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Jack Fear

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bio k9

00:54 / 31.07.03

Why hath he forsaken us? I know he was moving but come on... its been forever. FOR-EVER. I miss his special brand of fearitude.

Let us speculate as to his whereabouts and adventures.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

01:03 / 31.07.03

I think he's started a new life under the sea. That's what I 'd do.

Seth

01:05 / 31.07.03

Fuck him. His posts to the Secret Beard thread were shit.

bio k9

01:06 / 31.07.03

Maybe he left to grow a beard. Secretly.

Andrew C*** passing himself of as Jack Fear

01:12 / 31.07.03

I'm still around.

Andrew C*** passing himself of as Jack Fear

01:13 / 31.07.03

By the by Bio, I never liked you. Why are you starting a thread about me?

bio k9

01:24 / 31.07.03

Well, because I liked you. Apologies.

Feel free to have a mod delete the thread if you want.

Matthew Fluxington

01:51 / 31.07.03

Jack, how have you been? I've missed you too.

Bio K9 is officially one of the best posters on Barbelith, by the way. I thought that needed to be stated somewhere, and this is as good a place as any.

The Apple-Picker

02:22 / 31.07.03

I concur. On both points. Missing Jack. BioK9 being tops.

03:07 / 31.07.03

Does anyone else read Jack's posts as though they were spoken in a Clint Eastwood voice?

Regrettable Juvenilia

07:56 / 31.07.03

I like the way that Bio was all "I miss Jack's crankiness" and then Jack was all "Bio, I hate you mum and I hate you" and it made Bio cry.

Hah hah.

Tryphena Absent

08:16 / 31.07.03

No. I hate Clint Eastwood. I hate him with every part of my being. I hate him much more than I hate Jack Fear (sarcasticbastard) or Bio K9 (tosser) or Flux (musicgeek) or Mordant (bloodygoths) or the Apple Picker (picks apples?) or Flyboy (it'snot'you',it's'your'). Actually I hate you all... so much right now.

Cherry Bomb

08:41 / 31.07.03

And yet, yesterday you wished us all a lovely morning. WHAT'S HAPPENED, Anna???

Tryphena Absent

08:45 / 31.07.03

Well I'm kinda hungry and apparently I have to catalogue a load of Welsh TV and I really hate Western's and Wales.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

09:02 / 31.07.03

Oh no! It's Anna de Robinson!!!

We're The Great Old Ones Now

09:10 / 31.07.03

I think we should all be really soothing to Anna. Because it's really annoying when people do that when you're stressed.

Jub

09:12 / 31.07.03

...aw poor lamb Anna...

Now: what have you got against the Welsh? Fascist!

Tryphena Absent

10:05 / 31.07.03

I'm not really stressed, I'm just pretending so I get lots of attention and sympathy.

I still hate Welsh TV though. Pobol y cwm and other Nazi trash tripe- it makes Wales even worse than it already is. Bah!

_pin

10:05 / 31.07.03

Have you seen Welsh TV?

I hate Wales simply becaue of Welsh TV. Fuck Welsh TV. Also, I'm totally freaked out by the way that the only village I ever stayed in in Wales was, like, an RPG village. Tiny, one of each shop, big stature in the middle, and a pub that was also a B&B.

There's no fucking need, people.

ephemerat

10:52 / 31.07.03

_pin, you're from the fucking Isle of Wight, how can that possibly freak you out? Too much of a teeming metropolis?

Tryphena Absent

10:57 / 31.07.03

Ah yes but the Isle of Wight has a maximum security prison.

Saveloy

12:30 / 31.07.03

Did anyone see that Isle of Wighty comedian on some amateur stand-up show on the telly a couple of weeks ago?

'We people from the Isle of Wight like to take the piss out of mainlanders. We say: "Ooh, look at me, I'm a mainlander, I can eat with a knife and fork", or: "Ooh, look at me, I'm a mainlander, I can go to the zoo without getting an erection."'

Quantum

12:47 / 31.07.03

Hey, back off the IOW or we'll come out fighting. Fucking grockles...

underpin, most villages in Wales are like that, and if it was a proper RPG village there would have been three inns and orcs a-plenty. Were there orcs?

