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So I decided to go to a fetish club last night, on my own, in Brighton, where I’ve been living for a few weeks. Walk in the door and am standing at the bar when a couple of girls come up and start talking to me. One looks a bit Kate Moss-ish and is wearing a cowboy hat and leather trousers. We start chatting and they’re asking all about me, they seem really interested. One of them says “hmm, you don’t seem like a very submissive type” or something and I’m like “well, y’know- try anything once” kind of thing, trying to chuckle through her slightly dom-ish behaviour, which I’m a bit unsure how to deal with.
They eventually say “hey- why don’t you come up on stage and we’ll tie you up on that big cross”. I’m like “noooo way”, try to tell her that I’m still feeling a bit shy and awkward- and I’ve never really tried any of that kind of thing so I’m not about to try it now, in front of a crowded club on a stage- I’m not that much of an exhibitionist. But they keep on and eventually I think “fuck it” (as I do with probably alarming regularity these days) and walk up onto the stage with them where I get strapped into this big X-shaped frame.
Anyway, next thing I know, troosers and undergarments are down – I’m surprisingly sanguine about this, given that I’m being watched by an entire club of people (and I don’t feel particularly compelled to display my arse to strangers, normally). One of the girls says “yeah- don’t worry about it. The thing about pain is you just have to concentrate on something to get through it then you get this massive endorphin rush which is really amazing”. Riiiight. Bit worried now but trying to be kind of jokey and faux-theatrical. Oh yeah and she says I can say a safe word “mercy”, if it all gets a bit much.
Anyway, ass-slapping proceeds, then riding crops and things. I occasionally go “ow” in a camp, nonchalant way, as I can’t take the whole thing seriously and I feel like I need to keep up some kind of act – I can see people looking at me (this all probably sounds quite nightmare-ish and Eyes Wide Shut but I’m seeing the funny side of things, for some reason – well, an obvious reason). It’s not too sore. Then the Kate Moss girl comes round the front and starts talking to me and tweaking my nipples, causing me to squirm as it’s really painful (and not in a good way, it doesn’t seem at the time). This all goes on a bit longer and my arse is getting whacked from all sides. Oh yeah and a guy comes round the front and starts talking to me at one point, who’s dressed like catman or something- heheh.
After a while I think it’s all getting a bit on the painful side so give my safe word. One of the girls uncuffs my wrists but then they decide to leave the stage, with my feet still all strapped in. I can see them looking up at me from the crowd and laughing – I kind of jump up and down impatiently and fumble around- it’s all potentially quite embarrassing but I try to keep an air of someone who’s finding it funny, or like it’s all an ingenious practical joke. Almost the entire club is breaking into applause at this point as I try to leap off the stage and pull up trousers in one motion. But I’m just desparate to get to the bar…
Everyone else I spoke to for the rest of night was like “yeah man, I enjoyed your show” 
Anyway- that’s pretty much it. Just thought I’d share my flogging anecdote |
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