BARBELITH underground
 

Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.


Underground > Conversation >

Barbelith #498

  
  

Page: (1)2

 
 
Matthew Fluxington
12:12 / 19.11.03
The concert is on today, folks! Rain or shine. And if you look out the window, you'll know that means, um, we're having the concert even though the weather sucks. Let's just hope we can get a good crowd, and that nothing bad happens.

As it stands right now, Flyboy is doing a DJ set at noon, Tryphena and her girls will be going on at 1:15, and Jermaine Jr. will start at 2:30. Any questions?

Let's do this, people! Let's do this for BARBELITH!
 
 
Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!
12:35 / 19.11.03
Oh god! I didn't know how late I was, I hope there's still time to fit in what I have planned... !

Rest assured I'm making my way there as fast as possible, with something that... wow, I mean... we could save the world right here.

If this doesn't make people care, no-one will...

Ok, but someone has to help. We forgot to bring his pants, so can anyone go and buy some giant gold pants?

You know it, I'm bringing you...

  
 
Olulabelle
12:59 / 19.11.03
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
13:07 / 19.11.03
Wait, what time am I on in GMT hours? I have all the MP3s cued up on my computer, and I've hacked into the Pentagon and repositioned a missile defence satellite so I can bounce the live streaming music from here, off the satellite, to the sound system on stage at your location. I have to be careful though, because if I hit the wrong key I could easily fire off a low-level nuke in the direction of Prospect Park. Let's hope that doesn't happen!

Okay, so I'm going to start drinking now to get me "in the zone" for my set. I've just poured myself a large JD & coke. I reckon I'll start off with something slow and atmospheric: Notorious B.I.G.'s 'Somebody Gotta Die'.
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
13:13 / 19.11.03
This reminds me of the time I was walking down the street, and I saw MEGATRON!!!!!!! And I'm not talking about the inferior dinosaur or tank versions here, I mean the original badass Walther PPK version!!!!!!! He was destroying a youth centre so me and my good buddy MR T tag teamed his sucka ass!!!!!!! I rabbit punched him so hard he exploded!!!!!!!!! then hannibal drugged Mr T's milk and we all laughed!!!!!! Then I had to fight an army of ZOMBIE BARBARIANS lead by LENIN and CHAIRMAN MAO. But I beat them all with my ninja skills!!!!!! I punched every single nerve ending on Chairman Mao's body and he exploded!!!!!!!! Then KEN from FIST OF THE NORTH STAR appeared and challenged me but I beat his punk ass down. Then superstar rapper 50 CENT came up and was all like "yo radiator, you be some fresh shit, you rhymes be wicked tight" so we bust out some PHAT RHYMES, it was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
 
The Apple-Picker
13:21 / 19.11.03
This doesn't sound anything like that, Radiator. You're silly.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
13:21 / 19.11.03
Is Radiator okay? He's totally flipping out. I think that maybe the Mob Hackers have scrambled his computer with their hacker virus...

Flyboy, all of my times are EST. Brooklyn time!
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
13:28 / 19.11.03
The only time I've ever been in trouble with the mob was when the kids from Bugsy Malone tried to kill me!!!!!!! but I used my awesome Matrix Sk1llz to dodge all the pie they were shooting at me it was rad!!!!!! then I punched their secret pressure points and their heads exploded!!!!!! it was awesome!!!!!!! then I had to fight some pirates, but it was OK because me and my homie COREY FIELDMAN were packing some wicked glocks we laid their punk assess down!!!!!! Corey took one in the chest from the head pirates gat and didn't make it!!!!!! So now I always must write Burbs slash in his honour where tom hanks realises his true feelings for the creepy ginger kid and they make out!!!!!!! then I went on a crazy adventure with Micheal Kight and K.I.T!!!!!!!! But that's a story for another time.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
13:34 / 19.11.03
Guys, I think we have a problem. Theo just ran a diagnostic on Radiator's posts, and apparently the data signature has been corrupted. In other words....that's not really Radiator! Barbelith's defenses have been compromised! The hacking has begun! The Mob Hacker's nanocomputers are reshaping the code matrix of Barbelith as we speak, and who knows how long it will be before all that is left of this place will be some lesbian downloads and a computerized slot machine!
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
13:38 / 19.11.03
CAUGHT UP.

