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Calamity Jane

 
  

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Ariadne
19:28 / 09.08.03
It has to be the heat. I thought I liked being hot, but this is silly. And everything I try to do goes wrong.

I got a new computer yesterday and as I tried to get it all set up today, the desk (from Argos, I shouldn't be surprised) gave a lurch and semi-collapsed. I'm typing on a slope and praying for the best. The super-huge monitor is too big for me to lift so I need a few sigils to hold the desk together till i get a new desk/ till the boyf gets home. Though he'll be drunk so it's probably best where it is.

I bought flowers, realised that was a dumb move on a bicycle, managed to get them home - and they've wilted after 3 hours.

Dinner was ... okay. Probably because I spent too much time standing by the open fridge door instead of by the cooker.

I'm wilting alongside my flowers. I can't cope with this heat! I'm from Scotland, I was never designed for this. Please send icy thoughts my way.

Am I the only one with all sorts of things going wrong? I know the non-Brits will laugh at us wimpy Londoners but i feel like a one-woman railtrack at the moment.
 
 
Lurid Archive
19:38 / 09.08.03
I hear that London is pretty hot at the mo, as hot as it is here in Barcelona even. I reckon it must be harder in London just because it feels wrong.

Still, despite the many good things here, theres no denying that I'm not built for the heat. I've wilted over here, and dressing up as Dicky OBrien in sussies hasn't lifted my spirits any.
 
 
Ariadne
19:43 / 09.08.03
Well, that image has lifted my spirits, so that's a start. You're right, it's cause it shouldn't be like this here. I keep going to see if I've left the heating on or something. And tomorrow, apparently, will be hotter. Gulp. But I'm going to a barbeque so i'll just drink so much beer i stop noticing. (Can you believe I'm drinking rose wine cause it looked colder than anything else? No, nor can I...)
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
19:52 / 09.08.03
I've got a fecking cold, which makes everything about ten times more unpleasant. Our office has been about 33 degrees all week, which ought to be against the law, and my room must be about the same owing to the effect of having a glass wall through which the afternoon sun enters at full blast, so I work up a nice sweat just by sitting here. I went out today to have my cold, as it was more clement outside, and got chatted up despite the cold by a French pilot who would not take a hint and go away and leave me to my paper, and who moreover kept his dark glasses on throughout which made me think he was looking down my top.

The worst thing is that the heat makes my veins swell and the sight of that makes me feel a bit sick...
 
 
Ariadne
19:59 / 09.08.03
Ooo, poor you - on the cold and the French pilot. French men, in my experience, aren't very good at taking hints. Bluntness is the only answer. I've found I get bothered less in France these days and can't work out if it's due to a) my new, French-style do-not-disturb expression or, b) ahem, the fact I'm 35. Ah well.

Hope you feel better soon.
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
20:03 / 09.08.03
Ha, thank you - just a bit hot and bothered, is all. As you may have noted, the hot weather doesn't improve my temper either... mY sympathies to you and your computer...
 
 
Ariadne
20:09 / 09.08.03
Thanks. The computer itself seems to be fine, but that might not be the case if the desk gives way totally. Fingers crossed it doesn't. And where do i find a strong, non-Argos desk on a Sunday?

Has anyone bought a new PC recently? I'd forgotten just how much work there is in setting it all up and getting back to some sort of normality. But only 10 days to broadband - woo.
 
 
Ariadne
20:22 / 09.08.03
On the new PC front - it came with the most ludicrous speaker set up. Why woud I want five little speakers and a big err, thingummybob (subwoofer?), for my computer? It's silly - and annoying. I play music on my stereo, not my PC.

Also, I plugged it in wrong the first time and so i now have a computer surrounded by speakers that don't work. I daren't move the desk to fix it because of the aforementioned sideways slump. Tomorrow, tomorrow. Or maybe the next day, as tomorrow is barbeque day.
 
 
Lurid Archive
20:47 / 09.08.03
Having a cold in the heat is a nightmare - my sympathies KKC. I'm surprised that didn't make you bad moody enough to be blunt to your french friend. The whole blunt vs polite (or candid vs two faced, depending on your point of view) is a source of much fascination for me.

