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Your Job

 
  

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Sax
13:18 / 10.06.04
"The Gandy Dancer and the Permanent Way".

Hmm.

**rings literary agent**
 
 
grant
13:31 / 10.06.04
fridgemagnet: I am a programmer for a pharms company, producing output based on study data for clinical R&D trials.

Hey, which one? I’ve got a friend who’s a chemical engineer for 3M – was involved with the new herpes gel, now onto something else. PM if you don’t feel like getting specific in public.

BioK9: Gandy Dancer. Right now, in this weather, it rules. We have a form to fill out if we need to take a nap on the clock.

Odd – one of my very first internet (actually, CompuServe, pre-net for me) friends was a gandy dancer. A former one, actually – became some sort of businessman, moved to Switzerland.

Jefe de jefelaces: I'm a strategic planner at an advertising agency. My job is to understand the culture and psychology of product choice, and how to change it.

Dude – how do you get that gig?

Illmatic: I work on grants assessment and management

So, uh, how’m I doing?

vividis23: I work for a small land surveying company, mostly drawing maps on this very computer.

If you use GIS data to create maps, I might know the guy who created your software. He’s a biologist, oddly, but wound up doing this stuff because no one else was making the tools he needed to map out state parks (mainly to track invasive plant species, I think).

Bobossboy: Grant, does your rag specialize in the rum and uncanny, or is the unexplained just a subset of a broader sensationalistic focus? Could you tell us more about Reagan's predictions?

Well, the basic remit is “marvels and wonders” I suppose – stories of survival, kids with strange diseases, occasional sensational crimes. We also have a largish medical info page (geared for our readers, who are mostly over 60) and a page or two dedicated to older celebrities, but only in a puff-piecey “where are they now?” kind of way. No scandals, no gossip. I used to ghost write a weird science column, but that is, alas, no more. Those stories do turn up elsewhere in the magazine… mostly rewrites from New Scientist, Nature, and Fortean Times. Right now I’m doing a piece on Atlantis – various sites that could be the sunken city Plato described.
Reagan… he was a visionary president, you know. All presidents have to deal with predictions of future events, but his insight was uncanny and eerily accurate, even now, 20 years later. A file left to his successors was recently discovered in a small writing table in a study located off the Oval Office. Blah. Blah. Blah. If you want to read his actual predictions, it’ll be on the stands the first week of July. In short, now is not the time to holiday in the Middle East, kay?
 
 
Cheap. Easy. Cruel.
14:08 / 10.06.04
Your job doesn't sound all that different from mine vividis23. I spend a large part of my day drafting on plats and building details and such.

Wow, grant, I use that software at least once a week. It is about to become an everyday thing with me. When I inherited them all of the maps in this half of the state were in such deplorable shape, I am about to embark on a system-wide redraw.
 
 
Spaniel
14:33 / 10.06.04
If you want to read his actual predictions, it’ll be on the stands the first week of July.

Not in the UK it won't.

Unless you know better.
 
 
illmatic
14:34 / 10.06.04
Grant - if it was down to me, I would have you funded just to do that job all day long and post it all on here. It sounds great - as do some aspects of Jefe's. But unfortuately, getting a grant is kind of like playing corporate wank bingo but for real money (ie. big organisations and middle class white people get all the money) and you don't "deliver" the kind of "public benfits" we'd be looking for. It does make me go "aarrrggh" - sorry, I've just come out of a meeting where I've been told things will "cascade down" into my forward job plan from the Operations management plan. No, it fucking won't 'cos I won't be here.
 
 
grant
14:38 / 10.06.04
I'll take that assessment as positive, then.
 
 
Grey Area
15:12 / 10.06.04
Everyone else's jobs sound so wonderful...possibly because I don't have one. Like psi, I am a PhD student. I'm looking at how children develop as consumers, and am trying to get an academic model out there that tracks the different stages a child goes through as it matures. As an aside I am also trying to set the development of consumption skills against the development of the child's intellect and morality. It's (still) interesting work, but having slogged around with this for nearly three years the topic is starting to lose it's charm. As is the teaching side, which only makes me depressed thanks to the apathetic attitude of the majority of students who darken my door. All I want is to be finished and find a decent job. Finished I tell you.
 
 
Psi-L is working in hell
15:26 / 10.06.04
I completely agree with you Grey Area.....apathetic students, no money and banging away at the same piece of research, which you know only a few people will actually ever read in its entirety (though your's sounds far more interesting and relevant than mine so that may not be the case) does not provide much job satisfaction most days. After running screaming back into academia a few years ago, a 'real job' is starting to look attractive again....at least all those pesky students have buggered off for the summer now.

