruel.

15:59 / 14.07.04

As cats get older, they tend to gain some weight. One of my GF's cats is huge. She was always a svelte cat, it has only been the last few years she has gained the weight. I think it is just a function of getting older. Next you are at the vet, you should ask them what to do.

Cat Chant

18:11 / 14.07.04

Nothing in the world could be cuter than that kitten, Jefe. NOTHING.

Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero

20:24 / 14.07.04

make sure he's got lots of catnip toys. it makes them run around and burn more calories.

Seems like a good idea.

He caught a mouse once. I thought his hunting days were over when he was declawed. I've toyed with the idea of letting mice loose about the house, but I wonder if he'd get bored with the whole thing. Then I'd have an overweight cat and a rodent infestation. I can barely handle the spiders in my basement as it is.

flufeemunk effluvia

20:32 / 14.07.04

Once per lunar cycle the great cat sensei descends upon the earth and imparts his wisdom of the feline ninjutsu techinque on the unsuspecting few. Seek him out and learn his ways.

Sekhmet

20:46 / 14.07.04

My cat was a fatass till we put him on diet food and then moved to a bigger place. I'm not sure which one did the trick, but I can recommend the combination. Of course, he still looks like a fatass because he's huge and orange and fluffy as hell.

We used the Purina One Healthy Weight Management stuff. Marginally cheaper than Iams, I believe, and apparently not poisonous.

w1rebaby

21:04 / 14.07.04

Catnip just made my dad's cat look silly, and occasionally fall over. No hyperactivity there.

Ethan Hawke

23:00 / 14.07.04

I've been following this thread for two days now, and I've yet to see a picture of a weird creepy super fat cat. I have to say, I'm very disappointed and let down.

Also, I concur with Deva's opinion that there could be nothing cuter than Jefe's kitten.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

23:03 / 14.07.04

That certainly is a spedoingle kitten.

Sekhmet

23:09 / 14.07.04

That kitten... has been eating the Spice.

Red Cross Iodized Salt

02:01 / 15.07.04

My girlfriend's best friend is a veterinarian. When she started to get worried about one of her cats becoming too fat his advice was "Whatever you're feeding him now, cut it in half".

Fudgie wasn't happy, but he spends a lot less time lying around like this now...

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Ten is pretty old for a cat, but they can easily live to eighteen or older if kept on a healthy diet. Besides, cats are designed for running around and jumping on shit, being the cat equivalent of a 700lb Jerry Springer guest can't really be that enjoyable for them.

ONLY NICE THINGS

10:50 / 15.07.04

Kitting!

Tiny kitting!

pointless and uncalled for

11:11 / 15.07.04

There will not be another repeat of the shrews fiasco, you here me.

ONLY NICE THINGS

11:13 / 15.07.04

Oh yeah?

Eat adorable, punk!

Goodness Gracious Meme

11:18 / 15.07.04

naaaa, they're good but 'laces kitten wins. Especially as he actually has possession of that adorable little bundle of fluffyness.

awwwww

*melts*

Olulabelle

11:20 / 15.07.04

Meerkat babies! Meerkat babies! Ooooooh!

Goodness Gracious Meme

11:29 / 15.07.04

I also love the thread title.

Perhaps you could borrow lots of lithe cats, and have them circle yours, pointing and jeering, and singing 'catty is a fatty' songs?

No star here laces

12:21 / 15.07.04

I'm actually insulted. Those meerkat babies are nowhere near as cute as little Schopie (short for Schopenhauer). Besides, they were born on March 2003 so they're way bigger than that by now...

ONLY NICE THINGS

14:24 / 15.07.04

Tin Can Alley of cute.

No star here laces

15:30 / 15.07.04

That dormouse is the epitome of cute.

Look! It's sleeping.

imaginary mice

16:05 / 15.07.04

My pony is overweight. He should be about 380kg but he probably weighs at least 500kg. He's in a field full of grass, so putting him on a diet is pretty impossible.

He's got an overprotective girlfriend (a thoroughbred mare) who doesn't let him anywhere near his friends. She's a real pest but at least she's leaving at the end of the summer.

This has absolutely nothing to do with cats. Just something I needed to get off my chest.

Why isn't there a Barbelith pet forum? I also think New Forest ponies should be mentionned more often on Barbelith. They're ace.

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