Whisky Priestess

13:20 / 31.07.03

AdeL

"Ah yes but the Isle of Wight has a maximum security prison."

Whereas Wales is a maximum security prison.

Without the maximum security, more's the pity.

rizla mission

14:26 / 31.07.03

Welsh TV? Jesus fuck! Has there been a deliberate decision to fill Barbelith with posts about stuff that gets me irrationally angry today or what?

Satan almighty it's awful.. you'd think that they'd try and, you know, portray Wales in a positive light, try and overcome cliches and stuff, but all they seem to make programmes about is ugly people looking miserable in the rain and cows and sheep! Hours and hours of fucking cows and sheep! If I spoke Welsh I'd be absolutely incensed at the mindnumbing crapness of it.

You have my sympathies Anna.

(Actually - their childrens programming is pretty funny - largely because it's impossible to tell what's going on - and they have really shoddy z-rate cartoons dubbed into Welsh which provide a modicum of amusement..)

Char Aina

20:58 / 31.07.03

jack fear.

i cant for the life of me think of what he is like, what his posts are usually about, or if i like the cut of his cloth. i could search, but i never do.

for some reason though, despite this lack of conscious knowledge, i think i like him.

you, even.

maybe thats it, talking like i'm on telly talking to no one in particular. maybe that doesnt help in the making of the friends and the acquaintances, and the remembering of personalities.

jack, i love you and missed you. even though i didnt notice i did.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

21:32 / 31.07.03

Gee, it's so nice that we've found a minority group that we can diss without feeling uncomfortable about it.

(Tho to be fair, S4C does indeed suck komodo dragon dick.)

Char Aina

21:48 / 31.07.03

the edits round the breaks on both S4C and HTV are the worst i have ever seen in my life. they remind me of mix tapes made by twelve year old punks with no sense of timing and a tape recorder with no pause function.

and the continuity tunes used to suck too.

FUCKERS.

Spyder Todd 2008

23:00 / 31.07.03

Anna, do you hate me too?

bio k9

00:33 / 01.08.03

Who cares about Anna, this thread is about Jack Fear: The Lost Years. What exactly was he doing from the time he left us until he returned to make me cry? And has his cutting wit been replaced with blunt rudeness or does it only seem that way because it was directed at me? Either way, lets get this thread back on track...

I believe Jack Fear left the United States just before the Fourth of July. The realization that no one makes wigs large enough to cover his head combined with the delay between issues of Planetary proved more than he could stand. At 7:14am on a Tuesday morning he tied a red bandana around a stick, filled it with plastic straws, an under watered aloe plant and three cans of creamed corn. He laced up his red Chuck Taylors (sans socks), blew kisses to his three goldfish and headed north into Canada, stopping only to boost some Little Debbie snack cakes from the local Circle K.

to be continued...

bio k9

00:40 / 01.08.03

Oh yeah: Thanks Flux & AP, the checks are in the mail as per our agreement.

—| x |—

07:18 / 01.08.03

"The checks in the mail"!?

FUCK man! Get with the bleedin' times already. It's gotta' be all like, "The plastic's in the slot," or "The bitziza flashin' over," or "The signal's in the cyberspace," or sumbitchgodamntechnofantastrickry...

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

08:19 / 01.08.03

A witness saw him at 8:22 boarding a bus, whistling "The Littlest Hobo" music to himself. The state of mind of the witness is somewhat dubious, however, as within minutes the bus depot was a raging inferno, and when questioned, he was somewhat incoherent.

The bus had departed by this point.

Tryphena Absent

08:45 / 01.08.03

I thought he was just taking stuff out of boxes and trying to find places for them!

Freaks.

Eloi Tsabaoth

08:57 / 01.08.03

I've no idea what Jack's up to, but I wonder if it's connected to that new playground song going round the midwest:

"One and two, three and four,
Jack Fear's knocking on my door,
Don't let him in, for goodness sake,
He'll sit on your couch and pretend to be a hake."

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