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Heh. Sadly I wasn't invited, so I had to crash. I hid in the coffin until just before the start, then slipped out the catflap - Aunt Leslie never wanted to be separated from her mangy tom - but I accidently left my cigarette burning in the box. By the time they lowered her into the ground it was a goddam cremation, and before I got to talk to this cute girl I was there to see, they hauled me off to explain myself to the judge, a weary old battleaxe who insists I call her 'Mom' even when we're supposed to be formal. The whole thing was a fiasco, and finally I found out it was the wrong damn service - the sexy Siren of Millhaven was at the one across the street.
I'm gonna wreck that fucker Cave if I have to go round to his house with Tim Burton and Ed Wood and throw the kerosene myself. |
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