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I speak for the Morlock Nation. Von Kobra, your flunkies bore us with their attempts at negotiation, so we come to you directly.
Our offer is simple and non-negotiable. We will allow your robotic ants to pass through our halls, to strike at the heart of your enemies. We will also sabotage all Moldovan field-latrine units, weakening your enemy through a combination of nausea, explosive bladder failure and fire-hose strength colonic irrigation.
In return we ask for nothing less than 20.385million euros, three large Jacuzzis, a Winnebago and the delivery of a fun-size bag of pretzels to the White House and No. 10 Downing Street. Oh, and the assistance of your troops in mopping up the inevitable mess.
Note that we cannot allow access to your werferwerfer, werferwerferwerfer or autowerfer units, or any derived technologies, since we consider them too experimental and unstable. It took us ages to find the tiles for our suspended ceilings, and that particular line has been discontinued.
Yrs sincerely,
The Morlock Nation.
"We'll work for Food" |
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