Ariadne: Manana. Uno lo puede siempre hacer manana.
 
 
Ariadne
21:07 / 09.08.03
One can always do it tomorrow? Yeah, but I'm an impatient sort, unfortunately.
 
 
Ariadne
21:12 / 09.08.03
Woo! I dragged the melting desk out from the wall, sorted out the speaker connections and managed to watch and listen to a report on flash mobs. No sign of Bill posters or Wheaty G, unfortunately. But still, my thousand and ten speakers work - hurray!
 
 
Mourne Kransky
21:25 / 09.08.03
Oh, you would look so good in buckskin, Calam! Flatpacks are the work of the Devil. The best thing to do is get a priest to assemble them, whilst you spray holy water in the background.

I have had two cold baths today and I'm still Barry White in a rubber suit, trapped in a tandoori oven. Helps you sweat out the toxins when you're hungover though. I try to cope by pretending I'm a southern belle, living in a Tennessee Williams play, and the heat is a metaphor for my dramatic and turbulent inner world. Ganesh really is starting to look like a young Paul Newman too...

I finally managed to be in to take delivery of a new credit card the other day, after my old one expired some time ago. This was the finale of a series of annoying and frustrating delays and miscommunications. I was relived my worries were over. Ceremonially, I cut up the old, expired, card. Later, I went to the hole in the wall to take some money out and realised I had cut up my current bank card by mistake. Arsebiscuits! I would like to blame the heat but it's probably just congenital stupidity.
 
 
Ariadne
21:25 / 09.08.03
I'm interested in your 'candid versus two-faced' view, Lurid. the problem is, the whole situation is seldom candid. Especially in 'Europe' -- in France, Italy, Spain as opposed to the UK. You'll be walking along and some bloke will fall into step beside you and start chatting. He doesn't say 'hey I'm interested in you', he's just being friendly. Yeah. So should you be polite, or blunt? I tend to go for the 'candid' approach and of course get the 'but I was just being friendly' response. And I don't believe it. Who knows, maybe I'm wrong. I just know that travelling in Europe it was bliss to get to Germany where guys ignore women the way they do in the UK!

Do you really think I'm missing the opportunity to make new pals? (That sounds snotty, but i actually mean it - in your experience, are Italian guys 'just' being friendly?)
 
 
Lurid Archive
21:26 / 09.08.03
Dude! That kind of frenetic activity just makes the heat worse, you know. I'm trying minimal movement myself but I'm getting exhausted just *watching* MC make zombies.
 
 
Ariadne
21:30 / 09.08.03
How do you make zombies?

And poor, poor you Xoc, i've done just that and it's terrible!

I'm working on your Tennessee Williams suggestion but I'm too surrounded by spanners. i built this damn desk, it should last!
 
 
Kit-Cat Club
21:42 / 09.08.03
He doesn't say 'hey I'm interested in you', he's just being friendly. Yeah. So should you be polite, or blunt?

Exactly my dilemma. I felt my politeness was vindicated when he commented that people in Oxford were generally much more unfriendly than elsewhere in Britain (apart from London, of course...). But I think I made my attitude clear, and I blew my nose a lot. Poor chap was probably just bored and all the other girls he'd tried to talk to had told him to sod off...

Xoc, of course it is just the heat (when it is winter one blames the numbing cold, I believe). It was the heat which led me to attmept to make a cup of tea by pouring orange juice on to the teabag just now (I am told, by my mother, that hot tea is a good cure-all and coolant - perhaps it is a sign of heat-induced addledom that I was prepared to try it out in the first place?)
 
 
Lurid Archive
21:46 / 09.08.03
I'm interested in your 'candid versus two-faced' view, Lurid.

Not really my view, Ariadne, it more the different ways to look at certain cultures. And actually, the way I've put it isn't quite right. I meant that the candid or blunt latin as a constrast with the polite or two faced brit, respectively. Except two faced works in either position, depending on who one is criticising. Which makes what I said confusing.

