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101 Things to do with your Barbelith

  
  

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HCE
22:38 / 09.07.04
1. Post photos of yourself to the PHOTOS thread with self-deprecating captions like 'look im drunk' when you actually think you look really sexy in that photo.

2. Make a list of words you don't understand from Headshop threads to look up later.

3. Quickly close the window so you don't get in trouble for slacking, and just end up looking that much guiltier.
 
 
pomegranate
00:18 / 10.07.04
4. type yr venomous, new-asshole-ripping response to someone who's pissed you off, then hit the back button on yr browser, then click another thread immediately.

5. get drunk and send random PMs.
 
 
bio k9
00:32 / 10.07.04
6. Check for new PMs daily, even though the screen says
You have 0 messages schmucko.
 
 
unheimlich manoeuvre
00:35 / 10.07.04
6. Pray as you enter the Temple.

7. Petition for Barbelith to be recognised as a Site of Outstanding Natural Beauty.
 
 
---
01:11 / 10.07.04
Make a suit for each one of your multiple personalities.

*No i haven't!*

Seriously..........
 
 
Mazarine
01:21 / 10.07.04
8. Read old lateshifts when you're down and remember joy.
 
 
Ganesh
01:29 / 10.07.04
9. Click on ancient archived versions of paleoBarbelith, and ruminate on how much more fresh and vital you sounded way back then. In, as they say, the day.

10. Enjoy a moment of huffiness, and prolong the luxury by composing a 'I will no longer be contributing to Barbelith' which will, you imagine, differ from all previous 'I will no longer be contributing to Barbelith' posts in that people will wail and rend their garments with inconsolable grief at your passing. Because you're special.

11. Sneak back to check that people are wailing and rending their garments with inconsolable grief at your passing. Feel thoroughly pissed off that they're not.
 
 
the cat's iao
03:40 / 10.07.04
2/3 dry gin
1/3 French vermouth
1 dash bitters
Twist of lemon peel
Barbelith

Mix gin, vermouth and bitters. Serve with a twist of lemon peel on top and a barbelith skewered on a wooden pick.
 
 
jblank: the fucking slidechamp
06:08 / 10.07.04
meet somebody that wants to have sex with me.

or at least someone i can have a crush on...
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
04:02 / 19.08.04
12: Something to stare at blearily as you struggle to come to terms with being awake at 6:30.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
08:09 / 19.08.04
13: Realise with a smile, but also with a sense of ontological discomfort, that you'll never be able to look at the RAF (either of them) in quite the same way again.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
08:19 / 19.08.04
You just couldn't let it lie.

14) Hone an ability to not let anything lie, evereverever.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
09:06 / 19.08.04
15) Idly ponder who would go where if Barbelith were streamed like sixth-form colleges. Become increasingly enamoured of the idea.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
09:11 / 19.08.04
Like a fora sorting hat or like a who will end up shuddering on a "special board" results day?
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
09:29 / 19.08.04
1. Suck it and see

2. Connect its leg bone to its hip bone (its got a very hip bone)

3. Break its bones with sticks and stones

4. See if names will hurt it

5. Rub its belly

6. Cocoa

7. Anna Dapter
 
 
Axolotl
10:42 / 19.08.04
Browse it constantly at the office, hitting refresh every few minutes instead of doing any of the numerous but dull tasks you should be working on.

Posting comments on threads that you have no real knowledge of apart from an article you read on the net and the distant memories of a single lecture you had at university. (Or is that just me?)
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
11:07 / 19.08.04
*meekly raises hand*

I really shouldn't be allowed to post here. All I so is seek opinion on articles from the Guardian. I respect the opinion though so not all evil.
 
 
Lord Morgue
12:24 / 19.08.04
1. Intend to link to Somethingawful's Watchmen redub, after the second search (this time only looking at the "Comic Books" area) realise that not only has it been done, but Flyboy has already delivered his arch put-down.

2. Contemplate one's own obsolescence.
 
 
Sekhmet
20:50 / 19.08.04
12. Ignore the established numbering scheme on a list thread.

13. Type up a reply, go to hit Preview, accidentally hit Post instead, and then realize you came off sounding like a total putz. Again.
 
 
Dances with Gophers
22:00 / 19.08.04
15. Hit reply then realise that you forgot wht you were about to post.
 
 
Cloned Christ on a HoverDonkey
23:20 / 19.08.04
19) Reply to a numerically listed post without observing the numerical sequence.

22) Type a reply eight paragraphs long, then not submit it coz it's crap.

23) Keep it secret, for fear of it becoming 'infested'.
 
 
Lord Morgue
13:39 / 20.08.04
24.

CAIGA SU ARMA. USTED TIENE DIEZ SEGUNDOS A CONFORMARSE.
 
 
Sax
13:56 / 20.08.04
25) Fuck it and eat it.
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
15:37 / 20.08.04
26) After Sampling it and looping it first, of course.
 
