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So, there's this girl...

 
  

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NotBlue
22:23 / 03.12.03
a.k.a. why workplace infatuations will shoot you in the back.

So..Theres this woman at work, who I vaugely remember snogging very briefly last xmas, tonight for the first time in over a year i am alone with her, and, after a year of stolen looks ( obviously now, entirely in my imagination), and what do i get in a conversation about , for over the last x years how her and her partner have got along so well.

So, whats the point of this thread - none, but if you have had any kind of similar, please let loose and tell me I'm not alone.



vent your hearts out, they are not alone...
 
 
Linus Dunce
23:00 / 03.12.03
Duncan. Walk away. Snog someone else this Christmas.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
23:52 / 03.12.03
She fancies you but wants to stay faithful so she's warning you off before she does something stupid. Ignatius J is right, go snogging.
 
 
Sax
06:54 / 04.12.03
Snog a girl you don't really like at this year's Christmas party right in front of her.

Then, when a certain song strikes up (probably Mistletoe and Wine, or Pipes of Peace) you can look across the crowded dancefloor at each other, realise you were meant to be together, and walk slowly towards each other.

The girl you're snogging and the other girl's boyfriend will realise they actually fancy each other and get together, leaving you and girly a guilt-free chance to get together.

And shag the living daylights out of each other in a piss-stinking alleyway behind the pub where the Christmas do is being held. It'll be cold and you might come too soon. She might have bad breath and say weird stuff while you make love to her. What the fuck do you want? This isn't Notting Hill or Love Actually, you know. It's real life, son.

Hope you'll be happy together.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
07:01 / 04.12.03
Don't be so quick to... walk away. (Dance with her.)
She wants to rock your body: please stay. (Dance with her.)
 
 
Squirmelia
08:29 / 04.12.03
I am quite envious of your workplace infatuation, since I have been trying to develop one, just to make my time at work seem more exciting than it is. Earlier in the year, I wrote a Valentine to my set top box, but now I am contemplating trying to move my infatuations to human beings.

Unfortunately there is not anyone in my office that I could see myself actually becoming infatuated with if I left it to chance, so I am going to try to force myself to become infatuated with someone. I never thought I would have feelings for traffic lights, but I managed to, after a while, so I think that it must be possible.

The guy that sits two desks away from me and always wears black seems to be an adequate target. I shall try to sit next to him in boring meetings, and hope that the corner of his sleeve brushes against my arm, and that I suddenly feel thrilled to be in that meeting.
 
 
illmatic
09:10 / 04.12.03
I think Tryphen'a is on the money there.... Xmas parties are times for extra special public humilation though, so the question is will it be you and her this year or someone else?
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
09:18 / 04.12.03
I too am trying culminate an office romance, the problem is I work from home. It's just me and mini cthulu and mini cthulu just doesn't do it for me. Lack of an office romance is one of the reasons I spend so much time sat in front of my computer, naked, covered in lemon curd talking to you lot.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
09:44 / 04.12.03
Squirmelia, have you considered a Barbecrush? I hear they're very diverting.
 
 
Squirmelia
10:04 / 04.12.03
Barbecrushes, of course would be preferable, but might seem almost irrelevant when it comes to the work Xmas party? Unless I take a print-out, I suppose.
 
 
Sax
10:07 / 04.12.03
Perhaps we should set a date now for the Barbelith Virtual Christmas Party Thread.
 
 
Ariadne
10:24 / 04.12.03
Please tell me I don't have to find yet another secret bloody santa present. Though a Barbelith present might be quite interesting, I suppose.
 
 
Ganesh
10:24 / 04.12.03
Last Christmas you gave her your heart, but the very next day she gave it away. This year, to save yourself from tears, give it to someone special.

(Although not necessarily in the 'Special Olympics' sense.)
 
 
Whisky Priestess
10:40 / 04.12.03
Oh bless. That's always a toughie. I remember when I was a receptionist (and when, you may ask, ever wasn't I?) in Kensington and there were several different groups/people renting offices in the building. Not only was Jonathan Coe (novelist) a resident, which was slightly starstriking, but there was also a chap who ran a small, failing PR firm, whose business partner/bird had just left him and who had a thrillingly deep voice, for whose Starbucks-clutching entrance every morning I waited all of a flutter.

The point being, I probably spoke to this man about eight times in my entire life and was thrilled to the point of orgasm by him asking me if there was any post - so office crushes can be on literally anyone or anything (that saucy pot-plant beside the printer) and the more disproportionate they are, the better. If you find yourself sweating with excitement every time a certain random.stranger@yourworkplace.com whom you've never met emails you with the latest sales figures, that's a proper office crush. Tghey're not meant to be worked out IRL, so be proud!
 
