I will not rest until 'Pick it up, it's yours' is the new 'All Your Huggles Are Blah Blah fishcore.'
Actually, maybe I'll just have a little nap beforehand.

Grey Area

20:12 / 08.03.04

Is this a chain letter? If I fail to 'pick it up' will there be repercussions of a supernatural and/or punitive financial nature? What are the advantages of 'picking it up'? Why are there three...is that a quasi-religious symbol-type thing? How did the stranger choose me? Why does only one show heads? Are they real or are they just very realistic foil-covered chocolates? Am I allowed to 'pick it up' with my fingers like I pick up my change at Tesco's or is there a picker-upper ritual involved?

...by the time you finish asking all the questions that make you wary of the stranger, questions rooted in the anxieties spawned by our incresingly litiginous culture, the stranger moves on. And it's then you realise you really did need three quid for the laundromat. Damn.

Olulabelle

20:24 / 08.03.04

And the moral of this story is; don't engage yourself in internal debates on why strangers are offering you money, because your higher consiousness thought path means you lose out in the end.

My advice is to choose the no-brainer, easy access route, don't think at all and just take the money and run.

Grey Area

20:33 / 08.03.04

But what if the stranger turns out to run faster than you? A stranger offering money is up to something...mark my words. This thing smells like a dead rat. I'm sure Claire Short is involved somehow.

sleazenation

20:41 / 08.03.04

'pick it up, its yours, but I will have to break both your legs if you try and take it home'

Olulabelle

20:48 / 08.03.04

A stranger offering you money may very well be up to something, but if you nick it off him and leg it, hard, you'll be three quid richer because you can run faster than anyone when you have done something wrong.

And Claire Short is certainly not involved in anything which is offering you money. You have been sadly misinformed/fallen for the lies.

Grey Area

21:02 / 08.03.04

But he's offering the money...how can it be called nicking if someone's offering it to you? He's probably nicked it off someone else and is trying to dispose of the evidence. Yet another reason to carry a latex glove and ziplock baggie for evidence handling/storage wherever you go.

Maybe he's trying to pawn them...they do seem to be arranged in the traditional pawn shop symbol configuration:

Bed Head

21:04 / 08.03.04

This reminds me of walking past one of those horrible sports stores that are always full of overfed sporty types, and seeing a shiny pound coin on the floor and trying to pick it up without breaking stride, because I was feeling cooool; only to find it was actually superglued to the pavement and ending up tripping over in the street. At which point a pack of bemuscled sporty types waiting in the store window started laughing their heads off like it was the funniest practical joke *ever* in the history of the universe and I was the biggest chump they’d caught all day. Which I probably was, to be perfectly honest.

Bastards. Also, I think that the second before I fell over, I’d looked really, really pleased to have found a pound coin. That’s just so not the way to be cool. But at least I learnt my lesson. I’m not going to be duped by this thread.

Olulabelle

21:06 / 08.03.04

No, no, he's not offering it, because it's a trick.

He wants something from you in return. Like a laugh if it's glued to the floor, or a commitment to sign your life away to some ungodly God, or just your conversation because he is lonely and bored.

And carrying a latex glove and ziploc baggie is tantamount to announcing "I am Hannibal Lecter, stop me if you dare." I should ditch them if I were you.

Grey Area

21:25 / 08.03.04

From experience I can say that the only conversation you will start by handing out money in the street is a fairly one-sided discussion of what constitutes a public nuisance with the lovely boys (and girls) in green/blue. This guy offering money seems fairly intelligent (use of pound coins rather than paper money, symbolic arrangement of same, etc etc) so I doubt that's his motivation. Is it possible to entrap someone's soul in three pound coins?

I like my glove and ziplock baggie...and I am also certain that there are social situations where sending out the message that you are Hannibal Lecter can come in handy.

Olulabelle

21:31 / 08.03.04

Expand!

Like...when?!

I am utterly convinced that it is totally possible to trap a person's soul in three pound coins. Look at the Queen. She is the embodiment of the sour faced Granny depicted on the things. Before she was designed that way she could very well have been nice and tickled grandchildren and knitted bad jumpers and everything.

Grey Area

21:42 / 08.03.04

Expand on what? The time when I tried to give away a fiver and ended up with the grey-haired harridan who runs the luggage store calling the cops and having me moved on because I was causing a public nuisance and I ended up discussing the whole issue for nearly fifteen minutes with the two officers who showed up which nearly gave her a heart attack (having the police in front of her nice little shop berating a layabout)? OK, well, one day...oh. Never mind.

