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Barbelith #496

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Matthew Fluxington

12:03 / 17.11.03

I think that we may have a problem, guys. Is there any way we can delete every reference to the Purple Horse on Barbelith, and make sure there are no phantom threads which can be found by crafty computer expert types? If we don't erase them soon, something really bad might happen.

I'm more than a little scared about this, to be honest.

12:08 / 17.11.03

It's your own fault for going there to be honest, if you were confident to go you should be confident enough to explain your actions to the appropriate authorities.

Matthew Fluxington

12:09 / 17.11.03

Um...well, it's not like that, exactly. This could be a big problem for all of us. I can't really explain right now. Just please believe me.

12:18 / 17.11.03

I think I know what you're talking about, and I have to say I wouldn't sweat it. This sort of thing is usually all posturing and bluffing. Stand your ground, man.

12:19 / 17.11.03

Well I think you should explain yourself fully, I mean if there's a chance of me getting sued by someone I'd like to know so I can inform my lawyers.

Matthew Fluxington

12:20 / 17.11.03

That's so easy for you to say, Todd.

Aren't you the one who got us into this mess to begin with? You shouldn't have hit that old hibachi guy.

Regrettable Juvenilia

12:22 / 17.11.03

Todd's got a point, y'know. We've faced down worse than those guys, right? And none of the old troublemakers seem to bother any more. We'll survive this, too.

12:27 / 17.11.03

I didn't hit him, dude. It was a total Pedro Martinez-Don Zimmer situation. God. Fucking Yankees fan.

Tryphena Absent

12:32 / 17.11.03

Are you guys coming blood or something? This sounds really, really bad.

Matthew Fluxington

12:49 / 17.11.03

Ewww. No, it's nothing like that, Tryphena.

It's worse. Maybe.

12:56 / 17.11.03

You're either taking the piss in which case don't, because I don't find the threat of legal attack particularly amusing. OR you're serious, in which case I don't find the fact that you haven't contacted me about it since I would be at risk of legal attack particularly amusing.

Matthew Fluxington

13:41 / 17.11.03

I'm not sure if it's the law we have to worry about, Tom.

13:52 / 17.11.03

Not to be a complete killjoy about this, but - having discovered that this whole thing is some kind of game or drama that people are acting out that I would probably have known about if I had a lot of time on the board - I'd just like to make it clear to everyone that it's NOT SERIOUS, NOT A PROBLEM and NOT AN ANXIETY. NOTHING IS GOING ON. THIS THREAD IS PART OF SOME GAME.

Furthermore, I think the fact that the people participating in this little drama aren't prepared to actually come out and tell people that it's not serious and that they shouldn't worry is pretty fucking morally dubious. As far as I can tell the drama is predicated on other people being anxious that the board in general and some people on it in particular are under some real threat from some direction. If that wasn't the case, then I'm sure the people concerned would have taken the opportunity available to them to publically ease everyone's minds as soon as they realised that some people were taking it seriously. I'm pretty fucked off about this as an approach. Feels like a hoax bomb threat or something - playing on people's fears for your own jollies. Very unhappy with it.

13:57 / 17.11.03

but tom it's so funny! those guys...

my ribs are still sore from all that Joycore! stuff. remember that? great days, great blokes.

Matthew Fluxington

13:59 / 17.11.03

Listen, we don't even know if this is a real threat yet, but the owners of the Purple Horse seemed pretty serious when they said they were going to turn Barbelith into a porn and gambling site.

14:08 / 17.11.03

I think Tom is right, Flux. This time you've gone too far. I've participated in your little games before, because I have a sad, empty life, but now I see that my blind devotion to you has eroded my moral compass. I want my compass back. And preferably a map, too. Maybe a lantern and a tent. Whatever.

Do the honourable thing.

Matthew Fluxington

14:09 / 17.11.03

What are you talking about? You're the reason why we're in this mess!

Matthew Fluxington

14:11 / 17.11.03

You had been begging me for months to take you to the Purple Horse, and when I finally do, you fuck it all up and now we have to worry about mob hackers and assassins! This may be a big joke to you, but I've got two kids to take care of, and this is too much for me.

