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Underground > Radio & Music >

Found CD wallet with terrible music in.

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10:39 / 29.07.03

Someone in my house has found a CD wallet filled with David Gray and Tracy Chapman and a host of other horriffic MOR albums. It has an address for a chap in New York. What shall we do with it?

Return the wallet like good citizens.

Throw away the CDs and keep the wallet, (it would be kind of handy as I don't have one).

Return the shite with a few extra CDs of educational music.

Return the wallet with all the CDs replaced by horriffic Venetian Snares style drill and bass.

Return the wallet with only Genesis and Phil Collins albums in it, (a real treat for the recipient that would definately change their life and make them stop and think twice about homeless people).

Designer wolfbaby

11:04 / 29.07.03

David Gray does indeed suck a monkeys nuts.

I think you should send the CD wallet to the address, with a small amount of acid inside, which will spring forth like a jack-in-the-box when the parcel is opened, permenantly mutilating whoever owns this shit music collection. And deservedly so.

How did you end up with this wallet, by the way?

Regrettable Juvenilia

11:37 / 29.07.03

Here's an idea: list the full contents of the wallet up here, and then anyone from Barbelith who wants one of the albums can ask and receive, but only if they write at least 100 words on why they want that album, why they like or think they will like the artist, etc, which must end with the declaration and I'll have a brutal dust-up with anyone who says otherwise.

11:40 / 29.07.03

Return the shite with a few extra CDs of educational music.

Chances are the person will think your choice in music is utter shite, funny things humans.

Old brown-eye is back

12:10 / 29.07.03

Aren't people that don't like the same things as you funny? Seriously though, it's not yours so send it back.

The Natural Way

12:28 / 29.07.03

So....that's the David Gray taken care of. Shapeshifter's just gagging for a meaningful experience around the coffee table.

Talking of sheeeeeeeeeit music, has anyone heard the new Kosheen tune? THEY ACTUALLY RHYME 'SKY' WITH 'HIGH'!!!!!!

That's the seal of a shit tune, innit? The capper. 'Sky', 'fly', 'high'....anthemic chorus.....

Old brown-eye is back

12:38 / 29.07.03

Dad, is that you?

12:55 / 29.07.03

Hmm... The acid idea is a good one, but could equally serve to bolster this cretin's taste. I myself have had profound acid experiences such as being awestruck by Kylie's professionalism and percieving Celine Dion's music as truly avant garde.

Flyboy, I may list some of the shite, but I'm not pissing around sending CDs to people. That would simply be spreading the shit further.

Shapeshifter, we will almost definately return the wallet but I cannot bring myself not to tamper with it somehow. A friend once found a wallet with money, cash card, pin number and an 8th of gear. We returned it to their bank having had a couple of spliffs and leaving a little thankyou note and a drawing. I myself had an address book returned with a number of new entries which were mainly film stars of the 40s and 50s. These things simply must be done.

The Natural Way

12:56 / 29.07.03

Who are you calling 'Dad', defender-of-the-PhilGray?

12:57 / 29.07.03

Oh and Pig, you forgot "try".

Tryphena Absent

13:06 / 29.07.03

Well let's put ourselves in the shoes of the owner of the CD's shall we? If they were mine I'd want them all back so don't take any of them and I wouldn't want any permanent damage done to anything and yuk acid. So I think you should return the thing but include a short and sarcastic and possibly surreal review of every single CD... on luminous pink, scented post it notes.

Old brown-eye is back

13:24 / 29.07.03

I don't remember defending anything, let alone David Grey - the thread struck me as a tad smug, is all.

Maybe Bear said what I was trying to say better than I did.

13:32 / 29.07.03

Nice. Can't be bothered to write all those reviews, though. Perhaps barbelith would like to review th following albums:

Paul Simon In Concert LIVE RHYMIN'
Stereophonics
Tracy Chapman NEW BEGINNING
David Gray THE EP'S 92-94
Ben Harper WILL TO LIVE
Ben Harper WELCOME TO THE CRUEL WORLD
Sheryl Crow THE GLOBE SESSIONS

The Natural Way

13:38 / 29.07.03

I can't believe the Barbe-music liberals have never taken the piss out of anyone else's taste (well, with the exception of Bear - he's so live-and-let-live it's incredible).

The Natural Way

13:42 / 29.07.03

MOR stuff's so frightening. The emotions so gentle and insipid. And, even more frighteningly, I've just begun to notice a close friend's taste veering in that direction! I think the tendency's always been there, actually, it's just become more pronounced with age....

What to do?!?

The Natural Way

13:44 / 29.07.03

One more thing: Fresh Breakzzzzz? MOR dance music. About hits the nail on the head.

14:29 / 29.07.03

Maybe you could use the CDs to make a few fucked-in-the-eyesocket Kid 606 style destructo noise-death megamixes, and send them back along with the original CDs - "hey man, thought you might enjoy some of our sensitive reworkings of your favourite tunes.."

