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The constructively misheard lyrics of your life, that while not perhaps exactly as the artist might have envisioned them still seem far more relevant to your life than anything they could normally come up with.

  
  

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ONLY NICE THINGS
10:31 / 06.06.03
Twattva.

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitis, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night.

The Eagles, Hotel California.

I like to huggle my baby,
She likes to huggle me too.

The Dandy Warhols, Nothing to Do

Misheardlyricpatrolgo!
 
 
Knodger: A good advertisment for Barbelith, where even the quality of trolling is excellent!
10:35 / 06.06.03
'When will I be famous?" by Bros

When will I, will I be famoooussssss????
I can't hamster that. I can't hamster that.
When, will I, see my picture in the papers?
I can't hamster that, I just can't hamster that.
 
 
Bill Posters
11:26 / 06.06.03
Jimi Hendrix's 'Scuse me while I kiss this guy is mine; I am not alone though - this rather repressed homoerotic hearing is obviously a common one, 'cos it gave its name to a website dedicated to such problems; 'tis to be found here.
 
 
Sax
11:34 / 06.06.03
Rather distressingly, I always misheard the soul classic "Betcha By Golly Wow", covered by, among others, Prince, as "Catch a falling golliwog".
 
 
Mr Messy
11:53 / 06.06.03
We're lost in music,
Caught in a trap,
I'm queer!
No turning back,
We're lost in music.


Eat my pussy from behind
(I think this one is by The Nightcrawlers, and really goes something like, These things come into my miiiiind,... but who knows)

Don't call me Fluff!
Alternatively, Encore en fois, by Sash.

Last two kindly donated by my mate Linda - what a pearl.
 
 
Aethelwine Jedi
12:01 / 06.06.03
I always heard the Manic Street Preachers 'You Stole the Sun from my Heart' as 'you stole the sun from my arse'. Which puts a new perspective on things, ey pop-pickers?
 
 
Sonny Winters
12:18 / 06.06.03
Israeli men! hallelujah!
Israeli men! Amen!
 
 
Quantum
13:28 / 06.06.03
"There's a Chick-chick-chick chicken in my head"
Time Bomb by some metal band, clearly 'Ticking' of course..
 
 
waxy dan
13:32 / 06.06.03
Pixies, "This Monkey's Gone To Heaven"

If man's alive,
then the devil is six
And if the devil is six
Then god's in heaven,
 
 
Aethelwine Jedi
17:41 / 06.06.03
For the record, 'you stole the sun from my arse' DID seem more relevant to my life than 'from my heart'. I was engaged in an affair with someone I loved who, in all fairness, got much more attention from my friends than me. How dare they.
 
 
Sax
18:49 / 06.06.03
Take the gibbon from your lair...
 
 
w1rebaby
11:40 / 07.06.03
The more you annoy me, the closer I get.
 
 
Aethelwine Jedi
13:25 / 07.06.03
Estuans interius
ira vehementi
Estuans interius
ira vehementi
Smelly horse
Smelly horse
- One Winged Angel, background music for the final boss in Final Fantasy 7.
 
 
HCE
23:58 / 31.10.03
'I believe in fleece, bitch' (tori amos, waitress)

rather cold today
 
 
straylight
06:25 / 01.11.03
"Lately I've been feeling dumb a lot," instead of "Lately I've been feeling that I don't belong."

Yeah, it's a Bright Eyes song.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
10:28 / 01.11.03
"I married a showgirl, that's the why..." [Auteurs]

(This mishearing suggested to me that the entirity of life and all its foibles, and the singer's present condition can be explained, or at least epitomised, in his decision to marry a showgirl. The real version is far more mundane: "I married a showgirl, that's for life." This leaves me free to steal and patent the phrase "That's the why".)
 
 
Ethan Hawke
11:40 / 01.11.03
It's a well know fact that most "geniuses" are simply plagiarists who are hard of hearing.
 
 
rizla mission
13:49 / 01.11.03
I'm sure I've told you all before about how I thought 'Monkeywrench' by the Foo Fighters was a political song, by mishearing or misinterpreting pretty much every line in it.. I thought it went "adolescent president / what do you do when all your enemies are French?"

I also thought, and still do, that 'Beetlebum' by Blur sounds incredibly rude, and don't understand why nobody banned it or anything..
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
14:32 / 01.11.03
Not a mishearing per se, but every time I get "Blood On Your Hands" by Killing Joke stuck in my head (which is fairly frequent), instead of

Jacques de Molay turns in his grave
While Cecil Rhodes rides out again

I get

Jacques de Molay turns in his grave
While Vinnie Jones rides out again.

