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I'm very glad you asked that, 40%. While I am always on the lookout for new ideas, I would like to take this opportunity to outline some of the fundamental premises of my philosophy.
1. I will abuse the word "philosophy".
2. I will withdraw from Afghanistan and Iraq, focusing all of America's martial (and marital) resources on the obliteration of the most dangerous rogue nation in the world: Self-Awaria. This louse-ridden crime-hole has undermined our God-derived standards and values for a bit too long, with just a smidgeon above the usual amount of impunity, and furthermore has a lousy exchange rate. While this horrible eyesore and economic pain in the ass is known to be extensively armed, its military establishment is comprised mostly of Pussies, a vocal ethnic minority of Self-Awaria. This should make it relatively cheap and easy to dominate.
3. I will create new industries which will create new jobs.
4. I am against reproductive rights. Just think how many of the world's problems would've been solved long ago if our selfish ancestors had only given up this pernicious habit.
5. I will shrink the defecit by instituting an unprecedented new tax: a clone tax. The clone tax will be offset by a "robate", a rebate for robots. The logic behind this bold fiscal initiative is that clones suck, while robots are almost always cool. I want to encourage Americans, and all of America's allies, to build robots, not clones. You know I'm right.
6. I will do Good, and punish Evil.
I welcome any questions, and further nominations. Frankly, I'm a little disappointed. On the Barbelith I remember, you'd have climbed a broomhandle to nominate each other for posts in my government, rather than tooting your own horns. Have you no shame, Barbelith? |
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