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A mysterious stranger approaches you and says...

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22:58 / 08.03.04

i'm late to the thread but cheers bizunth....gratefully received,i'll try not to spend them all at once,if you can spare it ,next time post a fiver...fuck it go for broke and post a ten spot

22:59 / 08.03.04

BARBETEXT ADVENTURE

It is mid-afternoon.
You see three coins lying on the floor.
The coins ooze evil.
Do you pick up the coins?

>

23:01 / 08.03.04

>inventory

23:05 / 08.03.04

You open your satchel of infinite space. Inside it you see:
- A wombat, asleep
- A short length of string
- A half-empty pack of gum
- One (1) bullet
- A map of outer Basingstoke
- Some of that weird grey fluff that always seems to accumulate in the bottom of bags that see regular use and that you can never clean out in its entirety.

The three coins are still lying there, still oozing evil. What do you do?

>

02:23 / 09.03.04

> pick up coins

(as pound coins are THE best coins in the world. They really have the best shape, size and weight of all coins out there. Very pleasing to handle...)

The Tower Always Falls

05:26 / 09.03.04

>give coins to wombat

08:22 / 09.03.04

The wombat is asleep, and fails to notice your attmepts at bribery.
The three coins are now in your hand, oozing evil as before.
What do you do?

>

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

10:36 / 09.03.04

>cry like girl

10:40 / 09.03.04

The indifferent wombat, bag fluff, indecision about the three evil oozing coins, in fact life and everything in general finally cracks your iron resolve and the tears gush from your eyes like Niagara Falls during snowmelt. Snot dribbles from your nose like a cheap Ghostbusters effect. You'd wipe it away but you don't seem to have a tissue, nor is there anyone around who could offer one.

Your face is covered in tears and snot. Your eyes are reddened from the intense, soul-clearing bawler you've just thrown.
The three coins are still in your hand, oozing evil as before.
What do you do?

>

unheimlich manoeuvre

13:12 / 09.03.04

> use coins to acquire pie

13:55 / 09.03.04

There is no pie. In fact, there is no pie-man, no pie-stall or indeed anything that could be used to acquire pie in any form.
The three coins are getting sweaty, which just adds to the evil they are oozing.
What do you?

14:11 / 09.03.04

> go to outer basingstoke.

The Return Of Rothkoid

13:20 / 10.03.04

Syntax error.
>

13:30 / 10.03.04

> look at map of outer basingstoke

14:00 / 10.03.04

You see Outer Basingstoke, represented in pleasant pastel shades of brown, blue, green, yellow and red. The network of roads, alleys and buildings is almost hypnotic in its complexity. One corner of the map has been torn off. The centre of the map is blank.

The three coins are still in your hand, still oozing evil.
You notice that it is starting to get dark.
What do you do?

>

17:33 / 10.03.04

> flip coins

17:39 / 10.03.04

The coins tumble straight up from your hand...a brief and hectic introduction to the basics of projectile physics later, they roll ro a stop on the sidewalk beside you. They continue to ooze evil.

It has gotten quite dark now.
You see something stirring in the gloom, but it's hard to tell how far away whatever it is could be.
Maybe you should consider moving somewhere better lit? An investigation of your surroundings might be advisable.
What do you do?

>

08:09 / 11.03.04

> investigate further (dammit!)

08:53 / 11.03.04

You are standing on a sidewalk in the lee of a large, red-brick, anonymous office building with no obvious windows or doors. The building stretches ahead and behind you. There is a street lantern just ahead, but it's burnt out...as are the other two you can just about make out in the gloom. on the other side of the street is another enormous office building, but you think you can make out some sort of opening in its brick exterior. along the sidewalk is a gutter, unusually wide, cluttered with all kinds of detritus. There are three coins on the sidwealk, oozing evil.

The thing you see in the gloom looks like its coming closer. It also looks rather large.
What do you do?

