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No Kiss-Kiss Bears for you, queer granny!

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grant

12:12 / 27.02.02

Has to be read to be believed....

excerpt:
quote:I said, "You just sold her three bears that look alike. Why can't you sell me two bears that look alike?"

The clerk replied, "Her bears weren't all boys."

I then asked, "How could you tell?"

Persephone

12:16 / 27.02.02

You know how the same poles of a magnet repel & the opposite poles attract? Why don't they set the magnets in the girl bears and the boy bears so that if you try to make same-sex bears kiss they turn away from each other.

And go Ew.

Maya Angelou needs to quit that job.

Eloi Tsabaoth

12:19 / 27.02.02

'No gay bears will leave this store!'

Cuddly toys kept in closet...

Shortfatdyke

12:21 / 27.02.02

the 'conversation' between the clerk and the would-be customer really is the most absurd thing i've read in quite a while!

pointless and uncalled for

12:28 / 27.02.02

I would start boycotting Hallmark if it weren't for the fact that I had already decided to do so on the grounds that they sell hideous overpriced shit.

Edited to add that they also proliferate Anne Geddes which is a hanging offence.

[ 27-02-2002: Message edited by: H ]

bitchiekittie

12:46 / 27.02.02

quote:Originally posted by Persephone:
You know how the same poles of a magnet repel & the opposite poles attract? Why don't they set the magnets in the girl bears and the boy bears so that if you try to make same-sex bears kiss they turn away from each other.

And go Ew.

hahaha. thats the next step, I think

Shortfatdyke

12:47 / 27.02.02

and the step after that is all the other nice, 'sexually normal' kiss kiss bears can run after the deviant ones and queerbash them....

[ 27-02-2002: Message edited by: shortfatdyke ]

We're The Great Old Ones Now

13:15 / 27.02.02

Maybe Hallmark should team up with these guys. Then they can make Falwell Bear, Homophobe Bear and Fuckhead the Cat.

Ethan Hawke

13:20 / 27.02.02

My company's "Net Nanny" has apparently deemed the Advocate "unacceptable" web viewing. My attempt to access that page has been logged. Oh dear.

How ridiculous is that? (worth noting that the Onion is also on the list of banned sites, as well as anything with the word "sex" in the URL.)

pointless and uncalled for

13:57 / 27.02.02

So you wouldn't be able to look at Essex Christian Societies, Sussex Society for Being as Pleasant as Possible to Everybody or the Wessex Affiliation for Enjoying Only the Non-Controversial Texts of Thomas Hardy?

rizla mission

14:12 / 27.02.02

quote:Originally posted by Nick:
Maybe Hallmark should team up with these guys. Then they can make Falwell Bear, Homophobe Bear and Fuckhead the Cat.

I think I might have to start drawing immature, sniggersome cartoons about Fuckhead the Cat. Possibly guest-staring Homophobe Bear if things go well.

Saveloy

14:38 / 27.02.02

Holy f***ing shit on a frigging moped.

Mr Todd, this is the 'best' bit from the page you can't see:

Granny: "OK, will you sell me two pairs of boy-girl Kiss Kiss bears?" I was thinking that I could still get two boy bears that way, even if the cost was outrageous.

She [the sales assistant] answered, "No!"

When I asked why she would pass up an additional sale like that, she said, "Because you are gay and you are just buying the extra bears to get two gay bears, and I won't let you do that. No gay bears will leave this store!" "

All I can say, again, is holy f***ing shit on a frigging moped.

m. anthony bro

16:04 / 27.02.02

I asked to speak to the manager to complain and was refused. After further verbal abuse from the staff for trying to "look sexually normal" when they had decided that I really wasn't, I left the store without bears, without cards, and in tears.

Man, don't flaunt it, don't look sexually normal. That's pretty fucked.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

16:24 / 27.02.02

New, from Hallmark!

"Well I've Got Nothing Against Them But I Think They Should All Be Made To Live In Camps Or Get A Forehead Tattoo" Bear

"Part Of A Pretended Family Relationship And Completely Screwing That Kid's Head Up If You Ask Me" Bear

"I Read Where You Can Take Hormones For It Or Something" Bear

All bears are programmed to speak a range of brainless and uninformed phrases, and come with a certificate of obnoxiousness and a cute miniature copy of the Daily Mail.

Hurry, while stocks last!

pointless and uncalled for

16:48 / 27.02.02

Just read the article again. Someone explain to me exactly how it's legal to deny someone service based on anything other than demeanour and capacity to purchase and use the product or service in a safe and responsible manner?

There was no indication that this was other than the case and that the woman seems to have been of a pleasant demeanour.

