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So, there's this girl...

 
  

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bitchiekittie
12:19 / 05.12.03
(::BARF:: I'm gross)
 
 
Squirmelia
12:41 / 05.12.03
Reidcourchie: We went to the pub at lunchtime, but he failed to drink anything with alcohol in, so I think it's a lost cause. Shall try to seduce the remote control into going somewhere dark instead, and shall spend the afternoon drunkenly stroking it.

Bitchiekittie: His mouth definitely needs that flavour of tongue in it. More people would eat tongue if it tasted of peppermint mocha, I'm sure.
 
 
Ex
12:48 / 05.12.03
Nor are there people who are out of your league, chances are they're thinking the same thing about.
Unless of course you look like you should be in a Lovecrafte story.


Dude! Never give up so easily. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu fhwoooaarrrr.
 
 
Morlock - groupie for hire
12:53 / 05.12.03
I must not obsess, must get some work done.
I must not obsess, must get some work done.
I must not obsess, must get some work done.
I must not obsess, must get some work done.
I must not obsess, must get some work done.
I must not obsess, must get some work done.
I must not obsess, must get some work done.
I must not obsess, must get some work done.
I must not obsess, must get some work done.
I must not obsess, must get some work done.

...shit, what was I doing again?
 
 
Bear
13:11 / 05.12.03
Seems all this Christmas kissing can be dangerous...

A fish factory worker almost died after a Christmas kiss at a works night out provoked a severe allergic reaction.
Jamie Stewart, 17, went into anaphylactic shock at the dance in Dingwall in the Scottish Highlands when he kissed his workmate Liza Macfarquharn under the mistletoe.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/3292015.stm

Yikes.....
 
 
bitchiekittie
13:17 / 05.12.03
squirmelia, keep at the coworker, that damned remote will never love you the way you deserve to be loved. you know, with hands.

today I have brought mistletoe for my friend in marketing to hang. I'd keep it myself but I fear for my safety around naughty retired partners.
 
 
Sax
13:18 / 05.12.03
Now that's what I call shell-shocked.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
13:31 / 05.12.03
You call buying mistletoe shell shocked, are you mad?

Squirm when you say you're going to try and seduce the remote control into going somewhere dark, what exactly do you mean. I just don't want you to break your remote is all.
 
 
Sax
13:41 / 05.12.03
Darn, Bitchiekittie squirmed her way between me and Bear.
 
 
Bear
13:50 / 05.12.03
Suits you sir...

So much love and flirting going on today, maybe this is the Barbelith office party...
 
 
Squirmelia
14:03 / 05.12.03
Bitchiekittie: I have noticed that co-worker has photos of what look like rocks attached to the veal-fattening pen. I am going to walk past them slowly and try to find out if there is anything about them that makes him seem more endearing.

Reidcourchie: I will only be able to see the true beauty of the remote control if I see it in the dark. Maybe I could carry it in a black plastic bag to the work Xmas party?
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
14:31 / 05.12.03
Oh good, that's considerably more wholesome that what I thought you meant, not to mention less wear and tear on the remote.

I think we should actually set an evening for the office party, set up a thread and get hammerred in front of our computers. That wouldn't even be remotely sad and pathetic. But then again this years Xmas Office party is just me and Mini Cthulu.
 
 
bitchiekittie
14:41 / 05.12.03
the filling in a bear and sax sammich? I can certainly think of a long list of worse things.

squirmelia - the weird ones are always the best. wait, I've forgotten to consider previously mentioned past dates before uttering those words. scratch it.

my office party will be me alone and feeling quite uncomfortable hanging out with married couples while dolled out in a lovely party dress that I feel like a fool wearing. I think I much prefer sitting in front of my computer, thanks.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
14:48 / 05.12.03
Covered in lemon curd?
 
 
bitchiekittie
15:03 / 05.12.03
what, the me sandwich, my weird dates, or the at-home office party?

in any event, I end up in lemon curd? I dunno, is this good or bad?
 
 
Squirmelia
15:25 / 05.12.03
Has Bitchiekittie ever gone on a date covered in lemon curd?
Has the girl that Reidcourchie asked out replied yet?

My co-worker's photos are not actually of rocks, but of skyscrapers. I am watching him chew his pen that has a company logo on it. The remote control is currently motionless.

My company don't allow anyone at their Xmas party apart from the people who work for them, so there won't be many married couples. I am not sure what to wear - maybe I should dress as a lemon curd sandwich?
 
 
Squirmelia
15:38 / 05.12.03
Oh gosh, co-worker has just told me that he is going to the Xmas party now, so I don't know whether to stick with my initial infatuation with him and try to buy something nice to wear at the weekend, or stick with the glow in the dark remote control who won't notice what I wear. Hmm.
 
 
Jack Vincennes
15:46 / 05.12.03
Bear in mind that the remote control is likely to be far, far less willing to get drunk than he is. And wouldn't the glow-in-the-dark aspect of things make the remote control a slightly creepy companion, eventually? Like it was always watching you with its array of little green eyes... just watching...
 
 
Bed Head
15:47 / 05.12.03
The remote control will never let you down. Will never disappoint you. Can be stuffed down the side of the sofa when you're sick of the sight of it. Glows in the dark.

