Howdy, Barbelith. Long time no see.
I'm really sorry about the length of time it's been between updates, especially considering how good you guys have been. Many of my best friends are here, and I can only really keep you all informed via this thread. I have no net access where I live at the moment, so updates will come sparingly.
Happy to say that I'm doing really well. A few lumps and bumps over the last week, nothing that shouldn't be expected with the situation. I've been extremely emotional, experiencing profound intensities of pretty much every conceivable feeling.
It feels like my feelings have been on hold for eight years. They've all come rushing back, all at once, but they're still the feelings of a seventeen year old punk kid (that makes me twenty-five, Barbetrivia fans. Time to update the Top Trumps). I feel very much alive again. It reminds me of that Cyclops quote from New X-Men, after Xorn heals him of the Nano-Sentinel infection: "I didn't realise how run down I was. I thought I was just tired..."
So. I have my life back. In my control. To do with as I wish. It's been a battle this last week to put the emphasis on myself, as I've let my own agenda slide so much in favour of other people'sin the past, and it's very easy to fall back into the same pattern. Instead of replacing one set of repressive circumstances with another, I'm going to give myself some time off work to rest, heal, and transform into the person I'm becoming. I feel very positive.
I still intend to be at the Plough on Friday if anyone wants to meet up. If anyone wants to give me a backrub, it'll be appreciated! I'll also try to give this thread a much more complete update within the next two weeks.
Bless you all. You all fucking rule, especially Rothkoid who made me cry at work with his amazing answerphone message. I love you, dude. |
