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How fucked up am I?

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No star here laces

16:26 / 15.05.04

Seth, you've just restored my faith in several different things.

19:03 / 15.05.04

If getting the Powerbook does not mean the difference between eating and not eating or being able to pay the rent and being homeless...then get the Powerbook.

(15" w/ the fastest processor. Don't bother with a superdrive, you'll probably never use it)

Agh. Stop it. I was in the Apple Store today, opening and closing one and imagining myself with it, like writing my first name with someone else's surname to see what it would look like if we were married.

If someone hadn't stolen my bank card on Thursday, I might be typing on it now. I don't need the thing. Agh.

13:52 / 16.05.04

I never realized how incredibly successful I am at the game of life. Sure, I've been unemployed for the last six months and have no real qualifications (though a few imaginary ones), but I've still got some savings left and I start a new job tomorrow.

Fuckedupness: 2/10. Dammit, failed again!

*tries to shoot self in head... misses several times, accidently killing bald eagle and albatross*

08:25 / 17.05.04

Had accident that left my groin partially numb

100 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS

Still able to have orgasms inspite of numb groin

MINUS 20 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS (hey, gotta have SOMETHING positive)

orgasms so difficult that they exhaust me for a month or so afterwords.....

50 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS, (oh crap.......)

living in a building where the landlord has decided that having hall monitors might be a cool idea

1000 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS

Landlord constantly on ass for playing stereo

50 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS

Landlord approves of 90 year-old man playing tuba at 8:30 in the morning

100 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS

Fast talking neighbor that whips his penis out

50 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS

Unless I need a good laugh.........

MINUS 50 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS

asked guy out and was rejected because he was too spiritual to screw me, (hey, read above, look what I was willing to give up......)

200 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS

He got me a large jar of curry for me for consolation. I did have to pay for it, but it was highly discounted......

MINUS 5 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS

Finding that no matter how much curry I take, it won't get me high...

2000 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS

You do the math.......

08:38 / 17.05.04

Oh, the guy that I asked out wasn't the guy that whips his penis out.... I got standards.......

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:21 / 17.05.04

Age:32
Units of alcohol consumed per week: 140
Recommended weekly alcohol intake: 20
Hours a week spent in alcohol counselling: 1

11:03 / 17.05.04

Age at first kiss with tongues: 23

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:31 / 17.05.04

Seth is living proof that ADVENTURE LIVES FOREVER.

06:53 / 18.05.04

Number of topics I've started on Barbelith after being rejected by someone: 1

Replies posted by that person: 1

Number of times this person gets mentioned by other people: 3

Barbelith really is a very small place.

07:04 / 18.05.04

Had accident that left my groin partially numb

100 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS

Still able to have orgasms inspite of numb groin

MINUS 20 FUCKEDUPEDNESS POINTS (hey, gotta have SOMETHING positive)

orgasms so difficult that they exhaust me for a month or so afterwords.....

You poor thing! That guy who rejected you needs a stiff kicking. He's probably scared to have sex with you. I've met these "too spiritual for sex" types before, it's all smokescreen for personal neuroses.

10:04 / 18.05.04

Agreed.

12:17 / 18.05.04

I had one of those once (too religious - whatever...) He once told me that his bible reading guide said that as a Christian he had to imagine he was standing on a chair and that I, the non-Christian (read: 16 years old obviously the spawn of satan coz I didn't go to church every week) was standing on the floor - it would be far easier for me to pull him down than for him to pull me up. Way to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit! Being treated as a second class citizen by my supposed boyfriend kinda fucked me off.

Oh yeah - fuckedupness points... hmmm... well, I'm kinda over it now, but for a while at least 300000 ;-)

00:25 / 19.05.04

So I guess the people who don't have sex for spiritual or religious reasons are more fucked up than the people who post to this thread. At least we're not scared, neurotic or treat people like worthless pieces of shit.

They win!

15:17 / 19.05.04

Oh - please don't be offended! I didn't mean that at all! It wasn't the fact he wouldn't have sex with me (to be honest, I was a virgin and the thought was a little terrifying anyway) it was the idea that because I wasn't a regular church goer I was somehow worth so much less than he was. It gave me a bit of a complex about sex and religion for quite a while. I didn't really feel it was up to him or his bible guide to judge me. Really, that was my point. He made me feel like, and treated me as if I was a worthless piece of shit.

