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Anal Sex Question

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03:40 / 21.12.03

So assuming neither party has any STDs, are there risks involved in unprotected anal sex? It seems like it would be kinda dirty... possibility of infection etc... but then I figure we've been fucking ourself up the arse since long before we invented condoms and that.

Matthew Fluxington

18:45 / 21.12.03

Most anything you might want to know about the subject is covered here. Read up, and be informed.

05:26 / 22.12.03

Hey, cheers for that.

Matthew Fluxington

11:54 / 22.12.03

No problem. To quickly answer your question: unprotected anal sex is one of the highest risk sexual practices, and it's a good idea to always use a condom when you're doing it.

17:57 / 24.12.03

Good lord. Who would have thought there'd be so much to write about something so ugly.
Other than Jordan.

07:39 / 26.12.03

What's so ugly about it, gingerbop?

I guess you must really dislike Jordan to start insulting her publicly and without provocation... Unless you were incautiously alluding to the sorry state of the Middle East or something, I don't know.

21:07 / 27.12.03

Just that anal sex isnt really something that particuarly turns me on, thats all. Same goes for Jordan.

nedrichards is confused

22:07 / 27.12.03

The Queen of Jordan is quite the dish though.

01:10 / 28.12.03

And so it came to pass that Barbelith did get icky feelings over a relatively straight form of sexual activity. The end.

ONLY NICE THINGS

12:02 / 28.12.03

Well, no. *Gingerbop* got icky feelings, and Gingerbop is not Barbelith. I'm not sure whence her objection comes, but I'm sure we have plenty of people on hand to explain the virtues of such forms of naughting.

13:35 / 28.12.03

Can't imagine it not being painful... is that some of the attraction?

14:35 / 28.12.03

Really, its only painful if you're not doing it right.

18:08 / 28.12.03

Christ, Im really sorry everybody, I will express no further opinions of my personal choice, if they dont fit in with everybody elses; I'll hide in a cupboard all day. Either that, or in the what's your kink thread, or perhaps the whats not your kink thread.

solid~liquid onwards

18:15 / 28.12.03

so it came to pass that someone on barbelith was chastised for holding an individual preference and opinion.

(i dont particularily want a willy up me bum either)

19:42 / 28.12.03

Well, no, the problem that I have with the post is that it's not actually written as 'holding an opinion'. Anal sex is ugly. Full stop. No explanation, see? Then the clarification that it's ugly because gingerbop doesn't get on with the idea. In a thread where somebody's asked for information on the subject, it doesn't strike me as an entirely useful contribution. It's a bit like those posts that you see exclaiming that X is sick, or wrong.

Example: I start a thread asking for advice on places to visit while I'm on holiday in Germany. A later post in the thread tells me that "Germany is shit." I ask why. I get the reply "Because I don't like it."

22:56 / 28.12.03

I'm not convinced that the threadstarter is entirely sincere. I may be wrong, and apologies if I am, but it seems worth saying.

Also, while I understand what you are saying E Randy, I think you may be being a little bit uncharitable to gingerbop, who in turn is being a touch defensive. Well, no real harm done, and still plenty of scope to talk about anal sex. Or not.

23:58 / 28.12.03

You're probably correct in all of that, Lurid, in which case apologies to gingerbop for the tone of my post. Just getting a little tired of alternatives to the norm being dismissed out of hand.

Disco is My Class War

01:56 / 29.12.03

The wisdom of unprotected bumsex really depends on how much you trust your partner in sexcrime. If you're in a long-term relationship and you know your partner a) has been tested for all the things ze should have been and b) isn't sleeping with anyone else, or at least unprotected with anyone else, then do it. But be careful. Use a lot of lube: the more lube you use, the less likely you are to tear delicate membranes. And the pain can so be part of the pleasure.

And gingerbop, this thread isn't about kink or personal preference: someone was asking for information. Why don't you start a new thread on 'what's not your kink'? Here's my contribution: people who are so anxious about so-called "abnormal" sexual practices that they feel obligated to attest to their disapproval of, or personal antipathy towards, said practices any time the subject is raised.

Not terribly sexy, I'm afraid.

(Apologies if this sounds bitchy. But I don't like penis-vagina sex. If I mentioned that every time it was raised on this board, I would be a) facing a mean task and b) boring as shit. Comprende?)

10:37 / 29.12.03

Hang on a second. Unless I missed a slew of deleted posts, Gingerbob didn't attest disapproval of anal sex, she didn't suggest it was an "abnormal" sexual practice, nor for that matter did she say it was 'shit'. She said she thought it was ugly.
Although that might be considered off-topic on the basis that it isn't a response to the particular question asked in the first post, this is the Conversation, and the same could be said of every post other than Matthew's. Particularly when you consider that Snoody Snu asked nothing about comfort or STDs, and, if we're going to approach his request narrowly, seems to be interested in the health considerations of fucking oneself up the arse anyway.