14:15 / 17.11.03

The Purple Horse doesn't really exist, you know.

Matthew Fluxington

14:18 / 17.11.03

What, are you in their pocket now?

Tryphena Absent

14:18 / 17.11.03

Todd you always fuck everything up and now you're denying that the Purple Horse doesn't even exist?! There are going to be ten bearded men sitting at their computers destroying us now and it's all your fucking problem. You should totally take the fall for this... I hope your machine is eaten.

Don't listen to them Tom, they're out to get us, they're going to take us down from within.

14:20 / 17.11.03

why are we arguing about a place that no one here has ever been to?

Matthew Fluxington

14:21 / 17.11.03

Oh my God. What if Todd's account has been taken over by the mob hackers?

"There is no mafia" - Bullshit, Todd!

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:23 / 17.11.03

Flux, if what they're saying is true then I have to say I think this is beneath you. Flux = Boy Who Cried Wolf. I actually feel quite personally aggrieved because I took this thread seriously (mainly because of the topic abstract, which made it sound like something really serious and dramatic was going to happen), and so I went to the trouble of posting a special message of reassurance which was wasted on you. I just hope that if anything serious ever REALLY happens to you and you turn to Barbelith for help, people can still find it in their hearts to give you the time of day. You may be playing a game, but it's a dangerous one.

14:26 / 17.11.03

You know, if there WERE a mafia, I wouldn't be talking about them if I were you.

In any case, How about a new round of barbelith mafia! in the creation! yeah!

Murray Hamhandler

14:29 / 17.11.03

I agree Flux. THis is nonsense that your playing on the bord and we dont have to tolarate it. If you need somebody in your corner for real, i'll be the first one to make the bad guys eat a lawnmower. But dont play games with us by makeing stuff up about mafia people (The Sopornos is a show! a fake show!) and purple horses. Maybe acting like this is normal in New York but wher I come from its nonsense.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

14:32 / 17.11.03

Jesus.

You assholes.

What is this, fuck-with-Tom week?

Matthew Fluxington

14:37 / 17.11.03

I can't believe this. The mob is after us, and you're all in denial. Let's get this straight - it may be me they are after, but they'll take down the rest of you to get to me. And then this place will be a porno site - they will destroy everything that we've worked for! We must not stand for that. We must do everything we can to save Barbelith and stop the Mob Hackers.

Who is with me? Let's put on a benefit concert in Prospect Park!

We're The Great Old Ones Now

14:41 / 17.11.03

Sweet Christ.

Matthew Fluxington

14:47 / 17.11.03

Good news! I just put in a call to my good friend Jermaine Stewart, and he's agreed to play a benefit concert to help save Barbelith!

I've got Eddie and Theo making calls right now, hopefully we can get a permit to put on a show in Prospect Park on Wednesday!

Tryphena Absent

14:47 / 17.11.03

Are the mob after us or not? I'm really confused.

14:50 / 17.11.03

Nick, as ever, is the voice of reason. Or sanity. Or well-bred common sense. One of the three. You are all assholes, and I can't believe you're persisting with this charade. What has Tom Coates ever done to you?

I'll tell you what he's done: he's designed a citadel on a hill, a self-regulating community that stands head and shoulders above the rest of the Internet. I mean, yeah, the rest of the Internet really can't tell what's going on here now, but I'm sure they feel it. You should be grateful to Tom. He's made this a great place through sheer force of will and dogged perseverence. And you're pissing on it with Mafia-this porno-that. If I see you at the White Stripes on Thursday I'm gonna shiv you.

Tryphena Absent

14:53 / 17.11.03

What does shiv mean?

Regrettable Juvenilia

14:56 / 17.11.03

I think it's a type of food that eat in New York. Probably some kind of spiced meat, to be eaten on bagels. But Todd is being ebolic and using it to mean he's going to eat Flux's face off when he sees him.

15:02 / 17.11.03

a shiv is slang for a knife made in jail.

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