That's just completely fucking wrong. Plus, based on the description of the events as presented it seems to me that the staff at the store would have to have been in some kind of contravention of some human rights laws. Even if the store has the legal right to refuse service, surely the actions of the staff are acts of discrimination.

Persephone

17:02 / 27.02.02

OMG! They have set the magnets in the girl bears and the boy bears!

Less searchable M0rd4nt

17:06 / 27.02.02

Yeah, but someone else worked out that if you have a same-sex bear couple all you need to do is reverse one of the magnets and the bears will kiss. They were even selling a few on ebay as novelties. Take that, Hallmark.

[ 27-02-2002: Message edited by: Mordant C@rnival ]

The Monkey

17:12 / 27.02.02

I can't believe this...it's just stupid...I weep. Initially it was kind of funny, especially the "No gay bears will leave this store!" line, but the more I think and re-read, the more disturded I get. Especially as it seems that this is no longer passive heteronormativeness, but a sort of aggressive "no, we won't cater to those people."

The Monkey

17:18 / 27.02.02

good for the folks who flip the magnets around. in fact, i think ill just slip into my local Hallmark and do that to their remaining stock...bastards.

Captain Zoom

17:21 / 27.02.02

Y'know, some days I wonder why I put up with living in a world where fucking idiots like this exist. I'm going to start marketing a bear that kisses ass and talks a blue streak and manages not to actually say anything like those Hallmark reps.

Zoom.

Eloi Tsabaoth

17:21 / 27.02.02

What distinguishes a girl bear from a boy bear anyway? Clothing! Hallmark Teddies don't have genitalia! So either bear could easily be TV/TS...

Persephone

17:24 / 27.02.02

Excellent, Biz!

How do you flip the magnets? Can you just mush around the bear's nose until it turns over, or is surgery required?

Captain Zoom

17:59 / 27.02.02

Make sure you sterilze your needle and thread first kids. That's some delicate lip surgery there. It's kind of like gender re-assignment for plush toys, isn't it?

Do you think there's a market for that?

Zoom. (capitalistic glint)

pointless and uncalled for

18:00 / 27.02.02

I could see that - Magic Mirror: exclusive purveyor of fine gender reassigned toys.

Captain Zoom

18:24 / 27.02.02

I am sooo fucking there.

Zoom.

gridley

19:17 / 27.02.02

Oddly enough, I was planning on naming my autobiography "No Kiss-Kiss Bears For You, Queer Granny!"

But I guess now people are going to think it's derivative....

Disco is My Class War

23:01 / 27.02.02

This is unbelievable. Well, kids, this is what happens when the people who make mroal jugments also sell everything to us. Down with consumer-based politics.

If anyone finds a tranny bear, I *so* want one.

Persephone

02:12 / 28.02.02

Seriously. Like potus, I can't effectively boycott Hallmark because I never buy anything there anyway. What do you think would be the best response?

a) Forget about Hallmark and their stupid bears.

b) Buy bears and flip magnets to create gay bears for your own personal amusement and/or profit.

c) Buy bears, flip magnets, and return bears for refund to be restocked and hopefully chaos up Hallmark--at no cost to you.

d) Buy bears, flip magnets, and surreptiously return to shelf in hopes of same--at a small cost to you, but a small price to pay.

e) *Steal* bears, flip magnets, and surreptiously return to shelf in hopes of same.

I think I love this because it's a concrete riposte to the question of how craftwork can serve the revolution.

My needle and seam ripper await instructions from the vanguard...

We're The Great Old Ones Now

04:55 / 28.02.02

Make own gay bears, open small shop, tell everyone via internet, become vastly rich, piss on Hallmark from great height.

Be rich, ethical and painfully smug.

Actually...

Less searchable M0rd4nt

06:52 / 28.02.02

Well hey, I've got the sewing machine if you've got the retail outlet.

Regrettable Juvenilia

07:11 / 28.02.02

Steal bears, flip magnets, give bears away, burn every Hallmark store to the ground, overthrow the government, destroy capitalism.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

07:21 / 28.02.02

Then all back to mine for tea and stickies.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

07:33 / 28.02.02

quote:Originally posted by Flyboy:
Steal bears, flip magnets, give bears away, burn every Hallmark store to the ground, overthrow the government, destroy capitalism.And then what? God I hate plans which end before the hard bit starts.

Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?

07:38 / 28.02.02

quote:Originally posted by Nick:
And then what?

Do pay attention, 007. Tea and stickies.

We're The Great Old Ones Now

07:41 / 28.02.02

Why isn't the world more like Mordant Carnival?

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