That said...I am having a crap day today....some days I feel lucky to be able to sit and think about things that are interesting to me and not have to deal with the management crap i've had to deal with in some office jobs.
 
 
Axolotl
15:40 / 10.06.04
I have what I consider to be a fairly shitty job working as a paralegal for a law firm. They pay me the national average wage (that doesn't go far where I live) but it is ethically somewhat suspect (as I do a lot of work for evil property developers). However being as how the previous year I had spent doing bar or warehouse work I figure I'm probably doing alright.
I am however at a point where I've been here for a while and have got bored of doing a job that doesn't fufill me in any way at all, and am wondering where I can go from here.
 
 
Saveloy
15:43 / 10.06.04
Christ, even the shit office jobs sound better than my shit office job! (My one perk is that I can come in any time I like. My one other perk is that I can dress casual). I'm taking this as further evidence that the internet and everyone posting on it was created purely to cause me angst.

Xoc>

When you were a nurse, how did you feel about the doctors / psychiatrists etc? My psychiatric nurse pal up in Brum insists that there is constant bad feeling between the two camps.
 
 
VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering
16:20 / 10.06.04
I'm a Chef. Sous-Chef actually.
You can probably guess what that involves.

I like the Uniforms and the Waitresses.
The Flames are cool too. And the Knives.

I'd rather be creating in some other way. Music, Literature. Culinary life is pretty high-pressure.
 
 
captain piss
18:15 / 10.06.04
I work in copywriting and journalism, except the magazines and things are read by...the people who design electronic gizmos basically. I know all about the wee chips that go on circuit boards, why they use the ones they do and what it all means. Don't know why I know all this stuff, it was just what I had learn to complete various work assignments over the years. There's two ring binders of mind maps under my bed that cover everything I've learned in the past 8 years. It means I can write trade mag articles where I get paid 500 quid a shot, which is nice. Although I was struggling to find enough work last year so I've taken a full time job to pay off some debt.

I'm currently thinking of starting a full-time course learning to be a teacher of the Alexander technique. It means I'd have to work nights for about 3 years, doing freelance writing to support myself, which I don't know if I can handle, plus it will be a few more years before I'm debt free, at this rate.

That's my work tale. Boring, eh?
 
 
Persephone
18:59 / 10.06.04
Not boring! I want to know about the mind maps. Do you regularly map ...your mind? Do you do it yourself, or do you get it done by somebody else? Etc.
 
 
.
19:44 / 10.06.04
I was a general web monkey, but recently I got an entry level job as an information architect for a fairly well respected new media agency. 'Information architect' - doesn't that sound cool? Very William Gibson. Shame it aint as interesting as that.
 
 
Jack The Bodiless
20:21 / 10.06.04
I'm a fee earner for a firm of solicitors - basically, we get loads of legal expenses work from major insurance companies, and if one of those clients is involved in an accident (road traffic, whatever) which is someone else's fault, like as not I'm the man who'll get them compensation, and steer them away from those nasty scumbag ambulance chasers who bother people in supermarkets.

I used to work in fraud investigation for a major metropolitan insurer, but they were cunts and gave my job to someone else (to stop them leaving) after I'd been doing it for two years and pretty much rebuilt the anti-fraud strategy for the office from the ground up. So I decided to go work for the other side (imagine going from playing in goal to being a striker). Pay's a hell of a lot better, the company treats me like I'm worth a damn (I got promoted a few months ago. All three partners, my old boss's boss, my new boss's boss, all individually phoned or emailed me to congratulate me. I got a letter of thanks from a client the other days. My boss, her boss and his boss all individually approached me to tell me how pleased they were and that they were proud of the work I'd done on that case. That kind of thing. Kind of unprecedented in Jack's working life).

Also - we just got our profit share information through, and it looks like my July pay packet just near-tripled. I should have moved years ago...

Commuting to Basingrad, however, sucks ass.
 
 
Tuna Ghost: Pratt knot hero
21:31 / 10.06.04
I'm a Chef. Sous-Chef actually.
You can probably guess what that involves.


You know, I've always wanted to switch from serving to being a chef. The sous chefs where I work get to wear big, comfy pants and are allowed to have tatoos on their heads. Plus, y'know, the knives and fire. Pretty sweet deal, really.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
22:00 / 10.06.04
Saveloy, it's fair to say, I think that I had the reputation of being a bit of a c**t to the medics when I was a nurse. Compromised that fine legend a bit though, having been living with one of the arrogant little blighters for the last decade.

I think both doctors and nurses have grown up a bit in the way they attempt to work more collaboratively these days, or maybe that's just me talking through my Organisational Development Consultant hat.