15:34 / 19.05.04

Preferring porn to actual sex for spiritual and religious reasons strikes me as a bit strange. It also goes against the whole idea of "not treating people like shit", which is essentially what porn is all about (actually, that's probably why I enjoy watching it, because I can identify with being used and abused and guys not calling me after they've had sex with me etc etc. I find romantic comedies or pretty much any film about love far more offensive than porn. And less realistic. But that's just me I guess.). At the same time porn leaves me feeling quite grubby and depressed and guilty. Real sex is so much better. It just leaves me depressed. Ha!

Ex

15:43 / 19.05.04

I forgot to pack my sandwiches this morning.

+3 FUCKED UP POINTS

When I get home, there'll be a little parcel of sandwiches waiting on the kitchen table.

-2 FUCKED UP POINTS

The cheese will be a bit warm and oily.

+2 FUCKED UP POINTS

But I'll probably eat them anyway. And have a nice sit-down, and a glass of orange juice, and maybe share an apricot with the rat.

-5 FUCKED UP POINTS

Ahead today - but what terrors will tomorrow hold?

17:20 / 19.05.04

I find porn nothing but funny and only watch it for comedy reasons in crowded rooms at parties. Oh, and i've never looked at porn on-line.

Is this fucked-up?

p.s. i'm not joking

17:48 / 19.05.04

Nah, I was just messing about, Looby. I thought it was funny to see generalisations made about the psychology of people who don't have sex for spiritual or religious reasons in a thread where the premise is to rate ourselves on fuckedupness. The punchline being that they must win, without even having posted!

04:10 / 20.05.04

Dang! I didn't mean to start all of this up! And I just wanted to get laid.........

foot long subbacultcha

07:48 / 20.05.04

Fucked upness this week I'm willing to share:

1) Ran over a fox.
2) Received a speeding penalty notice. I don't even remember doing it. Tut tut.

Not sure how this rates on the points system.

08:20 / 20.05.04

Bloody hell - I'm so slow sometimes! New mantra: I shall read posts more carefully before replying (repeat to fade...)

09:08 / 20.05.04

maybe everyone could just post photos of themselves and a breif resume and the rest of us could decide how fucked up they were - we could call it "Am I fucked up or not"...

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:14 / 20.05.04

Or you could just go through the photos thread ticking off any that are still visible, like this:

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, oh God yes, maybe not, yes but in an amusing way, yes (shudder), yes but only on drugs, yes I think so, yes, yes, no, yes, yes, no, sweet Lord yes, a little, no (you're just rock'n'roll), yes, yes, not so much now, incredibly so, a world of bad yes you FREAK, yes, all these people are SO fucked-up it's not funny, not much, yes saddo, no, yes, it's page 10 and I give up.

11:34 / 20.05.04

Did you really do that?

That wee Scottish woman from "How Clean is your House" gives me the horn, does that count?

12:22 / 20.05.04

Bear, I think you've just won. Though you should have expressed it in numerical form.

12:36 / 20.05.04

um 40 probably... the mum in The OC too (although I've never actually seen the show)

No star here laces

15:19 / 20.05.04

Actually, I was just saying to someone today that Kirsten is way the hotttest thing in that show...

Apparently that actress used to be in Models Inc too!

15:25 / 20.05.04

number of boyfriends who wouldn't have sex with me, stating religous reasons, and then later came out of the closet: 1

number of boyfriends who wouldn't have sex with me, stating religious reasons, and are still in the closet: 1

number of boyfriends who wouldn't have sex with me because this was in grade school, but later turned out to be gay: 1

number of boyfriends i didn't mean to be involved with and then tried to have sex with me to prove they weren't gay, still suspect: 1

number of non-boyfriends i didn't mean to be involved with who tried to have sex with me to prove they weren't gay, still suspect: 1

number of girlfriends ever, having being a card-carrying bisexual since the age of fifteen: 1

number of girlfriends ever that were not a creation of Multiple Personality Disorder in one of abovementioned males: 0

***

(okay, okay: number of amazing women "not dated": 1 [current]. number of loving, long-term relationships with relatively sane, straight or nearly-straight amazing men: 2 [1 current]. But it looks really bad up until about now...)

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