Do you really think I'm missing the opportunity to make new pals? (That sounds snotty, but i actually mean it - in your experience, are Italian guys 'just' being friendly?)

No. I think your impressions are probably right, that you are being chatted up, in a slimy way. But...that doesn't preclude friendship and the guys are usually expecting to be turned down from anything sexual. At least from an Italian woman. Hmmmm. Being a tourist might make it different. On balance, I tend to think its a bit creepy, but then I'm an uptight brit in many ways.

Xoc: I like the idea of you, barely constrained, in your summer dress, skipping through a cotton field into the arms of a manly Nesh whose brooding demeanour assures us that that dress won't survive the night. Or the other way round. ahem. yes, and moving swiftly on,

Its a shit about your card but I am so pleased that someone else does things like that sometimes.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
21:48 / 09.08.03
Well I had four hours sleep last night and the only reason I'm typing this now is because trying to go to bed about two hours ago didn't work. I'm not feeling really tired at the moment, more kind of anxious that I'm not getting as much sleep as i would normally get, and wondering when the crash is going to happen.

But there was the option of just getting away from london for a couple of days this morning which I didn't take but I just didn't fancy the possibilty of getting stuck on a train or the tube with the temperature high and no ventilation.
 
 
Ariadne
21:57 / 09.08.03
Orange juice and tea, ick. I've heard about the tea cooling you down theory but it sounds suspect to me.

Lurid: hello! Actually, yes, your response sounds true - it's like European guys are just testing the waters, and expecting to be firmly put in their place and develop something (or nothing) from there. Which is fair enough. Unfortunately my responses as an early-20s woman were pretty british (scottish? - i dunno) and I'd then be stuck with some poor guy who thought I was being more friendly than i was... God, I love being 35!

I, too, am now dreaming about the flowery-frocked Xoc. Mmmmm.
 
 
Ariadne
22:00 / 09.08.03
Loz, you sound terrible hon - I hope you get some sleep soon. Go to bed and try!
 
 
Mourne Kransky
22:05 / 09.08.03
I suspect Tennessee Williams lived and died without knowing what a spanner was, Ariadne. Hehehe. I can see you now, with your little buckskin toolbag hanging from your delicate waist, shouting at the problematic computer desk and hitting it hard with a spanner.

I have managed to get some more sleep the last few nights, Overlord of the Flowers, only because Ganesh got me a big old electric fan for my birthday. It sits at the bottom of the bed blowing cold air over my perspiring Rubensesque form and is the most useful present anyone ever gave me. Apart from my first pair of nipples clamps, perhaps.
 
 
Eloi Tsabaoth
22:05 / 09.08.03
Heat me makes bad think. Brain gone all not, fuzzy is. Now.
 
 
Mourne Kransky
22:08 / 09.08.03
C'mon guys, you know me. I would never wear a floral print. Billowing, filmy, white organza silk is more me, I think you'll find.
 
 
Lurid Archive
22:10 / 09.08.03
Fans and nipple clamps and other essentials of modern living. You should write a book about it, Xoc.
 
 
Ariadne
22:13 / 09.08.03
Nipple clamps, huh? It's a funny old world. They'd be banned in 'AriadneWorld' (TM) as a terrifying aberration, but what do I know? Leave mine alone and you can do what you want to your own.

I've been fancying those wee fans people carry round to cool themselves down but maybe I should go for a big one, a la Xoc.

I'm off to bed, and i hand my buckskin suit to you, dear Xoc-me-lad. I'll drift off to sleep with that thought in my head.
 
 
Ariadne
22:42 / 09.08.03
Zzzz. The rose wine (with an acute, of course...) is catching up on me so I'm off to bed. Night everyone - I'll think of you all as I toss and turn sweatily.
 
 
Cherry Bomb
08:41 / 10.08.03
See, even *I* am beginning to crack under the heat, and I think there's a few reasons this heat wave is so hard.

1): Relatively little air conditioning anywhere or fans to be found

2): The heat wave has just gone on so looooooong. It's one thing to have a week of heat, but we're now in DAY 7 of straight heat with the aforementioned lack of ac and fans

I've been so hot I took a cool bath about midnight last night 'cuz I couldn\'t take it - I was practically crying ion the bus from the heat on the way home - I plan on hiding someplace near a lake or in air conditioning.

