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Fucking your clone..

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The Prince of All Lies

21:40 / 25.03.04

I was talking to some friends once and someone asked the most meaningful, disturbing question I've ever heard: If you fuck your clone, would that qualify as masturbation?

I've pondered this for a long time, but I haven't reached a satisfying answer. I have more questions, though: If you fuck your clone, does that mean you're gay or just narcissistic? And if your clone fucks you up your ass, is that self-loathing and masochism? And if afterwards you killed your clone, hacked it to pieces and made a mean shawarma out of it's flesh, is it cannibalism or self-mutilation?

What do YOU think?

22:34 / 25.03.04

Take it from me, if you fuck your clone, it means you're gay.

or so Rupert Murdoch said the other weekend

22:42 / 25.03.04

Christ, I'm gonna get sacked... What I meant to say was, it DOESN'T mean you're gay. Rupert, I didnae mean it, square go, ye radge

The Prince of All Lies

22:47 / 25.03.04

but if you fuck your clone while thinking of a member of the opposite sex? what then?
If what you said is true, regular masturbation would be kind of gay too because you're doing yourself...

ONLY NICE THINGS

22:49 / 25.03.04

You do,
And that's what really hurts,
You do it to yourself,
Just you,
You and noone else,
You do it to yourse-e-e-e-e-e-ee-lf

22:55 / 25.03.04

Does wanking mean you're gay? I mean, there you are, hand(s) on same-sex genitals, it's a bit poofy isn't it?

ONLY NICE THINGS

22:55 / 25.03.04

What if you just cuddle?

23:16 / 25.03.04

Oddly enough, we had a thread on this a while back... hold on... Here we go!

... bumping into yourself and deciding to go for it ...

beelzebub jones

23:49 / 25.03.04

clones don't just come out all growed up! and there is every chance they won't look a thing like you. and they're more like your twin. so if you fuck your clone too soon, you're a pederest. in the future gay couples will have clones for children, and they'll all go to church on sunday, worshipping oprah, they'll take communion which will be a most excellent futuristic ecstaxy, the cathedral will go black, a choir of a hundred donna summers will commence to wail while a pounding beat starts to shakin the foundation, the whole family will rip off their shirts and the next thing they'll know it'll be monday. and that's the truth.

The Tower Always Falls

04:31 / 26.03.04

Funny. This thread reminds me of that time I fucked around with this guy during a sorority formal on a pool table. The only real "boy-on-boy" action for this mostly hetero (discounting a few deep, toungue kisses and an unhealthy obsession for spanking ewan MacGregor like a naughyt puppy if I had the chance. Don't worry, my girlfriend have a pact that we can share him if that time comes...)

Then I relaized that he also had long hair, wore glasses, and was skinny, sarcastic, an slightly self-absorbed. So I'm not sure if I should count it as "experimentation" or just a really advanced form of narcisistic masturbation. I guess that's kinda belittling his role in the whole thing, as well as his humanity- but, after all, he was a carny.

God. I just admitted I got blown by a carny to a bunch of web-strangers.

05:49 / 26.03.04

I'd fuck my clone but I just know it would be crap.

The resistable rise of Reidcourchie

07:24 / 26.03.04

Clearly you're not gay if you fuck someone at a sorority initiation in fact that's the onyl time you can fuck another man in the arse and not be gay. Just good wholesome fun.

How do you cuddle your own genitals? I've been trying for the last 10 minutes and it's not working very well.

10:05 / 26.03.04

you guys all have clones and you haven't fucked them yet?!

I don't have one - but if I did I'm pretty sure we wouldn't want to bonk each other (man - I'm ugly), but if we did it wouldn't be wanking as the clone isn't "you" is it? - and after *not* nobbing him I'd go and do some crimes. Perfect alibi. Also you could do some extreme sports / liver damage and not worry about it as you'd have a transplnt donor on tap - a la "spares" by Micheal Marshall Smith.

10:37 / 26.03.04

Thraxx, it sounds to me like your 'friend' has been fucking hir identical twin, and is now just making excuses.

Jack The Bodiless

11:30 / 26.03.04

Clearly you're not gay if you fuck someone at a sorority initiation in fact that's the only time you can fuck another man in the arse and not be gay. Just good wholesome fun.

Leaving aside the question of why you don't seem to consider gay sex to be "good wholesome fun" - dude, just because you've fucked another guy (anytime anyplace anywhere) doesn't mean you're automatically gay. Life's a bit more complicated than that...

12:27 / 26.03.04

Can I just point out here that clones are from the fucking trashcan? They're the pits. Only losers with brain lesions like clones even a little bit. Consider:

v.

The Prince of All Lies

13:13 / 26.03.04

that's a really weird argument you got there, Qalyn...

I'd do me cause I dig myself, I'm a naughty guy, but only if the clone was exactly like me (not just physically). What I'm not sure is if my clone would like getting ass-banged or blowing my one eyed snake..I know I wouldn't do it to myself...so maybe the solution is a clone that's exactly like me but with no sexual restrictions whatsoever..like a gay version of me. Shagging him wouldn't make me gay, would it? He'd be the gay one, I'm just narcissistic

PS: If you could "synthesize" your feminine self (girl lithers should replace the previous with "male self") and screw it, THAT would be te pinnacle of fucking yourself, and it wouldn't be so gay...so yeah, I think I'll give my clone some huge tits and a mean pussy. But it'd still be me...sort of. More like a tranny me. Which wouldn't make me gay either. Just too self involved.

