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Persephone:
"But ideally, I would like to get rid of that word girly & its association with sex and gender...."
which, I think (speaking for myself anyway), is harder to rid yourself of than you might imagine. before I had my daughter I thought of all the ways I could avoid putting any pressure on her in regard to gender and how should behave. everything was easy, til I came to one little, simple thing: I couldnt imagine putting my son in a dress. sounds silly, its true, but I absolutely couldnt overcome this. of course, I was initially not too thrilled about dressing my girl up like a little doll either, but it bothered me that I associated this little bit of fabric so definitively with "being female" that I couldnt get over it. and I still do. it still pisses me off, this tiny nothing detail, but its a block that screws with how I see myself and others.
"if sexuality is part of your presentation, then is your intelligence automatically undermined?"
I think it most certainly can. Ive said before that I think a lot of people, even fairly sexually free people, at some level see sex as something devoid of any cerebral aspects and therefore as animalistic, base, and altogether common.
haus said once (and this is *completely* out of context, Im not implying any sort of agreement or discord with any arguments here on his behalf) that fruit flies can breed. which is a good point - we can all fuck. but I think we can go much further than that (just "doing it", performing), both in the act itself and with our embracing our sexuality as well as the sexuality of others.
a certain level of shame or reserve is expected, more so from women. which, to a degree, is understandable - I dont want to discuss the intimate details of my sex life with my boss. however, in normal social situations certain peoples behaviors in regards to sex are seemingly often determined by the gender of the speaker and the personal issues of the listener, rather than by *what is acceptable in that situation* |
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