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The constructively misheard lyrics of your life, that while not perhaps exactly as the artist might have envisioned them still seem far more relevant to your life than anything they could normally come up with.

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10:46 / 05.12.04

Lloyd Cole's dermatologically-pristine heroine just the other night:

And she's sexually enlightened by cosmic pelicans.

13:35 / 05.12.04

The line "Let's cull that garden" from the wonderful 'Big' by New Fast Automatic Daffodils somehow metamorphosed into "Let's call Flash Gordon". It really should be the latter, though, I feel.

01:22 / 26.09.05

I don't want anybody else,
When I think about you I cut myself.....

07:09 / 26.09.05

The All-American Rejects, Swing Swing

The chorus is:
Swing) Swing, Swing from the tangles of
My heart is crushed by a former love...

I always heard:
Swing) Swing, Swing from the table saw of
My heart is crushed by a former love...

I like my version better.

All Acting Regiment

07:20 / 26.09.05

I think you should put them in a box and replace them, Lekvar.

I leant one of my mates The VU And Nico the other day, and then nearly had a hissy fit when they started going on about shiny bootle feathers. The cunt.

A

07:34 / 26.09.05

Sekhmet- Blinded by the light
Wrapped up like a douche
A mother-roller in the night

I've listened to that lyris reeeeally closely a bunch of times, and I can't see how it could possibly say anything other than "douche". It's as clear as day!

08:13 / 26.09.05

I still swear blind Lambchop's 'Up With People' chorus was

"C'mon Paginate"

I couldn't figure out what it had to do with numbering documents.

20:51 / 26.09.05

She seems to have an invisible tool-shed.

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

08:16 / 27.09.05

I always thought it was "she seems to have an invisible tough shit".

18:20 / 02.12.05

Placebo- I'll be Yours

I thought it was:

"I'll be your liquor bathing your soul
Juice that's pure
And I'll be your anchor
You'll never leave in shorts that short"

I'm not sure I can express my disappointment that the line actually goes,

"And I'll be your anchor you'll never leave,
Shores that cure"

08:45 / 04.12.05

Eurythmics - Its Alright (Baby's Coming Back)

has always been to me - Its Alright, Babies Come in Bags

Earlier than I thought

09:36 / 04.12.05

I just wanna have some fun
Probably won't see no money

- The Ramones, All the Way
...I was absolutely gutted when I realised that the more poignant version that I'd always loved:
probably won't see you no more
...was just me, meaning that it immediately became a rather inapropriate song to have listened to at the end of all those affairs.

P. Horus Rhacoid

22:38 / 19.12.05

He's a carpet-cleaning man
but no-one understands him but his woman...
JOHN SHAFT!

Which brought with it the frankly wonderful image of Shaft wearing a floral-patterned apron, vacuuming his lovely suburban home.

Whisky Priestess

13:36 / 04.02.06

"Now I've found my love
I never want to see her again"

A profound meditation on the illusory nature of desire (or perhaps just a post-relationship fuck-you to a particularly evil ex) from the Big Sleep by The Only Ones.

Unfortunately on closer listening it became the far more pedestrian

"Now I've found love
I neve want to seek again."

Wankers.

16:59 / 04.02.06

The Smashing Pumpkins

Despite all my rage
I'm still just ready to cave

I still think it's better than the actual rat in a cage nonsense.

17:57 / 04.02.06

Ulravox;

'Dancing with beer in my eyes
Looking for the memories
Of a life gone by.'

20:57 / 26.03.07

I was listening to Nakatomi's " Children of the night" in a moment of weird nostalgia when I thought I heard the line;

"We are the children of the night, we fight for the future of foundation".

I could almost picture a revolutionary team of make-up wearers fighting a totalitarian regime hell-bent on keeping everyone's faces devoid of beauty products.

miss wonderstarr

22:52 / 28.03.07

Until this evening I thought the Arcade Fire line was

"the lions and the lambs and the sleepyheads"

I even told people how sweet that lyric was. It seemed so cutely innocent.

it's "lions and the lambs, aren't sleeping yet".

Oh well

03:49 / 29.03.07

when i was a kid, i thought the split enz song went

'I just spent six months with a leaky goat'

And not quite a mishearing, but I always thought Annie Lennox was singing 'who's that girl, running around with you' to another woman - that was just wishful thinking, I think.

Cowboy Scientist

16:35 / 14.11.07

From Talking Heads' "Uh-Oh, Love has Come to Town":

"Believe, believe in mystery
Love, love, love, love is sifilis, one two three!"

From Primal Scream's Accelerator:

"Come on! come on!
El pirata bueno! El pirata bueno!*"

*("the nice pirate" in spanish)

08:27 / 15.11.07

'me and my fat tub of moose ain't no more...'

sadly, stevie ray is no more, neither - but it was 'me and my back door moves...'

odd - fat tub of moose is sooo much more evocative for a blues lick.

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