ONLY NICE THINGS

16:05 / 29.12.03

She said she thought it was ugly.

Well, no. She said it *was* ugly. Big difference. She only subsequently said that she personally was not turned on by it; her first post was an absolute statement, not an opinion. Being able to understand that some sexual practices may not be to your taste without them actually being sick and wrong is a very good place to be, and I'm sure that is where Gingerbop is; her phrasing was, however, indelicate, and she is now being a big drama queen. It's a basic reading and writing comp issue.

17:03 / 29.12.03

Jesus. Everyone, step. Away. From. The. Thread.

Please, this thread (sincere or not) was done and dusted in the first two posts, everything after that was surely just so much fluffy Conversation free-for-all nonsense. As a subject, a thread in Head Shop or Laboratory would get very different responses. Gingerbop’s post was what it was, big drama queen she is and all, but was surely allowed to stand because you all know her. Even as a relative newbie, I see E Randy and G/Bop as proper old school Barbelith stalwarts. If some unknown user had popped up with GB’s post, it would surely have been excised, and perhaps rightly so. The fact that she is known to all and sundry means she has been allowed some leeway, but also means that you could have sorted out these differences between yourselves, right? You’re all right. Now please leave it alone, it's getting silly.

ONLY NICE THINGS

17:13 / 29.12.03

Posts are very rarely excised for content on Barbelith, Bed Head, and we don't have meetings of all the old-school members every week for Vimto and sorting out, so I'm not quite sure what you have in mind with "you could have sorted out these differences between yourselves". If an unknown poster had posted the same statement, they would probably have found themselves asked to explain it and/or criticised for the implications of that statement, just as Gingerbop has been. There's more on how moderation functions in the FAQ.

17:30 / 29.12.03

Being able to understand that some sexual practices may not be to your taste without them actually being sick and wrong is a very good place to be, and I'm sure that is where Gingerbop is

I'm sure you're sure of this, Haus; it's just that others seemed to be less confident.
Saying 'X is ugly' rather than 'I think X is ugly' might rile those of us who think X is rather lovely, and her 'I'm off down the garden to eat worms' histrionics when it did smacked of petulance (knowingly, it seemed to me). But she was *just* being indelicate, and she quickly qualified it as being a personal opinion. Colouring her as a poster who registers a disapproval of or antipathy towards anal sex 'every time the subject is raised' sounded harsh to me, and a misrepresentation. It was that, rather than her being asked to expand on her position, that concerned me.

17:46 / 29.12.03

"I'm not convinced that the threadstarter is entirely sincere. I may be wrong, and apologies if I am, but it seems worth saying."

So: you're needlessly offensive, then apologetic in case you're being needlessly offensive... Why was that worth saying, exactly, Lurid? Still, apology accepted and all.

I was just curious. Penis-vag sex feels better without condoms - I was wondering whether anal sex was the same, but the idea of trying it got me a bit squeamish - and so I asked here if there were any serious grounds for that squeamishness. Ta.

18:36 / 29.12.03

Well I think it's disgusting.

Tryphena Absent

19:42 / 29.12.03

And I'd like to be the first and possibly the only person here to take the pleasure of saying shut the fuck up you giant twat.

19:52 / 29.12.03

Would it be off-topic to poll the (straight) men on how much of the appeal of anal sex is physical and how much is psychological (taboos, trust, etc)?

20:03 / 29.12.03

Sweet mother of fuck.

Matthew Fluxington

20:04 / 29.12.03

This is the worst thread ever!

Tryphena Absent

20:14 / 29.12.03

Bet it's not.

20:17 / 29.12.03

Its like a train wreck in here. People can't help but gawk and say foolish things.

Since the original question has been answered, can we just lock this one and move on now?

20:24 / 29.12.03

Up yours.

Matthew Fluxington

20:28 / 29.12.03

I suggest that we keep this thing going and see how much nuttier this thing can get. I mean, if we were going to lock it, it should've been after my second post in this thread. Since we've missed that chance, I say we should have fun with this and let entropy run its course here.

20:32 / 29.12.03

"Nuttier"?

Aaaah hah hah hah hah hah!

Gross!

ONLY NICE THINGS

20:41 / 29.12.03

We also don't usually lock threads because they contain disagreement or recrimination. Oddly enough, this thread seems to have a few people who want moderators to be a lot more proactive and moderate far more heavily. A topic for Policy and Help, perhaps....

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