Half an hour of intense editing and you can turn a Sheryl Crow track into the most blood-curdling satanic mess imaginable..

14:40 / 29.07.03

Perhaps just a bizzro letter revealing too much personal detail might be fun. Scented notepaper defintely, perhaps some "candid" photogrpahy of yourself and friends enjoying his CDs.

14:45 / 29.07.03

Yes, all our little winkies poking through the hole in the middle of David Gray. Sheryl Crow CD held tight betwixt hairy buttocks. MOR=Middle Of the Rump.

14:47 / 29.07.03

And pubes in the little plastic pockets.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

18:22 / 29.07.03

I don't mind Paul Simon...at times he has been a very interesting theif of other musical styles, making them palatable for radio which opened a few doors for the actual artists he stole from.

I would give the wallet back with a nice note about how they should expand what they like, based on their choices.

Also, if it's a carrying case, they prolly don't have their more...interesting CDs in it. I put very familiar and comfortable CDs in my carrying cases because I just want some background noise when I drive. At home, I can actually concentrate on the music and tend to put the more interesting CDs in the player.

Besides, housewives need music too.

20:48 / 29.07.03

I'd say give it back, complete with some free stuff (both yr own taste imposed on them and maybe stuff they'll like) and a nice letter.

I know I'd like to recieve that.

The Return Of Rothkoid

23:33 / 29.07.03

Yeah, I'd say send it back. And rest assured that you're one of the Chosen Few Who Know Good Music. OR something like that.

Jesus.

23:36 / 29.07.03

Shit in it and send it back in a jiffy-bag marked 'DO YOU SEE?' Then sit back and luxuriate in your own colonically-immaculate musicality.

05:32 / 30.07.03

Such a shame they don't keep a spare housekey inthe wallet. YOu'd be able to go to their home, rearrange the furniture, replace ugly photographs with your own favorites and throw out all of those unsightly glass trinkets and John Grisham books. Perhaps there'd even be time to start in on their wardrobe.

Or, for a chance of pace, having a bit of empathy might be nice.

06:32 / 30.07.03

I can't believe the Barbe-music liberals have never taken the piss out of anyone else's taste (well, with the exception of Bear - he's so live-and-let-live it's incredible).

I know music seems to be the thing that annoys me the most on Barbelith I guess it is because the rest of the site is so open minded anything goes really until it comes to music. It just reminds me of high school when you had The Goths, The Moshers and The Rave kids all slagging each other off - can't we just get along...

Don't they say the things that annoy us the most are the things we used to do ourselves, I can remember slagging off my wee sis about her listening to Queen when I was a kid maybe that's what it's all about maybe I should get some therapy

But yeah I think you should send some of your own music but if the albums listed are their style like I said they'll probably take one listen and think "this dude has some weird taste in music"

First thing in the morning - feel better now

The Natural Way

09:22 / 30.07.03

I love you, Bear. You completely sell me on the "be tolerant!" thing, without all the horrid self-righteous indignation that comprises piss-take-y threads like this. Ganesh gets there with the humour, also.

I probably find the "Jesus! Will you get over yrself?" stuff AS annoying as you stressy-eggs find the smugness. It's not like Fraely sits in a fucking room wanking over himself all day.

Actually, maybe he does. He has created a set of special Fraely face masks.

Old brown-eye is back

11:06 / 30.07.03

Losing....will....to....live.......

11:34 / 30.07.03

What you need is a bit of David Gray that'll change your outlook on the world and help you find the will to live - sing it with me now :

Saturday I'm running wild
And all the lights are changing red to green
Moving through the crowd I'm pushing
Chemicals all rushing through my bloodstream
Only wish that you were here
You know I'm seeing it so clear
I've been afraid
To tell you how I really feel
Admit to some of those bad mistakes I've made

Old brown-eye is back

11:45 / 30.07.03

See that David Gray? You love him. He's your favourite. You mow his lawn.

The Natural Way

11:49 / 30.07.03

That's great! I've just bought the whole album and cranked it up on my really expensive stereo real loud! And as the music washes over me and I look about my new Barratt family home and contemplate my career in pensions I begin to feel, well, maybe there is meaning to it all. Maybe Shapeshifter's wrong and all my dreams WILL come true tomorrow! There's always a reason to live!

I clench my fist, barely able to contain the power and the emotion instilled in me by this incredible music. I smile. I search for the hero inside myself and prepare to unleash him on the world.

The Natural Way

11:50 / 30.07.03

Next up: The Lighthouse Family.

The Return Of Rothkoid

12:00 / 30.07.03

I probably find the "Jesus! Will you get over yrself?" stuff AS annoying as you stressy-eggs find the smugness.

Yeah, because World-O-Twattery is such a more inviting locale?

Old brown-eye is back

12:05 / 30.07.03

You haven't really bought the David Gray album have you?

The Return Of Rothkoid

12:07 / 30.07.03

No, but I own three Ben Harper ones. Ooooh.

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