I remember my irritation after nearly twenty years, two professional qualifications, a first degree and postgraduate work, to discover that Ganesh, who was just a baby doc then, was earning so much more than me. I did my best to drag him down to my level by phoning him up and shouting at him on several occasions, even after we began our clandestine affair.
 
 
Gypsy Lantern
22:54 / 10.06.04

I’m a professional wrestler. I spend my working day delivering the smackdown to scrawny mealy-mouthed sumbitches like you guys. In my spare time I drink beer and bite the heads off chickens. Sometimes I like to listen to the beautiful sounds of Scott Walker and the Walker Brothers. I always wear a mask in the ring, and when I put it on I am unstoppable. Lately I’ve been getting some freelance mercenary work, advising a consortium of brutal south sea pirates on the high pressure business of plunder on the high seas. I love a nice cake at the end of the day. Battenburg is a particular favourite of mine, although arctic rolls are nice too. I like my work. My favourite thing about my job is when make someone’s ribs pop. One day I hope to live in a big house with my best friend Polly. She is a witch. I like her because she had a baby and then ate it.
 
 
Olulabelle
22:58 / 10.06.04
You're a big liar.
 
 
Olulabelle
22:59 / 10.06.04
You so don't have a best friend called Polly.
 
 
lekvar
23:06 / 10.06.04
I have to admit I'm amazed that, with this lot, Gypsy Lantern is the first to cop to a job involving beer and/or chicken heads.
 
 
Pants Payroll
01:50 / 11.06.04
I'm a picture framer. The place I work at does jobs for shops that dont have the space/equipment to do it themselves, so we get all sorts of things: school photos, childrens drawings, giant 3mX4m paintings for galleries, needlepoints, various sport jerseys, electric guitars, golf balls, christening gowns, pretty much anything somebody might want framed. Lots of crap, but occasionally something cool. Once, an original Dali watercolour. I like it. Its semi-creative. Theres always problem solving, always something new to learn. I enjoy working with my hands. Most of the people are pretty cool. The pay is alright, my bank account hasnt been at zero for a few years, but I tend to live well within my means.
At home I'm a musician. A few years ago I developed tinnitus, so now I mostly just make music on my computer. A couple times a year I treat myself to playing live. Last month I played at a local venues annual salute to 70's rock with everybody in full "moustache rock" drag, and last weekend I played at a party thrown by a theater group/puppetry troupe at their workshop, with puppets and bits of sets all around.
A hobby of mine seems to be falling for women who would rather be in disfunctional relationships with assholes. But I digress...
 
 
Red Cross Iodized Salt
03:33 / 11.06.04
I'm a business analyst at a financial services company. I look at different aspects of what the company does and write specifications for developers to use when coding applications and systems. I spend a lot of time meeting with people who head up various departments, finding out what they want to use technology to do and translating this into technical requirements. I also spend quite a bit of time explaining why certain things can't be done for technical reasons (to the business people) or why things need to be done a certain way for business reasons (to the developers).

Writing that paragraph without slipping into total corporatespeak was really difficult.

The only things I like about my job are that it pays well, is sponsoring my visa and provides a reasonably benign work environment (which is saying a lot in the financial sector). The things that frustrate me the most are the insane levels of bureaucracy, complete absence of creativity, and the fact that it's really not that stimulating. There is often a lot of extremely dense legal and financial stuff to be dealt with so it can be challenging, but these things are so boring that the challenge invariably seems like a total waste of time. I've been there for a little over two years (which is the longest I've ever stayed in one job) so I mustn't hate it too much, although I did recently update my resume with a view to seeing if there was anything a little more interesting out there.

I've had better and worse jobs: The worst was when I worked as a cleaner in a retirement home in London. Having mad old people throw handfuls of shit at your head one minute and offer you melted KitKats the next is unnerving to say the least (nine years ago this summer and it still makes me shudder to think about it). The best was a computer game start-up I was involved in when I first moved to New York. We spent all our venture funding on games, gadgets, fact-finding missions to Tokyo and meetings in expensive restaurants. Then the economy went to shit before we had actually gotten anything to market and we had to go and get real jobs.
 
 
Scrubb is on a downward spiral
07:14 / 11.06.04
I have 2.5 jobs which adds up to about one living wage.

Job the first - Yet another PhD student (waving at psi-lock and Grey Area), finishing my 1st year. I’m looking at the reasons why the adult entertainment industry (ie. porn) excel at innovating and appropriating new technologies. As far as I know it’s the first study of its kind (ie. business studies/porn) which rocks hard, but is also terrifying as I don’t have the back-up material that most other research projects do. Despite the occasional waves of terror (OhmyGODwhatamIdoingI’mNEVERgoingtobeabletofinishthis) I absolutely love it, and am still slightly stunned that I got funding for it. No teaching surly apathetic undergrads as yet.