  
 
whisperingfist
13:39 / 19.11.03
I, too, am wicked mad at slot machines.

Crazylove.
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
13:51 / 19.11.03
Dude!!!!! all this spy stuff reminds me of when I had to team up with JAMES BOND to stop SHREDDER from stealing all the rubies in the world in order to concoct some unweildly cliched and tiresome scheme to kill the ninja turtles or something!!!!!!! but anyway I challenged him to a DANCE OFF and won because it wan't me, it was crazylegs crane in drag like that breakdancing move at the end of Flashdance.

Anyway basicaly I taught that James Bond kid a lot of stuff.
 
 
rizla mission
14:09 / 19.11.03
Hang on.. the concert's today? Today's Wednesday.. I'm sure you said Thursday.. shit..
 
 
Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!
14:10 / 19.11.03
Ok guys, I can't make it myself. I'm sorry. But look, as a last ditch attempt I've fed-ex'd the Hammer to you. He's kinda pissed, so you're gonna have to sooth him when he gets there. Also, he's got a really bad throat.. well... mouth. Ok, I punched him in the face because he wouldn't shut up. It's not my fault, seriously. Everyone on the subway was getting annoyed as well, and I had to take action. Some guy was threatening to get his "homies" and knife him if he didn't stop his preaching.

I figure flyboy's gonna have to play the Hammer tracks via his set up, and you just push him on stage. You could maybe string him up and use him like a puppet, he won't mind. Well he will, but this is for a greater good.

Also: I figure if we surround ourselves with lots of coloured types, the mob might get scared and decide we're not worth it!
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
14:16 / 19.11.03
PLEASE HAMMER DON'T HURT EM
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
14:20 / 19.11.03
I ain't playing no sodding Hammer, Suede, you worthless bigot. Sweet Jesus Christ.

SOrry, I'm a little tipsy already. I think I'm mixing these JD & cokes a little strong.

Anyway - I'm gonna follow the Biggie track with 'Betrayal' by Gang Starr featuring Scarface (a lost classic!) and then liven things up a bit with the Beastie Boys' 'Sabotage'.
 
 
whisperingfist
14:25 / 19.11.03
I'll say it again.

crazylove.
 
 
Murray Hamhandler
14:26 / 19.11.03
All right! I'm in NYC finally! I'm in some weird coffee shop that has computers, too. You New Yorkers have the strangest customs.

I think my medication has worn off completely now and I'm feeling very strangely indeed. But that's not going to stop me from seeing Jermaine, Jr.! Now I just need someone to tell me how to get to Prospect Park.

It really sounds like everything's coming together for you here, Flux! I have a good feeling about this benefit (despite the weather)!

P.S. Still no food, money, or place to sleep.
 
 
I'm Rick Jones, bitch
14:26 / 19.11.03
I remember when me and Hammer PILOTED VOLTRON to DEFEAT GODZILLA and SAVE JAPAN!!!!! Hammer was very cool, he had a lot of wisdom to give to me!:

"stay in school"

"keep away from crack"

"take your hands off my ass"

"no, seriously"

Me and Hammer go way back, we're buds!!!! he also wrote that cool adams family song
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
14:31 / 19.11.03
Deric, I could probably set you up on my couch. Just meet up with me after the gig, okay? I'm sure Eddie and Theo won't mind having a guest.
 
 
Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!
14:45 / 19.11.03
Look, I didn't go to the trouble of "liberating" hammer from his home for nothing. The kids will really hear what this guys saying. Like black people "hear" Jimi in a way that us white folks can't.

The kids love all that black music these days, and Hammer is the epitomy of it all. Seriously guys, he's here to help. He just doesn't know it.

