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So, anyway, I finally gave in to my curiosity a few years ago and I bought a dirtbike.
I'd been watching the other kids who already had them and I was quite intrigued. Most of them looked like, well, morons. They'd get out on the tracks and they'd try these really ill-advised, complicated moves that they seemed to be making up while in mid-air and, sure enough, most of them lost control of the bike, sometimes getting really hurt in the process. But, in spite of that crowd, there was this cool and weird minority among them. Their grace and style was so affecting that I changed my mind about dirtbikes and decided to get into it myself.
I didn't regret it. As long as I stuck with the guys who knew what they were doing, it was a fun and invigorating experience. While this may seem like an odd thing to say about a dirtbike I think I even learned a thing or two about the world and myself from the experience.
I was right in the thick of my dirtbike enthusiasm when I met my friend, Grant. Let me tell you, Grant's a really cool guy but, more than that, he really knows his way around a dirtbike. You should see him out there! Not only has he mastered a lot of the cool stuff I already knew about, he comes up with stuff that never even occurred to me. He applies some of the stuff I've seen the others do with skateboards and BMXs that I thought would never work on our heavier dirtbikes but it's like he has the magic touch. The fact that he always shares how to do it with the rest of us is even better.
I know, I know, "Where am I going with all this?". Well, one day, I went out to the track and Grant was tooling around but when he sees me he stops and comes up to tell me something.
"Hey, check it out; I figured out something new we can do."
"Something new?" I said, "Cool. If it's anything like your other ideas, I'm all for it."
"Well, here's what you've got to do, bear with me a moment. First, you get a lot of torque before you hit the ramp; then, when you get in the air, you sort of wrap your leg around the handlebars and then you stick your hands behind the front wheel-(I'll spare you the details, you'd have to be into dirtbikes for it to be interesting; needless to say, it sounded a little crazy)-and then you land on a wheelie!"
This, I wasn't so sure about and I said, "I don't know, Grant. This sounds an awful lot like something those guys we always make fun of would try to pull." And he said, "I know, but trust me on this one."
I thought about it for a second and I finally figured I should go ahead and take the plunge, after all, Grant had tried crazy shit before and it had paid off then.
Needless to say, I soon found myself lying in a very painful crumple on the dirttrack. Shortly after that, I found myself in the hospital, recovering from a broken leg, when Grant came by to pay me a visit.
"Gee, Grant," I said, "I don't know why that didn't work. Maybe when I'm as good with a dirtbike as you are, I'll finally figure it out."
"Oh, that?" He said, "That wasn't supposed to work. You see, I came up with that trick when I was watching those other guys. And I thought to myself 'How can I really drive home the point about what a bad idea it is do to dirtbike tricks like that?' when suddenly I understood it perfectly. What I should do is come up with a trick like theirs only moreso. One that would point out by it's very existence, what a fatuous, idiotic way of thinking that is by exemplify all of it's idiocy and fatuity! And sure enough it really WAS a stupid trick!"
Oh well, I'm sure Grant had a good reason for what he did, I just hope he sticks to good dirtbike tricks from now on. |
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