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Barbelith Skills Directory

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Our Lady of The Two Towers

14:32 / 14.10.03

Every now and again we get people requesting help with stuff, so I thought it might be an idea for people to volunteer anything they feel they're skilled at. I'd prefer this not to get too silly, but it could be anything from technical programming skillz, to counselling, to the history of DC Comics from 1950 to 1979. Basically, anything which you think people might genuinely call for help on, and anything you'd be comfortable helping with.

(Note: If this works, this isn't a thread for discussion, so be warned that I will be using my evil moderating powers of deletion to try and keep thing on track)

Oh well, I suppose I should kick things off:

Our Lady of the Flowers: Library-related enquiries, title searching, book location in the British Isles.

14:40 / 14.10.03

Good idea! Quantum- good for Tarot, Quantum physics and the ins and outs of jobsearching and the UK benefits system. Oh, and sci-fi novels esp. 60s and 70s.

unheimlich manoeuvre

14:52 / 14.10.03

unheimlich man? good for nothing.

hmmm... well, then... nine years in the booktrade so (like Lady) good knowledge of erh... books.

now working for elderly housing services in hillingdon so if you want to know what your relatives are entitled to in englands modern well-fair (sic) state, i'm there.

Tryphena Absent

14:52 / 14.10.03

BBC radio programmes and their writers. High Street shopping.

15:03 / 14.10.03

I am *excellent* at fucking things up. So if anyone needs any help with that, let me know...

15:06 / 14.10.03

Baz Auckland: geography, history, and travel tips for most countries, plus amusing historical anecdotes about said countries, violin, maps, magazines, and a bit of Spanish and French...

15:42 / 14.10.03

ethnomusicology (esp. folk music of Britain & Ireland)
hymnody
Catholic dogma and ritual
prosody (i.e., poetic forms & techniques)
vegetarian cookery

16:17 / 14.10.03

I'm currently at a university library in the US, so if anyone needs a search done stateside I can help.

17:43 / 14.10.03

I am with olulabelle on that. We can team up and fuck shit up real good!

18:10 / 14.10.03

Fair understanding of media law (libel and contempt of court) in UK.
Shorthand.

Jack, is that story about cardinals really checking out a newly-installed pope has bollocks (literally) true?

18:25 / 14.10.03

grant
Trivial general knowledge (just like everyone else out here)
Tabloid publishing/yellow journalism
Editing & proofreading
World religions (special tabloidy focus on eschatology & prophecy)
Travel info - int'l and domestic US.
Audio recording/Songwriting
Gardening
Surfing
Small watercraft
Primitive camping
Cryptozoology
Ufology
Forteana
Chinese history

Languages: Spanish (not entirely fluent), German (minor), Mandarin (even more minor).

18:28 / 14.10.03

Ummm, Gymnastics.
Mixmage asked me for advice with that. Whether it was any use...

And possibly business type stuff; I've got a fair idea on how to go about setting up a business, what areas you should think about most, and suchlike. Apart from fucking accounts.

18:29 / 14.10.03

Oh yes, and Im in on not-bad german.

18:42 / 14.10.03

NME: Probably not. This story has been circulating since the 1490s, usually appended to the story of Pope Joan—but the Joan myth has been thoroughly debunked, and the primary source for the "testiculos habet" story is now recognized as a satirical work.

The link above looks at the issue in great and amusing detail.

18:44 / 14.10.03

Seriously? Practicalish stuff...

HTML, CSS, web design tweaks.
Programming in some Perl, a little Javascript, but mostly SAS which is no good to you unless you're taking a census or work in pharmaceuticals. (This is technically what I do for a living.)
Artificial intelligence issues (bit rusty there but I may be able to point you in the right direction).
Computerishness generally. Some gadget knowledge depending on what my latest toy is (phones, Palms, iPods, whatever).
Corporate assfuck-recipient tactics. Management-speak and internal politics. (This is *really* what I do for a living.)
How to get information and activity from call centres.