Lazlo Woodbine [some call me Laz]

13:32 / 26.03.04

If you would fuck your clone you need to consider what next?

Do you leave it at that, as a one night stand, therefore attempting to ignore your self for the rest of eternity, or, do you make a go of it, dating would be easy as you'd never run out of conversation topics, if like me you can talk bollocks for hours. However as the relationship gets into full flow, the arguments would get more and more heated and personal, as you both know all about each other and the areas, in your personal history, which really sting.
But there is a third and much scarier situ, you (the original) want to leave it there, but you (the clone) wants to take it futher, feels totaly rejected and just won't let it go. Then you're stuck being stalked by your self which would be a bugger to explain to the police.

13:35 / 26.03.04

For some reason, I find this thread incredibly distasteful. But, hey ho. In for a penny.

If you fucked your clone, would you call it?

13:36 / 26.03.04

VERY IMPORTANT POST

I have a clone.

I am identical twin.

I would not like to fuck my twin.

That would be gay-incest and extremely not nice.

13:40 / 26.03.04

Everyone knows that clones are rubbish, Qalyn. But does that disqualify them from fucking? would you rather fuck a robot than a clone? How sophisticated does a robot have to be to be fuckable?

13:45 / 26.03.04

For some reason, I find this thread incredibly distasteful. But, hey ho. In for a penny.

It's the rather brutal-sounding use of "fuck," I bet. Why can't you just make gentle narcissistic love to your clone, Thraxx?

Lazlo Woodbine [some call me Laz]

13:47 / 26.03.04

Well people fuck inflatable dolls with vibraters in them so, i guess that's as sophisticated as you'd need to get.

13:49 / 26.03.04

Personally, I find it distateful because I could actually do it.

I know, I know, I'm being a spoilsport.

14:03 / 26.03.04

I am identical twin.

Hmm, funny - you sound more like a robot than a clone, Bobossboy....

14:06 / 26.03.04

It's the rather brutal-sounding use of "fuck," I bet.

Spot on. That's just uncouth.

14:14 / 26.03.04

Well, I am a bit of a machine in the bedroom.

Know what I mean?

Ugh, horrid Boboss.

14:18 / 26.03.04

Bobossboy, you have my sympathies, pal. I'm revolted, too.

I think it's just fucking pathetic that people are even considering this. Todd, you may of course admit your degenerate predilection for clones or whatever, but some of us choose not to wallow in filth. People have sex with machines all the time! It's beautiful and pure and, in the right circumstances, pretty hot. Sex with clones will never be more than a lame and reaching narrative ploy by hack sf writers.

Thraxx, is there some part of my argument that needs clarification?

14:18 / 26.03.04

Many eons ago, there was a short story about a woman getting together with her clone (I think it was by Zelazny, but I'm not sure); it was published in Playboy so the allusions to sex were titillating and relatively tasteful... (or at least I thought so at the time!)

Personally, I think sex with my clone would be really hot. Stir a little bit of that near-telepathy that identical twins are supposed to have with an intimate knowledge of what feels good - we'd be spending more time in the bedroom than anywhere else for the first month or two!

Just out of curiosity, why does it matter if that (really fabulous) sex is "gay" or not?

14:20 / 26.03.04

God. I just admitted I got blown by a carny to a bunch of web-strangers.

Nothing to worry about. I mean, can any of us honestly say that we haven't been blown by a carny? Really.

14:22 / 26.03.04

Ack!! The horrors of crossposting! I didn't mean to imply that Zelazny was a "hack sf writer."

Qalyn - read much in the way of vintage Playboys?

14:23 / 26.03.04

Never!

14:24 / 26.03.04

Okay - similarly, I used to chat to an ex about swapping bodies for the day as I'd quite like to see what it's like to be a girl - just for the day like - I'm not talking forever - BUT when the question of sex came up, what would you do? I mean there you are in the body of the opposite sex, but still attracted to the opposite sex. So without going into a "bodily gay" (forgive the awful use of English) tryst, then you would have to bonk someone of the opposite body gender which would be the same as your actual real gender. Clear?

In this case the only person of that gender I would resort to sleeping with is me - ie the body of myself that my ex is inhabiting.

(I think we all have a bit too much time on our hands!)

14:28 / 26.03.04

NEVER NEVER NEVER!

14:37 / 26.03.04

ummm... guilty - today's a holiday....

BUT when the question of sex came up, what would you do? I mean there you are in the body of the opposite sex, but still attracted to the opposite sex. So without going into a "bodily gay" (forgive the awful use of English) tryst, then you would have to bonk someone of the opposite body gender which would be the same as your actual real gender. Clear?

The only thing that's not clear is the assumption that attraction is entirely in the mind without being influenced by the "host" body.

As I see it, you're asking which is worse - to bonk somebody who's the same gender as your (borrowed) body, or the same gender as your personality. How upset is the true "owner" of that borrowed body going to be if you've "popped her cherry" with another girl?

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