>

10:38 / 11.03.04

>turn to run

Before you can move, the police officer grabs you by the shoulder and asks you what you think you're up to at this time of night, and who do think's going to clean up all this evil you've been oozing all over the pavement? I mean, look at it, it's oozing right into the road - somebody could really do themselves an injury on that. And what if tomorrow morning some little child is walking to school and he slips up and gets evil all over his face? huh? huh? You hadn't thought of that, had you, you bloody oaf!

13:44 / 11.03.04

The policeman looks quite irate and impatient (not to mention large...you never knew they fell from the trees that big). A response is clearly called for.

The darkness is now quite complete and your surroundings are cast into deep shadow, with the tops of the office blocks silhouetted against the orange glow cast by the lights of the city beyond. The three coins still lie at your feet, oozing evil.

What do you do?

>

13:52 / 11.03.04

> knock his helmet off and punch him in the goolies!!

13:56 / 11.03.04

You attempt to reach up and knock the policeman's helmet off. He is a lot quicker than you think though, and before you can say 'grievous bodily harm' he's beaten you to the point where all that's left of you is a small smear on the sidewalk.

Your fairy godmother reanimates you an hour later (telling you that you have now only got 8 lives left). There is no sign of the brutal bobby, thank goodness, otherwise things seem to be just as they were before. However, you notice that the three coins have stopped oozing evil and now appear to be merely coins.

What do you do?

>

14:24 / 11.03.04

>Somehow my subconscious willed this thread to become a text adventure... And it was so. Next I'm going to kill those so-and-so's for pouring pig's blood on my prom dress...

Arfle barfle gloop. Try again.

14:26 / 11.03.04

>pick up coins!

14:30 / 11.03.04

Now that the coins have stopped oozing evil they are more than compliant, nestling happily in the depths of your satchel of infinite space.

You notice that the absence of sunshine is starting to have an effect on the ambient temperature. It is getting very cold, very quickly.

What do you do?

>

14:51 / 11.03.04

buy cheap cider with the coins

15:02 / 11.03.04

There are no shops on this street.

What do you do?

>

15:17 / 11.03.04

> walk until you find one. Convince the man in the shop that you're not a copper and that he can sell you cheap cider even though it's after 11. Give him the three coins that were formerly oozing evil, drink them whilst sitting in a doorway. Curl up for warmth. Mutter.

OOps - you've died of exposure. The end. Sorry Grey Area!

15:27 / 11.03.04

Your fairy godmother revives you an hour later, informing you that you still have 7 lives left. You are outside the shuttered boozer, it's really cold. There's an alley up the road. Nobody seems to be about.

What do you do?

>

15:38 / 11.03.04

squeeze the piss from soiled trousers into the empty cider bottle then put the lukewarm piss bottle up your jumper for warmth(very ray myers!) and head up the alley

19:23 / 11.03.04

Stinking of piss and cider you stumble into the alley. It's quite dark here, but in the cone of light that sweeps in from the road you see the usual alley accessories. Dumpster spilling trash, broken glass, a really scary looking cat and what looks to be a 1969 Ford Mustang with a broken window. From one wall of the alley there juts a fire escape, it's ladder dangling halfway to the ground, just out of reach.

What do you do?

>

21:21 / 11.03.04

>sit down have a long, hard think about my current position in life.

21:35 / 11.03.04

You consider your position. You stink of piss and cider, and your clothes have that crinkly feel to them that you remember from childhood as a result of pissing yourself. You have nothing to your name except for three pounds, a sleeping wombat and a handful of other assorted items. As far as you can recall, you have no home to go to in this city, you know nobody except for a very violent policeman and the cat that's staring you in the face right now (as well as the weirdo who's offer started you on this path). The bottle that was a source of warmth is starting to cool down and you're starting to feel the cold creeping in. All in all, it doesn't look to good, but there's a world of opportunity right here in this alley. You realise that you could have a look in the dumpster for something to keep you warm, or look in the car...maybe it still works and you'd get a form of transport. With some creativity there's a chance you could get onto the fire escape. Who knows what could happen? Right now your life is shit. In an hour it might be better.

What do you do?

>

Less searchable M0rd4nt

22:17 / 11.03.04

>attempt to use my shovel-like front paws to burrow under the dumpster

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