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I sat down on blood

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Matthew Fluxington

17:44 / 29.10.03

If key lime cheesecake is wrong, I don't wanna be right! Ha!

They've got all kinds of cool cheesecakes. I almost got the Oreo Mudslide, but I can't say no to anything key lime.

18:07 / 29.10.03

I sat down on blood=best thread EVER?

19:09 / 29.10.03

Keggers, there's no need to steal anything. You're welcome any time, and it's Todd's treat!

19:12 / 29.10.03

OK, I can buy Oreo Mudslide, because those things don't have a prior heritage. But key lime just *has* to be a pie. Otherwise, it just tastes wrong.

Generations of chefs and culinary scientists have refined it correctly to a perfect mixture of tart key lime and creamy condensed milk (on the one hand) or else stiffened egg whites (on the other). But adding key lime to something as rich as cheesecake... I can't see the point. Strawberries, yes. But key lime is just going to throw everything off. An ingredient like that just has to be handled with care, or else it's going to wind up like... like gin in watermelons.

19:29 / 29.10.03

grant's fruitopian preciousness notwithstanding, that Key Lime Pie cheesecake was outrageous. Anyone who opposes foody miscegenation so strenuously is suspect in my book.

I've been really busy at work, working on my new personal ad (I think New York magazine would be a good fit for me, right guys? I mean, their ads are full over divorced 38 year-olds flashing their desparation with their Massive Attack CDs. They will be putty in my hands. ), so I had no idea that Qalyn was writing about his/our weekend on here. I barely come on here since I've been having so much fun over on Fluxtown, but I thought I'd take a break from figuring out book I've read recently would improve my personal ad's click-through rate, so here I am. For a second. I can see now that I'll have to devote a little more of my time to this debacle, because Q and Flux are mischaracterizing a whole shedload of events. Aside from that Key Lime Pie cheesecake, the Cheesecake Factory was sorely lacking outrageousness. And don't get me started on Eddie. First, he orders a hamburger. At a Restaurant! Is he JEALOUS of people with E. Coli? And then, he has Guacemole on it? What, are we in California?

Like i said, I'm awfully busy, so I'll have to attend to this later.

19:43 / 29.10.03

"Foody miscegenation"?

Are you calling me a racist?

Because from where I sit, it's all y'all up north that have the real problems - putting guacamole on hamburgers and whatnot.

Matthew Fluxington

19:47 / 29.10.03

Gaucamole on burgers is pretty gross, Grant. I told Eddie not to get that, but no, he thinks he's gotta have it. And guess what happens? He spits out the first bite, and I have to scrape the rest of it off so he can eat the burger without the guac. But of course, no one ever listens to me.

Murray Hamhandler

20:33 / 29.10.03

Is guacamole some kind of cheese?

20:37 / 29.10.03

No, its a condiment made with avocado.

20:49 / 29.10.03

Well, I'm totally with Flux on this one. It's a condiment made from avocado that doesn't belong on a hamburger.

20:54 / 29.10.03

What, Grant? You have a problem with green ooze on dead flesh? I think it makes the whole experience very realistic.

Matthew Fluxington

20:59 / 29.10.03

Listen, I don't care if you're an adult and you want to have a burger with avocado on it - that's fine by me. Whatever. I'm just saying, they shouldn't market that stuff to little kids.

21:10 / 29.10.03

Well, I think asking a waitress at one of those places to be able to make a judgment call like that is probably a bit too much. I mean, well, they probably eat the stuff themselves. It's supposed to go on chips, for Pete's sake. Corn chips, not the potato kind. And people wonder about the dumbing down of America. You know, we've spent hundreds of years determining which foods go with what, and I think it's not only disrespectful to the great cultures of the world, like Mexico or China, but also damaging to our own society to go around pretending like we can just make this stuff up because it "sounds good" or whatever.

Matthew Fluxington

21:14 / 29.10.03

That was probably the worst thing about the Cheesecake Factory - way too many "fusion" dishes. I like things nice and simple too. Todd was trying to talk me into getting the "Chino-Latino" steak, but there's just no way I'm taking a chance on that. Chinese food to one side, Latin food to the other, thank you!

Murray Hamhandler

01:35 / 30.10.03

No, (guacamole's) a condiment made with avocado.

Yuck! Avocados are a vegetable, isn't it? No wonder you guys think it sounds gross to put on a burger. I won't let them put tomatoes or lettuce or any of that junk on my burger. If I wanted a salad, I wouldn't order a burger, that's for sure.

But I really had no idea about that guacamole stuff. You never can tell what these people in New York will eat nowadays. I mean "cheese-cake"? I don't care what kind of cheese it is, I don't want it in my cake! But there's a whole factory that makes this stuff in New York. I'll just stick to regular old normal cake, thank you!