Those are the CV-type things that come to mind immediately; there's other stuff, though, that I forget I know about until the topic comes up. And I imagine some things which I think I'm crap at, other people might think I'm good at. And I imagine the opposite as well.

19:37 / 14.10.03

Qalyn:
-History, General, Hellenistic and American Revolution
-Writing, Technical and creative
-Free, How to get things for
-Area Knowledge: Brooklyn and Manhattan
-Whimsy, Flights of

Though of humble birth, I am doughty, brave and true.

Matthew Fluxington

19:41 / 14.10.03

I'm a Life Coach.

20:17 / 14.10.03

I'm superior at being cute, funny, and Really Annoying for the sake of a (r)evolution I invented in my head, and you might appreciate this because you once invented that same revolution in your head.

I'm good at turning threads into breakaway protests that the riot cops attend to with intellectual analyzations instead of rubber bullets.

Resident punk child, mayhemic mascot, and troll-smokin-a-bowl: Ragel "fuckin fractalized, yo" Hinewater is here for all your needs. Weddings, Bat Mitzvahs, and Hipster Holocausts, you can't go wrong with a little divergence from your post flow.

20:36 / 14.10.03

Deva
- some cultural studies, mostly theories of textuality (Barthes), deconstruction (Derrida), bit of Frankfurt School (Benjamin, Adorno)
- children's books
- slash (practice, theory and beta-reading inc. English grammar)
- a little Latin and less Greek (Haus is better than me in general & on the language side, but I know lots about Vergil and Lucan)
- fluent in Blake's 7 & Harry Potter; literate in Buffy; basic Star Trek, Prisoner and Sapphire & Steel

20:37 / 14.10.03

Hey, I just sliced open my thumb with a rotary cutter... I could tell people how to do that. Or how not to do that, I also figured that out --versatile thinker that I am.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

20:44 / 14.10.03

I can juggle. And know how to look after dogs. And I have far more knowledge about Star Wars than is, realistically, healthy. And Bagpuss, obviously. Although give me a year or so and my recently-acquired Beetle obsession may yet bloom into full-on VW geekiness.

21:03 / 14.10.03

But also: beginning web design & construction, intermediate theater production, and advanced general organization. Well-read in self-help literature. Road-tested strategies for managing writer's block and depression. Also general craftyness, as in sewing, knitting, papier mache, and light carpentry.

21:23 / 14.10.03

I dunno really.

I can cook quite well - veggie only, mind.
I can do math, though I find that knowing lots gets in the way of giving clear, crisp answers.
I can speak Italian and a little Spanish.
I can juggle badly and can be boring about drugs, if thats any help. Both at the same time, if you want. Though, on the whole, multitasking is not a strength.
I can space out really well. Thats, "entering an alternate state", if we want to be all positive about it.

21:47 / 14.10.03

I'm good with Flash Actionscripting (some say damn good, but I'm waiting until someone's willing to both say that and pay me for it).

Got the Unreal editor sewn up pretty well, know the Q3 engine but haven't released any levels for a quake game in years.

I've made a living as a graphic designer, mostly print, and have been spending a lot of time teaching people how to use the popular tools (Photoshop, Illustrator, Quark).

I'm a decent 3d renderer, but not yet pro-quality. Good enough to make models for Unreal.

I'm a good teacher.

I'm very articulate, have an excellent command of the English language (who doesn't here?), and can name all the members of Kiss despite having absoultley no interest in the band.

21:58 / 14.10.03

U.S. copyright and trademark law.

Political theory, all areas.

U.S. pop culture, especially comics and television.

Early (pre-Wired) cyberculture.

New York City.

Some knowledge of the occult.

23:15 / 14.10.03

I'm a graphic designer, and am quite good at making things look pretty.
afrenasia.com
I'm an okay web designer, with training in useability. I can read and write HTML, I can read and modify Javascript, and can read and sometimes modify ASP code. Though I prefer to avoid code where I can.
I have a degree in Architecture, and know a fair bit about architectural history and design. (not a very good actual architect though)
I have a bit of philosophical training, with an emphasis on the eastern traditions.
I have a certificate in workplace training and assessment
I know a bit of KungFu - 4 styles - TaiChi, Wushu, Baugua and Xing Yi
I know lots of useless history and trivia regarding the DC and Marvel comic book universes.
A little bit of magical knowledge.