POOR kit-cat! I had a cold during the heat wave earlier this year and it was AWFUL!!!! You couldnt\' tell if you were sweating because yuou were ill or because of the heat.

But take heart people! The temperature according to the weather forecast I saw is supposed to plunge tomorrow - 25 degrees but believe me it will feel a lot cooler after 37!
 
 
Bill Posters
09:34 / 10.08.03
i wuz wondering if it is appropriate for me to moan about the heat. but i am finding it sickening, to be honest. had a cold shower last night when i got in from Kooky's bash* i was sweating almost as soon as I got out of it.

i am sorry to hear of everyone else's various distresses...

* ze has that effect on me :-)
 
 
sleazenation
09:39 / 10.08.03
to hot to edit - please help!
 
 
Bill Posters
10:08 / 10.08.03
why, i have just noticed that my trousers are covered in salty stains...
 
 
Forced into this conversation
10:09 / 10.08.03
i remember my dad about two weeks ago saying "seems like the sunny days are over already." ha!

i´m glad i´m going to italy next week, where the weather hopefully doesn´t confuse my brain that much.
 
 
Our Lady of The Two Towers
11:07 / 10.08.03
Yeah, managed to get to sleep eventually, somewhen fairly soon after I posted that, the exhaustion goblin finally showed up. Sleep wasn't of the best quality but it was unconsciousness so that's what matters. I'm now just worried about what tonight brings as if I'm still on my schedule this will be the couple of hours sleep night. It's not so bad because I don't work monday, but if I don't get any sleep tonight then I'm all tired and grumpy tomorrow, when I should be out laughing at everyone having to go to work on Monday morning. I've also just realised that when I went to Sainsburys this morning I neglected to look in the pharmacy section to see if they had any non-prescription knock-out drugs. Does anyone have any experience here, are there good (or indeed any?) sleeping aids that don't need a doctor's note to get in this country?

Xoc, I do have a big arse fan, but although only a year or two old it makes a bit of a noise working, plus I find the breeze distracting. I'm going to experiment with pointing it away from me so that hopefully it'll cool and circulate the air in my room.
 
 
Bill Posters
11:17 / 10.08.03
i'm afraid i haven't found any non-prescription ones effectve, and moreover have not always found perscription ones useful, but don't let that put you off - these things work differently for different people. And you have my sympathy, btw - insomnia is a fuckstard.
 
 
Ganesh
11:31 / 10.08.03
You said it yourself, Big Xoccy, mendacity is the system we live in. I'm thinking less of hot thin poofs and more of JG Ballard dystopias, expecting (hoping) to see the high tide lapping at the windowsill, and giant iguanas terrorising the heat-stricken cats and munching on drug-addled Vauxhall moxen (because, as we know, homosexuals can neither run nor swim).

I'm generally someone who enjoys the heat - but I enjoy it on holiday. Sweltering on days when one has to work seems like the unfairest unfairness in the history of unfairdom. Did a fairly lengthy Mental Health Act assessment in a high-rise tower-block last Thursday (more Ballard) and, when I came out of the building (brief panic when the coffin-sized metal lift paused between floors, and I wondered how my corpse would look par-boiled) the road surface was glistening. 'It's been raining' was my first thought - then I realised the tarmac had begun to melt...

Upside is, I work in an air-conditioned hospital, and I'm not having to work too hard at the moment. My entire out-patient clinic cancelled or failed to attend, and I can't say I blamed them (fuck psychiatry, let's sunbathe!) If my Birkenstocks didn't mangle my feet so much (for some reason, the right one always blisters), I'd wear 'em to work. I'm even considering wearing shorts and t-shirt to travel, and changing into a suit when I arrive.

Feh.
 
 
Ganesh
11:50 / 10.08.03
Actually, the cats are looking so pegged-out and miserable in their non-removable fur coats, that I'm considering Immac-ing them.
 
  

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