If you don't make use of this, I'm gonna be so pissed. In fact I'd go as far as saying that if you don't let him put on a show, practically none of you will be getting Christmas cards.

That's how mad I am.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
15:20 / 19.11.03
Well, the show has started, and people are slowly turning up to the gig. We've got about 60 people so far, which is pretty impressive given that it's the middle of the day and it's raining. Flyboy's set sounds great so far, but um...Tryphena hasn't turned up yet. We may have to get Hammer out there with or without backing tracks if she doesn't get here soon.

Q is making pancakes for the crew and Jermaine's band, so that's cool. Jermaine was really specific that he'd only eat pancakes with fresh blueberries, so I just sent Eddie out to the Garden Of Eden to get some to please the guy.
 
 
Murray Hamhandler
15:56 / 19.11.03
Yeah, the show is great. Q's pancakes really hit the spot after a couple of days of not eating. Yeah, I know I'm not technically crew, but I did put on an impromptu spoon-playing performance in front of the stage as soon as I got to Prospect Park, so I felt justified in swiping a couple dozen.

Thanks for the couch space, Flux. Now all I need is some money! Anybody want me to pick up something really heavy for a dollar?

Ooh! Jermaine, Jr. is starting soon! Gotta go!
 
 
Persephone
16:03 / 19.11.03
Hello, sorry to interrupt, but has anyone heard from Todd? If you see him, would you tell him to call me? Thanks.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
16:23 / 19.11.03
Now that you mention it, Todd hasn't turned up. That's weird.
 
 
Persephone
16:29 / 19.11.03
He's not with you? I really thought he'd be with you.
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
16:34 / 19.11.03
Yeah, well, he was supposed to show up. Weird.

Well, Tryphena hasn't showed up, so I'm sending Hammer out. I think he's just going to have to go out and sing a cappella and talk to the crowd. Maybe he can dance around or something. We'll see what he comes up with, I guess.

I'm a bit let down with the turn-out so far - we've got about 130 people, give or take. They all paid their $3, and that's going to the Save Barbelith Fund, but I think we may end being in the red after all is said and done.
 
 
Persephone
16:54 / 19.11.03
I guess that I'm worrying over nothing. Well if you see him, ask him to call me.

Good luck with your concert
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
17:27 / 19.11.03
OH MY GOD.


HAMMER HAS BEEN SHOT!
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
17:40 / 19.11.03
Okay. Okay. Things are getting crazy now - as it turns out, Hammer was shot with some kind of dart - I thought it was a bullet from where I was, but thank God I was wrong about that. Qalyn's got his VA guys on crowd control, but people are totally freaking out, and there are cops and a news helicopter here now, and things are just barely under control. Jermaine is still going on in a half hour, and let's just hope we find the guy who shot Hammer, and that there aren't any more problems today...
 
 
Papess
18:09 / 19.11.03
Sorry dudes...really. I was rolling my own blow darts when one accidentally got blown in Jermaine's direction. It was all in the name of freedom, honest...FREEDOM I tells ya!


FREE BARBELITH NOW!
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
18:12 / 19.11.03
Thankfully, Jermaine was only grazed by your blow dart. He's whining and complaining, but he's still going out on stage in a few minutes.

May, we hired you for security! You've got to be careful, or you're defeating your own purpose!
 
 
Matthew Fluxington
18:17 / 19.11.03
I just got a call from the hospital...Hammer is in a coma! He's been poisoned. Whoever shot him knew what they were doing. And apparently, some witnesses saw a man dressed in leather and fur run off immediately after it happened...
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
18:27 / 19.11.03
Oh please, how can you fall foul of that dastardly rumour. Even channel 9 know that the witnesses to the shooter were rounded up and intimidated into giving the same story. Hell, they weren't even paid and you know what that means.

What you have to do now is look for a man not wearing leather and fur. Only he can lead you to the antidote.
 
 
Papess
18:31 / 19.11.03
Apparently there was a second shooter.
 
  

Page: (1)2

 
  
Add Your Reply