I'm apparently a good kisser and not a bad shag.
Currently single and looking for luuuv...

01:02 / 15.10.03

To everyone here : If these is not success, I do not know what is.

gotham island fae

02:17 / 15.10.03

Like Rage, I'm cute and people love me. I only really annoy if they try and flirt with me or get to know me.

I commit myself to stage roles well.

Assuming you're not a walking Bachelor's Degree, I can support and refute word disputes.

And my laughter can fill an auditorium, with or without occupants.

Goodness Gracious Meme

14:55 / 15.10.03

Bengali in Platforms
In vague order of proficieny

Vegetarian cooking
Navigating the UK welfare state system aka 'getting what you're entitled to'.
Active listening/use of listening skills in ad-hoc 'drop-in' spaces, specialising in women and mental health.(I've just been nominated for an award, don't ya know...)
Theory and Practice of humanistic/person-centred counselling.
Knowledge of mental health sector: specifically ethnic minority, lgbt and kink-friendly resources.
Performativity/queer theory, performativity/textuality intersections esp. Peggy Phelan/Della Pollock/Jill Lane/Eve Kosofsky-Sedgewick.
General cult. studs, feminist theory.
Contemporary visual art/culture.
Circus/aerials: trapeze=moderate, corde lisse/silks=basic.
Languages: some French,Bengali(v.basic)
Rapidly forgetting general art historical knowledge/violin playing.

edited as i unbelievably forgot the most important(employable) ones:

Excellent phone manner
75wpm
Knowledge of most office software, and accountancy packages.

Ability to smile through teeth even if i hate you.

17:19 / 15.10.03

Hugs. Anyone needs a hug come to me.

EE

18:47 / 15.10.03

I'm good with cats and spiders. I have an "understanding" with both species, although I'm not entirely sure how this came to be. If you need an ambasador to either, though, I can give you a hand.

I'm also handy with the Holy Bible, thanks to years and years of private education.

Music in general and music theory. Areas of expertise: guitars and alto saxophones.

umm...let's see...I have the ability to seem sincere when I'm really not, fooling even the most observant...I have absolutely amazing hair...that's all I can think of.

20:04 / 15.10.03

Physics (not QM or GR)
Programming (C, C++, direct3D)
Image processing ( no ghosts , urban legends or russian mafia steganography)
Climbing.
Caving.
Metrology. (not of the `prey` sort)

20:32 / 15.10.03

programming - c, c++, win32 knowledge, perl, shell scripting, html
cooking without the proper ingredients
finding just about anything on the internet
biblical trivia and world religions
Knowledge: colour theory
Knowledge: history - Church, fashion, ancient, theatre, American
sewing, costume construction, pattern drafting
theatre tech - sound and light design, minor electrical work
can fix almost anything with enough duct tape and wd-40
navigating PA/DE/MD/VA/DC and some of NYC
Limited empathy and other such flakey nonsense
letting myself be underestimated by my enemies
i give good beery nonsexual hugs

20:39 / 15.10.03

Based on topics that I tend to jump in on, I'd say:

French
English grammar and spelling
Lightweight tech questions, especially gadgetty stuff
Whisky
Real ale
Cycling
Yoga
Vegetarian and vegan food
and, em ... sewing, anyone?

Not the most useful set of skills for changing the world, perhaps.

20:40 / 15.10.03

Music:
early music, especially medieval vocal stuff, some folk music esp. Breton. Welsh bardic tradition. Harps - history, small amount of knowledge on different techniques.

Odd and fragmentary knowledge of art projects and am just learning how to get funding/work in Britain doing arts/music/spoken word.

French, in a almost-forgotten-it-way.
Coping with hospitals + being ill + things going wrong.
Generally being useful and friendly.
I can navigate really well, and rarely get lost.
And cakes, mustn't forget cakes.

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