Can you say any of these things about your co-worker? I think your choice is clear.
 
 
Squirmelia
21:17 / 05.12.03
I am not sure I have ever seen my co-worker in the dark, so I will give him a chance. If he does glow in the dark then I might contemplate veering away from the remote control for a few minutes, but if not, I shall not even consider it.
 
 
Papess
21:34 / 05.12.03
Strangely, everyone I have ever snogged that I was also working with at the time of said snogging, got either fired or mysteriously vanished.

I wish I was kidding.
 
 
sleazenation
14:49 / 06.12.03
went to my first office party that actually took place in the office the other day... and it lived up to every vile cliche of office partydom with the exception of photocopying bodyparts...

The horror, the horror.
 
 
bitchiekittie
22:06 / 06.12.03
my holiday party actually happens after the holidays - mid january. convenient, really.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
11:52 / 08.12.03
Posted by Squirmelia

Has the girl that Reidcourchie asked out replied yet?

Er no she never got back in contact. Still on the plus side she didn't call the police or anything.
 
 
Bed Head
12:39 / 08.12.03
But Squirmeia, what we all really want to know is how things worked out with the remote control. And whether your co-worker is able to glow in the dark.

Because I don’t have an office I insist that this thread be continued so I can pretend that I do.
 
 
Olulabelle
12:55 / 08.12.03
Ooooh, this thread is becoming a bit like a mini soap opera, I like it. Who did Squirmelia choose? Did Reidcourchie get the girl? Tune in tomorrow to find out.

And Bedhead, I don't have an office to go to either so I second you.

Reidcourchie, she might have changed her email address or she might be ill, or she might be out of the country, or...anything. There may still be hope. But if she did get your email I feel inordinately cross with her for not having the common courtesy to reply. I mean if she really wasn't interested she could have, at the very least, replied saying, 'Please go away you freak stalker'. Or something.
 
 
Squirmelia
13:22 / 08.12.03
I am still leaning towards the remote control, but will have to wait until Thursday for the work Xmas party, and after alcohol, before making this ever so important decision. Or I could always choose both, I suppose.

Maybe the girl who hasn't answered her email just can't find the right perfect words to send, so keeps rewriting a reply over and over again, before she will send it.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
13:30 / 08.12.03
I think you should dump the remote and go all out with push up bra and everything!

If this is an online office party than I dread to think what the real, live type is like. Erk, 4 and a half days to go til I'm initiated in to office partydom.
 
 
Bed Head
13:40 / 08.12.03
I hope that you take the remote control with you to the office party, perhaps with a little alcohol, the two of them might fight over you, thus making your choice easier. Either way, we’ll all be wanting closure on Friday in the form of a post detailing your office party in excruciating detail. Also, I hope you’ll be representing all of us without offices, and have an utterly fabulous party on our behalf. In return we’ll all drink a toast to your inner nerd by getting smashed in front of our computer screens on Thursday night, it’s the least we can do, really.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
13:51 / 08.12.03
Nobody'll mind if weep openly on Thursday night will they?

Originally posted bu Squirmelia

Maybe the girl who hasn't answered her email just can't find the right perfect words to send, so keeps rewriting a reply over and over again, before she will send it.

How many different ways is there to say 'Please go away you freak stalker'?

Perhaps if I sent her another e-mail saying that Barbelith demands an answer with a link to this thread......
 
 
Bed Head
14:15 / 08.12.03
Perhaps if I sent her another e-mail saying that Barbelith demands an answer with a link to this thread......

I'm sure that'll win her over, RRR. If not, all us cool kids will be having our own not-office party on Thursday night, right here!! I'm sure it'll be choc-full of gossip and sauce, but you gotta provide your own nibbles. And booze.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
14:28 / 08.12.03
Bagsy DJ.
 
 
Squirmelia
11:51 / 10.12.03
My teamleader seems to have stolen the remote control from me, where as the guy who sits two desks away from me seems to have injured his fingers (having a fight with the remote control, perhaps?). My work Christmas party is tomorrow in the "enchanted forest", and there will be asparagus there.

Reidcourchie: Any reply yet or are you still waiting?
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
11:59 / 10.12.03
I wouldn't describe it as waiting more a sort of assumption that she will not get back in contact.
 
 
Bed Head
13:18 / 10.12.03
I’m thinking of starting a companion thread for this one, about the people who work in shops that we’re secretly in love with. It’d allow those of us who office-less to post and make such things seem much more poetic and wistful and okay, instead of the dodgy obsessions you could interpret them as being. It could run and run as well, being updated according to how charmingly you’ve been shortchanged or whether the greengrocers across town has stolen your custom by deploying a rosy-cheeked tousle-haired Cornish lad wearing gloves with the fingers cut off.

(*Ahem* Which sometimes happens, so I’m led to believe)

When I worked in a shop I was very aware of my responsibility in this, of the role I was playing in the community as ‘young fella with a ready smile who sits by till but wears his uniform in slightly rebellious manner’, and since then I’ve noticed that every town has one. Nobody ever actually goes out with people who work in shops (except people who work in bookshops, but they are A Breed Apart, and don’t they just know it), but surely everybody crushes on them.

Er, or is it just me? Thoughts? Any demand for this, d’you think?
 
  

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