 
---
04:40 / 21.08.04
Post funny pictures like this :

You wanna see the REAL George Bush?

You really ready for this?






























  
 
the cat's iao
04:53 / 21.08.04
3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862
089986280348253421170679821480865132823066470938446095505822317253594081284811
174502841027019385211055596446229489549303819644288109756659334461284756482337
867831652712019091456485669234603486104543266482133936072602491412737245870066
063155881748815209209628292540917153643678925903600113305305488204665213841469
519415116094330572703657595919530921861173819326117931051185480744623799627495
673518857527248912279381830119491298336733624406566430860213949463952247371907
021798609437027705392171762931767523846748184676694051320005681271452635608277
857713427577896091736371787214684409012249534301465495853710507922796892589235
420199561121290219608640344181598136297747713099605187072113499999983729780499
510597317328160963185950244594553469083026425223082533446850352619311881710100
031378387528865875332083814206171776691473035982534904287554687311595628638823
537875937519577818577805321712268066130019278766111959092164201989380952572010
654858632788659361533818279682303019520353018529689957736225994138912497217752
834791315155748572424541506959508295331168617278558890750983817546374649393192
550604009277016711390098488240128583616035637076601047101819429555961989467678
374494482553797747268471040475346462080466842590694912933136770289891521047521
620569660240580381501935112533824300355876402474964732639141992726042699227967
823547816360093417216412199245863150302861829745557067498385054945885869269956
909272107975093029553211653449872027559602364806654991198818347977535663698074
265425278625518184175746728909777727938000816470600161452491921732172147723501
414419735685481613611573525521334757418494684385233239073941433345477624168625
...) Take as a carry-on.

1.618033988749894848204586834365638117720309179805762862135448622705260 46281890244970720720418939113748475408807538689175212663386222353693179 31800607667263544333890865959395829056383226613199282902678806752087668 92501711696207032221043216269548626296313614438149758701220340805887954 45474924618569536486444924104432077134494704956584678850987433944221254 48770664780915884607499887124007652170575179788341662562494075890697040 00281210427621771117778053153171410117046665991466979873176135600670874 80710131795236894275219484353056783002287856997829778347845878228911097 62500302696156170025046433824377648610283831268330372429267526311653392 47316711121158818638513316203840052221657912866752946549068113171599343 23597349498509040947621322298101726107059611645629909816290555208524790 35240602017279974717534277759277862561943208275051312181562855122248093 94712341451702237358057727861600868838295230459264787801788992199027077 69038953219681986151437803149974110692608867429622675756052317277752035 36139362107673893764556060605921658946675955190040055590895022953094231 24823552122124154440064703405657347976639723949499465845788730396230903 75033993856210242369025138680414577995698122445747178034173126453220416 39723213404444948730231541767689375210306873788034417009395440962795589 86787232095124268935573097045095956844017555198819218020640529055189349 47592600734852282101088194644544222318891319294689622002301443770269923 00780308526118075451928877050210968424936271359251876077788466583615023 89134933331223105339232136243192637289106705033992822652635562090297986 42472759772565508615487543574826471814145127000602389016207773224499435 30889990950168032811219432048196438767586331479857191139781539780747615 07722117508269458639320456520989698555678141069683728840587461033781054 44390943683583581381131168993855576975484149144534150912954070050194775 48616307542264172939468036731980586183391832859913039607201445595044977 92120761247856459161608370594987860069701894098864007644361709334172709 19143365013715766011480381430626238051432117348151005590134561011800790 50638142152709308588092875703450507808145458819906336129827981411745339 27312080928972792221329806429468782427487401745055406778757083237310975 91511776297844328474790817651809778726841611763250386121129143683437670 23503711163307258698832587103363222381098090121101989917684149175123313
...) Use as a flirtation device in an emergency.
 
 
Benny the Ball
11:24 / 22.08.04
74. Check the "Barbquotes" and "Bizzarolith" threads, thinking maybe they have... see that they haven't, realise that they never will...
 
 
Saint Keggers
13:57 / 22.08.04
75. Feed it after midight
 
 
Less searchable M0rd4nt
17:25 / 22.08.04
76: Feed it After Eights.
 
 
Ganesh
17:27 / 22.08.04
77) Feed it afterbirth.
 
 
the cat's iao
18:53 / 22.08.04
-8, 888, 333) Feed it to the Five-thousand.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
19:28 / 22.08.04
78) Feed it, Seymour.
 
 
HCE
17:34 / 23.08.04
Ganesh, your suggestion reeks of PC GONE MAAAAD. Please revise.
 
 
Ganesh
17:49 / 23.08.04
You've never tasted deep-fried placenta? Is that just an east-coast Scottish thing?
 
 
Sax
18:08 / 23.08.04
My PC's gone fucking mad, I can tell you. It wants to download some pictures of Christine Aguilera having doubtful airbrushed sex with a pig and instead I'm logging on to this stuff.
 
  

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