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Not angry? ill soon sort that

  
  

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pointless and uncalled for
07:21 / 29.06.04
Without getting detail heavy, and yes this should be a seperate debate, but I think you're missing it a bit.

Assuming God exists, and assuming the general interpretation of the bible is reasonably accurate then in response to worshipping him and living right (which you don't have to be that good at) then you get created, eternal life, omnipotence, omnipresence, unlimited chances to get it right (even at the eleventh hour) and the occasional miracle. Not to mention some rather fancy hats.

On the other hand if you wander off and worship a milk bottle then I think it would be fair enough for God to refer to you as an ungrateful little shit.
 
 
Seth
07:51 / 29.06.04
No. You've all got it wrong. We made God, Ze worships us and we don't want Hir to be gay. God will cry if evolution is taught in schools because it'll undermine Hir faith in us. God is lovely but like a child.
 
 
Seth
07:52 / 29.06.04
Beneath this thread lies a disease.
 
 
Jub
07:59 / 29.06.04
more threadrottery:
...there's also the double fuck you of the believe it now and can't change your mind claus, which goes something like this: If you're a little twisted twat your whole life and then accept JC at the last minute before you pop your clogs - you get through and spend eternity in the kingdom of heaven. Yay! However, if you're a believer, then have a period of not believing, old JC (or St Peter, whatever) stands up and shouts in your face "tough shit loser, - you had your chance and you fucked it up!" - and you get to spend eternity in the firey pits of hell.

Jack Chick da man!
 
 
Pants Payroll
13:42 / 29.06.04
...as we skirt around the topic of wierd biblical stuff, I thought i'd post this for those that hadnt run across it before. It's a response to radio advice kook Dr Lauras saying that homosexuality is forbidden in Leviticus.

Dear Dr. Laura

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual cleanliness - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don.t agree. Can you settle this?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn.t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan,
Jack
 
 
grant
16:25 / 29.06.04
Just found one of these tucked into the top of a gasoline pump. It's one I hadn't seen before, a kind of boring one about two "comical" demons trying to keep a new convert from blossoming in faith.

I have a deep and abiding love for Jack Chick, largely because he is so full of bile and makes little attempt to hide it.

The "canonical" way (hee!) to come across Chick tracts is to find them in a public place, stacked next to a convenience store door, stuck in a coffeeshop shelf next to the free weeklies. I don't think any evangelist has ever handed me one. Then again, the face-to-face (door-to-door) evangelists I come into contact with are all bound for hell, as far as Chick is concerned -- they're all Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons.

The comics, by the way, came from the Army. What I mean is, Chick got the idea to spread the word via simple comic strips from the Army, who use(d?) similar comics as instructional manuals.

And, I think, as propaganda. This'd be in the Vietnam era or shortly after, I believe.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
17:44 / 29.06.04
I think my favourite ever finding of a chick track was in a small waterproof bag secured toa bench directly in front of Rodin's La Porte de L'Enfer in Paris. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense...
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
17:57 / 29.06.04
Ah, Jack Chick isn't so bad. His method of evangelicizing (is that really a word?) is really one of the less invasive. In the american south you run the chance of being ambushed on the street, at sporting events, even at your own house.

By the way, those parodies of the Chick tracts done by "psycho dave" suck ass. Try picking on someone who doesn't believe in peace, love and redemption, you big sissy!
 
 
Char Aina
18:28 / 29.06.04
Beneath this thread lies a disease.

does it have a beard?




And, I think, as propaganda. This'd be in the Vietnam era or shortly after, I believe.

there was a show on last night's telly concerning the dark pornographic propaganda artwork of the second world war. they said the german army used it first against the french on the maginot line.

is chick a kind of porno for fundies?
i'd bet they love to read about the dirty deviants as much as us deviants like to take the piss out of them.
 
 
w1rebaby
19:01 / 29.06.04
Sounds a bit like this page - Sex and Psyops, all about sexual propaganda aimed at enemy troops (WW2 mostly)

not work safe (though not very explicit, they've blurred the worst bits)

I thought it was interesting how the German leaflets for US troops had such a class-war element to them.
 
 
Char Aina
19:57 / 29.06.04
i liked the british use of the germans racism against themselves. they apparently got leaflets to wermacht troops showing them images of the less racially pure germans that were by necessity employed in the factories back home. they showed them in graphic wife-pleasing detail, taking care of the beautiful and lonely aryan maidens left behind.
 
 
grant
14:39 / 30.06.04
is chick a kind of porno for fundies?
i'd bet they love to read about the dirty deviants as much as us deviants like to take the piss out of them.

Chick is really porno for the spiritually paranoid. I love the concept that you can worship the wrong deity by mistake... that the will you exert in devotion to a compassionate entity or cause (like the Virgin Mary or the Masons) can actually be *stolen* by Satan. That you have to sort of earmark prayer by name (this prayer is for Jesus, who is the God of the Old Testament) or else who *knows* where it's going to wind up.
 
 
■
11:14 / 02.07.04
Oh, joy. Doing a bit of research on comics and stuff, I cane across this review of a friggin Jack Chick DVD!.
I want one. Yes I do.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
16:26 / 02.07.04
This movie is perfect for parties and for playing on onstage monitors at death-metal shows.

I want one too!
 
  

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