Which is just plain weird.
 
 
Saint Keggers
15:56 / 01.11.03
On Eric Claptons 'My Father's Eyes' I always thought, instead of "that's when I need my father's eyes.", that he said "this is where I draw the line".

Odd
 
 
William Sack
16:06 / 01.11.03
Perhaps it was growing up just down the road from the British Leyland Longbridge car plant, but I always used to think that the line "I won't fight for a cause, I don't want to change the law..." in The Specials' "Concrete Jungle" went "I won't buy foreign cars, I don't want to change the laws." Also I heard Mrs. J singing "Hey Mr. Tangerine man play a song for me..." the other day.
 
 
the Fool
00:27 / 02.11.03
I always thought the GoGo's 'Our lips are sealed' was 'As long as I see you' ...
 
 
slinkyvagabond
20:06 / 02.11.03
When I was a kid I thought that Phil Collins sang "she sees a handbag, easy don't touch it, she wants to know, is it portfolio?". Sadly, I now know this runs "she seems to have an invisible touch..." I think my version, with its wary attutude towards random baggage was more pertinent to the political situation in 1980s Ireland. But my favourite is my friend's lovely mishearing of "dirty cash, I want you" as "dirty CAT, I want you". It just sounds so cool.
 
 
slinkyvagabond
20:07 / 02.11.03
Oh and I just remembered: "Breakdance a higher love". I was partially deaf as a kid. No word of a lie.
 
 
spidermonkey
20:12 / 02.11.03
As posted in another similar thread......

"Come, come, come into my mouth......"

Kylie
 
 
spidermonkey
20:13 / 02.11.03
Also, nicked off my husband,

"Bring me an iron lung.."

Same source as slinkyvagabond.
 
 
kowalski
22:36 / 02.11.03
Modest Mouse's "Trucker's Atlas":

"I'm going up to Alaska, I'm gonna get off scot-fucking-free!"

heard as

"I'm going up to Alaska, I'm gonna get ice for fucking free!"

When my friends and I realized that wasn't what he was singing we were incredibly disappointed. Still an awesome song though.
 
 
the Fool
00:20 / 03.11.03
Pixies, "This Monkey's Gone To Heaven"

If man's alive,
then the devil is six
And if the devil is six
Then god's in heaven,

see I thought it went like this...

If man's alive
then the devil exists
and if the devil exsits
Then god exists...

I was sorta dissappointed when I found out the real lyrics...
 
 
Pabloboy
12:26 / 03.11.03
I always misheard the:

"When I'm not with you, I lose my mind."

from Britney Spears' "Hit me Baby One more Time" as

"When I'm not with you, I USE my mind."
 
 
adamswish
15:08 / 03.11.03
I also thought, and still do, that 'Beetlebum' by Blur sounds incredibly rude, and don't understand why nobody banned it or anything..

Rizla, you must of seen the same comedian as me then. Forget his name for the moment but he finishes his act with his own rendition of "Bettlebum", entitled "You touch your mum".

Never had any memorable misheard lyrics, but it did take me ages to figure out that in "9 to 5" by Sheena Easton she was referikng to a train and not another woman when she sang: "...he takes another home again to find me waiting for him." Up until then had always considered the bloke a complete bastard to be honest.
 
 
The Falcon
16:16 / 03.11.03
'I've got those secrets 4 sale;
A banana open in your mind'

Kid606 & Mike Patton, "Secrets 4 Sale".

I'm listening to it now, and I'm not sure that's what it says. I doubt it. But that's what it sounds like.
 
 
iconoplast
10:49 / 04.11.03
Jane's Addiction, Ocean Size.

No one pulls you out from your home
Like two ancient ninja foes


...it's actually like tooth aching in jaw bone, but I still think the ninjas are cooler.
 
 
Char Aina
15:06 / 23.05.04
Pixies, "This Monkey's Gone To Heaven"

isnt man five, the devil six and god seven?

i had always assumed those were the lyrics... so much so that i have used the information within when taking the piss. like, uh, singing "number of the priest" while really drunk.
 
 
Benny the Ball
22:48 / 24.05.04
I used to sing;

Prince Charming, Prince Charming, filthy cute is nothing to be scared of...

only found out that it was actually Riducule that we should not fear about a year ago
 
 
Alex's Grandma
23:30 / 24.05.04
I used to think:

" Prince Charlie, Prince Charlie,

Ridicule is nothing to be... " etc

As it turned out hopefully... Oh well.
 
  

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