 
We're The Great Old Ones Now
12:00 / 04.12.03
Torch the place, divert a river to cover the remains, build an island fortress in the middle of the raging torrent and situate your throneroom over the ashes of your coworkers. Then resurrect them one by one using dark rites, and sell the others to a Vodun-Yakuza Oyabun, but keep your scarily indestructible love caged using the hair of virgin nuns. Bind her in straps of unicorn skin and use the blessed waters of the river Jordan to cleanse the shadow from you both. Transcend the mortal existence, and remain as pure energy in the castle, eternal lovers coded into one another to the point where your identities are almost indistinguishable until some idiot sophomore summons you back to reality with a couple of bottles of whisky and an old magick book bought from a nickel and dime store. Take a terrible vengeance upon him and haunt the old railway line behind the hardware store until you are released by a plucky nine-year-old whose best friend is a talking dog, then reincarnate as mink and have sex until your next cycle of existence turns you into a couple of Italo Calvino characters and you are unleashed into a fictional universe in which she devours you in the form of an eagle and you love every minute of it.

Love is grand.
 
 
William Sack
12:03 / 04.12.03
Duncan, I don't know where you work, but if you take up Nick's suggestion you might want to run it past human resources first.
 
 
The Apple-Picker
12:19 / 04.12.03
*sigh*

There goes that dreamy Cash Jackson again.
 
 
bitchiekittie
12:34 / 04.12.03
reidcourchie gets my vote for "QOTD", but I'm far too lazy to dig that thread up, so I'll posion this thread with my rotting comments

also, I'm REALLY for office flings, even if they only happen in your head. my last two jobs were in tiny offices with unappealing coworkers, so that was a total no go for years. this job is mostly stuffy CPAs, but a fairly new guy has caught my eye. when he does stuff like snags my arm when he's talking to me or lingers in my office (despite my tendancy to continue keying with my back turned, quite rude but sometimes necessary), I get a giddy lower belly thrill. and the other day I had out of the blue naughty thoughts about another coworker (married, therefore offlimits) that make me feel silly every time I'm in a room with him now.

I don't necessarily want anything to come out of any workplace flirtation (or one sided lust), but it adds something fun to the workplace.
 
 
Sax
12:44 / 04.12.03
Be very careful with your office flings, though. I married mine.
 
 
Ganesh
12:54 / 04.12.03
'Dawn Brent', eh?
 
 
Sax
13:03 / 04.12.03
Yes, I had to have my ex-gf shipped out to another office to make way for my Machiavellian moves. It's great being middle management.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
13:26 / 04.12.03
What's QOTD? What've I done now?
 
 
bitchiekittie
13:34 / 04.12.03
quote of the day, goober. you've won a title!
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
14:16 / 04.12.03
I'm sorry folks, but you can QOTD Reidcourchie all you want, but Cash Jackson won this thread. We may as well lock it now.
 
 
bitchiekittie
14:22 / 04.12.03
cash is indeed quite nice. but reidcourchie has won both my love and my loyalty
 
 
bitchiekittie
14:23 / 04.12.03
REIDCOURCHIE ROOLZ!
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
14:53 / 04.12.03
Thanks Bitchie, very nice of you but Cash was funny.
 
 
bitchiekittie
14:57 / 04.12.03
so this fan shit obviously just isn't working for me.
 
 
ibis the being
15:29 / 04.12.03
I feel some sympathy for the girl. I had/have a fierce crush on a cowoker for months, with all the nervous laughter, blushing, wearing unnecessary perfume, dashing to the ladies room to check my hair of a born-again teenybopper. but I was convinced he was way to hot to ever be interested in little ole me. So I started seeing someone else. Alas, within weeks the coworker decided to reveal his crush on me, and ask me out, and we went out once - but I couldn't handle dating two men so I had to stick with the 'someone else' with whom things were already going well, being too old for 'the grass is greener.' Even so, it's a mild form of torture to see the coworker around the office these days.
 
 
gingerbop
19:45 / 04.12.03
Im going out with a guy in my workplace, but he's in a far away department so we never work together, and he didnt have a girlfriend. So basically, none of the problems afore mentioned.

However, almost the same thing as Ibis happened to me. This other guy, Rich, wayyyy too hot for me- well i'd had my eye on him a while. But then Alan comes along, and THEN rich decides to ask me out. Flattered though I was, I am Alanified.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
06:28 / 05.12.03
There is no such thing as a male who is to hot for you, believe me. Nor are there people who are out of your league, chances are they're thinking the same thing about.

Unless of course you look like you should be in a Lovecrafte story.

Actually as a result of this thread and inspired by Bitchkittie's devotion I've decided to ask a girl I use to work with out on a date. I've just sent her an e-mail now. She's going to say no, so expect me to be crushed a bit later on today. I've no idea why I'm doing this to myself, it's not like I've got the time today.
 
 
Sax
07:07 / 05.12.03
We shall, of course, expect a full transcript of the e-mail conversation today.

Hey, maybe this should be designated International Barbelith Ask A Colleague Out Day!
 
 
Squirmelia
12:10 / 05.12.03
Found out that the guy who sits two desks away from me has not got a ticket to the work Xmas party. He did say he might join the waiting list to see if he can get one, but I'm not sure I should take the chance, and might instead try to develop an infatuation for the remote control with glow in the dark buttons.
 
 
The resistable rise of Reidcourchie
12:12 / 05.12.03
Don't wait for the Christmas party, get him drunk and pounce on him, it's the only way to be sure, do it now!
 
 
bitchiekittie
12:18 / 05.12.03
I decided that my (single) coworker could do with a tongue in his mouth today. and mine tastes of peppermint mocha, so will do quite nicely.
 
  

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