02:04 / 30.10.03

What on earth did they put in the water????

(...or is this all sunspot madness?)

21:09 / 30.10.03

Well, deric, I'm hoping you mean no salad except pickles, onions, a slice of tomato and a lettuce leaf. Without that, you're not eating a hamburger, you're eating a meatloaf sandwich. There's nothing wrong with a meatloaf sandwich, they can be great -- as long as you're not putting ketchup and mustard on them (hamburger) and are using some kind of steak sauce or maybe gravy.

I always thought this stuff was kind of obvious.

Murray Hamhandler

22:26 / 30.10.03

First of all, grant, that salady garbage makes the bun slip all over the place and that makes burgers no fun to eat. The trick is to soak the buns with ketchup and mustard and mayo with nothing between but the burger. If you scrape the onions off, McDonlad's hamburgers are perfect because of this. Secondly, vegetables are totally gross. I won't eat them alone, so why would I ruin a burger with that junk?

Gravy on a burger sounds pretty good though. Maybe sausage gravy. Like a big container of sausage gravy to dip the burger in (because I think it would make the bun slip if it were on the burger).

What's "steak sauce", anyway? Do you mean ketchup? Or mayo?

22:52 / 30.10.03

Steak Sauce (A1, Bulls-Eye..ect)... something like HP sauce.

Murray Hamhandler

22:57 / 30.10.03

Oh. I've seen that A1 stuff sitting around in Texas Roadhouse (best resterant ever!). You ever read the ingredients of that crap? It's got prunes in it! If there's anything worse than vegetables on a burger, it's fruit! Especially fruit that gives you the runs! I know I've eaten a good burger when I can't crap for a week.

14:57 / 31.10.03

Back to the cheesecake - I've also tried Cheesecake Factory's key lime pie flavour cheesecake, found it quite tasty, and would recommend it if you want that key lime pie flavour, but really want cheesecake.

15:59 / 31.10.03

OK, this obviously isn't working.
deric, if your bun is slipping because of salady stuff, then you've put too much on. One leaf of lettuce, one thin slice of onions, three or four slices of pickles. Otherwise, there's no texture to the sandwich.

If you're going to put sausage gravy on a hamburger, you should just replace the patty with a sausage patty (the breakfast kind) and the bun with a biscuit, otherwise you're kind of lying to yourself about whatever it is that you're eating.

And Squirmelia, if you really want cheesecake, you should eat cheesecake. If you want key limes, you should eat key lime pie. Why ruin two perfectly good... no, *great*... desserts by mushing them up together? It's nothing I'd want my kids to do when we're all sitting at the table. That's one of the things about discipline that's difficult, I suppose. Hey, Flux: do Todd's kids do that thing where they keep trying to put ketchup on peas, or have they outgrown that? Because I swear I don't know how much longer I can keep correcting this stuff before something snaps! (j/k)

Matthew Fluxington

16:03 / 31.10.03

Grant, Todd doesn't have any kids. And thank God for that!

21:45 / 03.11.03

Wait a minute - then whose kids were they?

21:48 / 03.11.03

Isn't Flux the one with kids?

Matthew Fluxington

22:25 / 03.11.03

Maybe Grant is thinking of the children of Todd's former mistress, Ina van der Laan. Todd used to take Willem and Jonas out all of the time. He was really good to those kids.

22:28 / 03.11.03

Remember that weird lotion Ina put on Jonas' bottom? Smelled like grape jelly.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

22:34 / 03.11.03

"Really good to those kids"? Jesus, Flux, I know you're friends and everything, but that's not gonna fool anyone. (Todd- don't take this too hard- I know it was a long time ago now and you've changed a lot.

11:48 / 05.11.03

Now wait a minute... if Theo and Eddie are Flux's kids, then why was *Todd* the one who needed to get his pipes cleaned?

Foust is SO authentic

13:01 / 05.11.03

Qalyn... are you for real? Holy Whiney twip, batman!

01:50 / 02.08.07

Say, how are Theo and Eddie Willis these days?

Matthew Fluxington

02:01 / 02.08.07

Ugh. Well if you MUST know, Eddie Willis died four years ago.

Theo -- she's alright. She's been at a boarding school in the Alps. Something involving Volvo repair. She's happy, but I rarely hear from her these days.

02:18 / 02.08.07

They grow up so fast, don't they?

02:37 / 02.08.07

Oh my GOD, dude. I am SO sorry. I had no idea.

May I... may I ask how he passed?

All Acting Regiment

10:49 / 02.08.07

What on earth is this? I feel like a Who companion, entering a whole new world.

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