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One Thousandth Customer

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Ganesh

22:58 / 01.10.03

I'm a hop and a skip away from clocking up 1000 Private Messages - and I'm vaguely feeling that this momentous occasion ought to be celebrated in some way: perhaps a brass band, magnum of sparkling wine, a sash presented by Linda Lusardi (or Maggie Philbin) and photographs for the Bridlington Courier?

Suggestions?

Spatula Clarke

23:04 / 01.10.03

Hand in your suit. Start one with a new name.

1000 PMs? Jebus...

Ganesh

23:06 / 01.10.03

Hand in your suit. Start one with a new name.

Pfft. It'd take more than a measly 1000 PMs to make me do that...

gingerbop

23:11 / 01.10.03

How do you keep track of how many you've sent?

I think, rather than marking the occasion, the PM itself should be somewhat different. But how, I cannot really thing. Perhaps a PM to Xoc, saying you've run off with Our Lady and gotten married? But perhaps not.

Ganesh

23:21 / 01.10.03

How do you keep track of how many you've sent?

I don't; I'm talking about PMs I've received. I therefore have very little idea who'll send me the 1000th one. Perhaps I could send them Asti Spumante and/or F-list celebrities?

Ariadne

05:58 / 02.10.03

I was under the impression that you could only have so many - like, 50 - in your inbox. Damn, and here's me been deleting them.

Sax

06:00 / 02.10.03

I thought you could only have 30 PMs in your inbox - I frantically delete them all when I get in the late 20s. Arse. I had some really good ones as well.

Sax

06:01 / 02.10.03

(Oh, and this is a sarky thread, am I right, Ganesh?)

Ganesh

06:33 / 02.10.03

No, I really do have nearly 1000 PMs. And Maggie Philbin in a jiffy bag.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

06:49 / 02.10.03

Depends entirely on the quality of the message, dear boy.

Sax

06:51 / 02.10.03

I don't doubt you have 1,000 PMs, Ganesh (PM envy notwithstanding), but the fact that you have started a thread to "celebrate" the fact seems to be a little arch, knowing you as intimately as I do.

Ganesh

07:11 / 02.10.03

I have a really great PMness.

angel

07:17 / 02.10.03

Aaaaaah! I think you have found your celebratory mechanism! Really bad punning! Oh the pain, the pain!

illmatic

07:19 / 02.10.03

How about celebrating with a "private party" involving Barbelith's two hairiest brothers?

Ganesh

07:28 / 02.10.03

I like your thinking, Illmatic...

Oh yeah, and everyone sending me 'am I it?' PMs can bugger off. I'm still a li-i-ittle way from 1000, and you're not it. Until one of you is.

illmatic

08:20 / 02.10.03

I have this beautiful vision of the number "1000" shaved across 2 pairs of ... certain body parts.

Have I said too much?

William Sack

08:37 / 02.10.03

A cake with 1000 ass-candles on it.

Ganesh

09:52 / 02.10.03

Have I said too much?

You haven't said enough...

I guess I was thinking more of vintage-era 'Whizzer & Chips' style japery whereby the local Mayor is in attendance, and there's a cash prize enabling one to buy a slap-up meal ("ho ho, readers, now for a feast!") or one's own weight in sweets.

(This will mean nothing to anyone from outwith the UK.)

Sax

11:34 / 02.10.03

And a good slippering for anyone who steps out of line. Crumbs!

Ariadne

11:49 / 02.10.03

(This will mean nothing to anyone from outwith the UK.)

And the above contains a word little-used outside Scotland. Try to be a wee bit more inclusive, Ganesh, or noone will ever PM you again.

I'm still in a huff about all the PMs I've deleted.

Our Lady of The Two Towers

11:53 / 02.10.03

You could change your suit name to Tony Blair.

Ariadne

11:59 / 02.10.03

And then delete myself? Tempting.
I don't want to change my name cause then I'd have prev, Ariadne under it in a spidery italic that looks, I have to say, a bit messy and creepy.

Spyder Todd 2008

15:36 / 02.10.03

Yeah, whose idea was it to add that nonsense anyway? Course, spidery is good....

Ariadne

17:25 / 02.10.03

Just for the record, I do like the idea of knowing who people are - no problem there. It's just the style of it disturbs me in some peculiar part of my brain. It's like someone's whispering "Pssst. I know who he used to be."

Sax

17:31 / 02.10.03

And I always read prev. as perv.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

17:32 / 02.10.03

Mebbe if it said "Nee..." instead of "Prev:"

Mourne Kransky

18:38 / 02.10.03

or maybe "the Late ..." since those fictionsuits once cast aside in a moment's whimsy are never reborn.

Ganesh

11:09 / 03.10.03

Well, despite a valiantly persistent (and, at times, frankly annoying) effort from Hana_Bi, the 1000th PMer is

...

...

...

...

...

*slightly tacky drumroll*

...

...

...

...

...

MORDAAANT CARNIVAAAAAAL!!!

*Mordant is none-too-gently manoevred into a rictus-baring line-up of J-list local celebs including the Mayor's wife, Sada from the first 'Big Brother' and Alistair Appleton (from TV's 'The House Doctor'!) in a spangly jacket*

Giver a bighaaan, ladeez an gennelmen!

*Random tit'n'claw artiste who once nearly posed for 'FHM' presents 'GANESH'S 1000TH PM' sash and hands Mordant giant bottle of Asti. Everyone waits for her to pop its relatively oversized cork...*

Ganesh

11:42 / 03.10.03

*... and waits... *

Mourne Kransky

11:49 / 03.10.03

I knew her before she was famous, you know. For a small fee I could furnish interested parties with authenticated autographs, special commemorative (collector's piece) Crown Derby plates (dishwasher proof), and even a curly lock of tawny blonde hair (guaranteed original).

Congratulations Señorita C@rnival. You so deserved this unique honour. *curtseys*

hanabius yamamura

12:13 / 03.10.03

...

frankly annoying ???

... and i thought you liked my wiggly worm, ganesh ???

...anyway, a boy's gotta try, ain't 'e

Ganesh

12:16 / 03.10.03

Your wiggly worm is welcome, Hana_Bi; the 'is this it, then' PMs less so. You were only two away, though.

hanabius yamamura

12:19 / 03.10.03

... and i am just as pleased to be no. 998 ... you never know, i might get to meet Patrick McGoohan

Ganesh

12:21 / 03.10.03

I tried to get him, but he was in panto.

Mourne Kransky

13:08 / 03.10.03

998 is good, hanabi, really. And it's a credit to you that you can see the positives in having missed out on this unique and perhaps life-changing event by only two cruddy pm's. It's just a number after all... *bwahahaha*

Maybe if you didn't exhaust yourself inserting twelve smileys per sentence, you'd have had the stamina to go the whole nine yards and it would be you with your picture in the Vauxhall Goths and Geeks Gazette this week instead of modestly jubilant Mordant.

I have only 210 pm's but then I'm only one fifth as popular as My Lord And Master, so it stands to reason. *sigh*

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