Job the second - till monkey in a comic shop. Again, much love for this - the vast majority of the customers are lovely (if much more knowledgeable about Green Arrow than me) and I like the “educational” part of it (“Don’t read that - read this!”). Plus we’ve just had major refurbishments which make it it much more pleasant, less cave-like place to work.

Job the second-and-a-half - Volunteer at a sex/drugs education and support charity. This is a few hours a week and lots of different stuff - doing sex’n’relationships workshops at schools (describing fisting to a room of 15-year olds, fun fun - there is nothing to fear after this); doing pregnancy tests, and providing sexual health info and contraception at the drop-in; handing out condoms/lube at various clubs and halls of residences around town.
 
 
illmatic
08:05 / 11.06.04
I've got to say I find this thread oddly inspiring. I'm surprised that people are doing such a wide range of occupations and that (for the most part) they're into 'em, or looking at moving on. Good thread.
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
08:30 / 11.06.04
lekvar,

I can assure you that there is not shortage of beer and chickenheads in the government.

It's how we charge up our superpowers.
 
 
sleazenation
09:21 / 11.06.04
I'm more inspired to sell this thread to a marketing company for $$$.
 
 
Spaniel
09:28 / 11.06.04
So, how many of us really like our jobs, then?

As I said earlier, mine's okay, but to be honest I'm hardly living the dream. A year ago I had absolutely zero interest in working for a trade union, and even less in working within the rail. Frankly, I didn't give too much of a shit about education.

So what's good about my job? Other than the aforementioned money, etc... Er, well... I like most of my colleagues, and a fair few of the people I come into contact with peripherally. Um... I like the structure - you know, getting into a rountine where you get out of bed of a morning - of course, I could get structure out of cleaning public shitters, so I'm not sure it counts. I like the time I get to spend fiddling around on the internet. Oh yeah, I like all the train travel - I get to read a lot.

A friend of mine once bemoaned the fact that job ads never take the time to detail the good stuff i.e. the amount of time you can expect to spend dossing around, who's the biggest twat in the office, your new colleagues' opinions on The War on Terror, etc...
 
 
Alex's Grandma
09:44 / 11.06.04
While I would love to tell you what I do for the government, it's more than my life's worth. Mine, and all of yours...
 
 
illmatic
09:44 / 11.06.04
Well, if it wasn't clear enough from my post above, I dont actually, actively like my job, but it's okay - I get to do some okay stuff, some of the time, which is often for the public good. But I'm moving on to something which (I hope) will prove a lot more fulfilling.
 
 
Spaniel
09:53 / 11.06.04
The thing is, I'm not sure I'll ever find any sort of office work particularly fulfilling. For that matter, I'm not sure I'll ever find anything I'm financially compelled to do for 35+ hours a week entirely satisfying.

Hope you get more out of your new job, Ill.
 
 
VonKobra,Scuttling&Slithering
10:05 / 11.06.04
I kind of like my job. As the other Johnny said, I can have as many Tattoos as I want. And it's a bit like being in a gang, I guess. Or maybe crewing a Submarine, there's a weird pride and camaraderie amongst Hospitality workers.

Trouble is, it's underpaid, the hours are long and unsociable, drug and alcohol abuse are rife, it's very hard to hold down a steady relationship working as a chef....I'm already divorced.

And physically it's getting harder and harder as the years progress. Cuts, burns, etc add up. The immune system gets run down from the long shifts and not eating properly etc(a very common thing amongst us;you cook the fucking stuff all day, you can't be bothered doing it when you get HOME, can you?), also I always find myself chain-smoking now. I have a screw in my knee from a Karate injury, and it's getting worse and worse from working in kitchens.

I'm hoping to get into writing. And it's been 5 years since I picked up an instrument, I suspect that's doing my head in. London will be a change, methinks. Though I might work in a Kitchen there for a while, just to see what it's like.
 
 
Spaniel
10:53 / 11.06.04
The life of a chef sounds rather fucked.

A friend of mine, whilst training at the Savoy, was beaten shitless by his sous chef - he was caught snorting a line of speed.

Two things spring to mind: why did he need to take speed at work, and what kind of workforce turns a blind eye to physical violence in the workplace?
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
11:04 / 11.06.04

I'm reminded that there is a whorecard that circulates Kings Cross which reads "I like my job" and give a number, nothing else.
 
 
sleazenation
11:16 / 11.06.04
I always liked to imagine that those 'i like my job' cards were placed by chartered accountants wanting to talk about their work. The closest they wouuld have come to 'double entry' was in book-keeping
 
  

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