So are we agreed he's trying to trap your soul in those three pound coins? And does this mean your soul would be in there with a teeny-tiny piece of the queen's soul? Wow. Imagine the conversations you could have...

Olulabelle

21:58 / 08.03.04

Um... Like, "How are the Corgi's? Your Royal Highness."

Scintillating.

No I mean expand on how you could ever have been in a situation where posing as Hannibal Lecter could have come in handy?

Grey Area

22:02 / 08.03.04

Well...I haven't actually been in any situations where posing as Hannibal Lecter would be an advantage. But maybe an examination-type setting? Where casually displaying your H.L. accessories would convince the panel that not passing you would result in their consumption? I don't know...I really didn't think that one through very well.

I'd start my conversation with 'So, how about those Diana tapes?'.

Olulabelle

22:08 / 08.03.04

Well then you would be beheaded.

And your ziploc baggie and latex gloves would be saved for posterity as evidence of your treason.

Grey Area

22:10 / 08.03.04

The thought of my latex glove and ziplock baggie being mounted on a nice maple plaque and displayed for all eternity amuses me.

Eloi Tsabaoth

22:13 / 08.03.04

I'm posting from within the 3 pound coins. We have Broadband now.

Grey Area

22:15 / 08.03.04

Is the queen in there with you?

Eloi Tsabaoth

22:17 / 08.03.04

Yes. Yes she is. Come and see. Pick 'em up... Theyyy'rreee Yoooouuuurrsss....

Grey Area

22:19 / 08.03.04

While an eternity in a pound coin with broadband and the queen is tempting, wouldn't it get a bit crowded in there? No offense or anything, but I like my personal space.

Eloi Tsabaoth

22:29 / 08.03.04

Have you any idea how small a soul is?
see this------>.
To a soul, that dot is the size of a galaxy. And the more evil you've committed, the more shrivelled your soul becomes. So there's plenty of room!*

*Biting anti-royal satire.

Grey Area

22:32 / 08.03.04

Hmm...I guess we would have to be very careful with the hoover then ('Aww Biz! That's the thrird time this month you've sucked up the queen!').

Olulabelle

22:39 / 08.03.04

But haven't we already established that the Queen's soul has only been stolen by virtue of being depicted on a one pound coin.

Her soul is actually completely gone as a result of appearing on the coins, and she is so evil and not lovely-Granny-like that she has disappeared into the nothingness.

Which is a situation surely only exacerbated by the person bearing the coins and therefore the tiny soul in the coins is not her, but you.

Eloi Tsabaoth

22:40 / 08.03.04

Ah, the hilarious hijinks and madcap slapstick antics. Like Terry and June if June was the Queen's soul and Terry was in fact two different souls, and it took part inside three cursed pound coins.

Eloi Tsabaoth

22:41 / 08.03.04

Ah olulabelle, you are clearly unaware that the Queen and I swapped souls five years ago for a dare, and so I am she and she is me and you are me and we are all together.

Grey Area

22:42 / 08.03.04

Exactly! Just like that, but different in a subtle, can't-quite-put-my-finger-on-it kind of way. And once you put your finger on it you get sucked right into the merry three-coin-condo.

Eloi Tsabaoth

22:49 / 08.03.04

Dude, Three Coin Condo rocked. And then they got all popular after that number one and I didn't like them so much. But then their next single flopped and I thought they rocked again. And then they broke up and now I like Hairy Baby.

Grey Area

22:51 / 08.03.04

Hairy Baby? Aren't those the guys who headhunted the base player from Cream-Filled Donut and went on to record that epic series of albums inspired by the novels of Franz Kafka? They weren't nearly as good as Three Coin Condo! TCC had sublime melodies, engaging vocals and the extensive use of power tools as instruments.

Grey Area

22:56 / 08.03.04

**** OFF TOPIC TANGENT ****

It has been brought to our attention that this thread is lacking pie. The management have taken steps to address this issue. Therefore:

We now return you to our regularly scheduled thread.

Eloi Tsabaoth

22:57 / 08.03.04

Of course, TCC were named after the ill-fated 'Three Days of the Condor' prequel 'Three Coins of the Condo'.
Oops, looks like you dropped a small quantity of money. Sterling coins, I believe, a quarter-dozen of them.
PICK
IT
UP
IT'S
YOURS

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