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Fingering

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Haus of Mystery

13:16 / 11.05.03

Any advice?

Ganesh

13:19 / 11.05.03

Trim your nails first.

The Natural Way

13:24 / 11.05.03

I love that term. It's so horrible.

I remember Bulk Meat telling me with a disgusted look on his face that he "doesn't finger". But what should we call this stuff?

Fondling?

Genital massage?

Cupping? (I just made that up, but I like it. It's the kind of thing steeeeeeeven does in his special red pants)

All sound equally rank.

Matthew Fluxington

13:25 / 11.05.03

If you rat out your friends, be prepared for them to attempt to have revenge upon you.

If you're being fingered, whether you are guilty or not, you should find quality legal counselling.

The Natural Way

13:26 / 11.05.03

I really fucking love that, Flux. I hope this stuff really IS lost in cultural translation.

Haus of Mystery

14:12 / 11.05.03

No Flux. Like when a man or lady puts their digits up someone's cha-cha. For good times.

Matthew Fluxington

14:38 / 11.05.03

Wait a minute.

Don't those things have teeth? What if it chomps your finger off?

Gary Lactus

14:58 / 11.05.03

It's true, injuries can result in both the fingerer and the fingeree. Getting the teeth removed is a good start, cutting the nails also. Cleanliness is a bonus. Don't be put off, I'm a Celebrity Cut My Face Off And Wear It Like A Mask, it can be an enjoyable enterprise for both parties.

Aethelwine Jedi

15:01 / 11.05.03

You just need to be really, really careful.
And, dammit, if your fingers resemble dry, scratchy, fat sausages, please just don't bother. Unless your partner is in to that sort of thing, you know.

gingerbop

17:20 / 11.05.03

Dry, scratchy, fat sausages are right up my street, i'll have you know.

Spatula Clarke

18:13 / 11.05.03

I think you're confusing street with cha-cha.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

18:16 / 11.05.03

I have found that when you shuffle the deck, the fingers are best used in stablizing the cards. There are some who simply use the figngers to shuffle, but they are showboating, and make you think they are capable of dealing in ways that aren't on the up and up.

And also remember to get a complete randomality of the deck, you need to shuffle 7 times.

That's my view of fingering.

Oh...you meant sex?

The way you can tell guys don't understand a damn thing about women is that they use the phrase "finger banging" when "banging" is the LAST thing you should be doing.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

18:22 / 11.05.03

cha-cha?

Holy Cats, I haven't heard ANYTHING called that in ages. That's worth a giggle by itself.

w1rebaby

19:21 / 11.05.03

I thought the technical term was a poot-poot.

8===>Q: alyn

19:31 / 11.05.03

Fridge, can I just say? You're screwed up.

My girlfriend had a cat named cha-cha.

Aethelwine Jedi

19:35 / 11.05.03

A pussy named Cha-Cha. Heheh. *slaps self*

that

19:37 / 11.05.03

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

8===>Q: alyn

19:45 / 11.05.03

Before you slap yourself, you should know that I wanted to name her "Cunt."

that

19:51 / 11.05.03

Kitty Kitty Bang Bang?

illmatic

20:05 / 11.05.03

My cha-cha is fantastic, I'll have you know - you should see me move round the dancefloor.

w1rebaby

21:12 / 11.05.03

It's not just about cha-chas or poot-poots, surely, there's also the la-las to consider. "La-las first, I'm a lady!" If you're entertaining a gentleman, you can usually go straight for the ding-dong or wing-wang.

I can't think of an appropriate term for "arse". Odd, that.

The Strobe

22:39 / 11.05.03

As everyone has pointed out, fingerstyle requires closely clipped nails on your fingering hand, though it often helps to have long ones on the plucking hand. Fingering takes a while to learn; beginners seem content with just slapping the entire thing down, barre-style, but this isn't very delicate and the tone's not fabulous; careful and delicate fingering, good use of variety and techinques such as hammering on can all make a really effective sound. Don't forget to move the picking hand in circular fashions to make picking easier, too. Finally, a subtle touch of vibrato always comes in handy. Keep the fingering hand subtle and the wrist flexible, and you'll be fine. Hell, Django did it with only three fingers.

Haus of Mystery

23:32 / 11.05.03

So, girls like that?

The Return Of Rothkoid

02:00 / 12.05.03

Only if you've got a moustache. And a rollie.

bio k9

05:26 / 12.05.03

The Strobe

07:22 / 12.05.03

fuck it's grant!

We're The Great Old Ones Now

08:05 / 12.05.03

Does this thread have any redeeming features or is it a request for Barbeuthanasia?

Ganesh

08:07 / 12.05.03

Fridge: I believe the term you seek is 'bot-bot'.

Hattie's Kitchen

09:56 / 12.05.03

Definitely trim your fingernails. I had the unhappy experience of having to take my ex-girlfriend to hospital because my nails were a millimetre too long, hence lots of blood and internal examinations and stitches for her. Never saw each other again, strangely enough.

And don't handle chillies.

that

10:07 / 12.05.03

Oh my god. You're serious? That's so...ouch.

Nails are very important. I keep mine nail-biter short. And for fuck's sake, have clean hands.

Hattie's Kitchen

10:11 / 12.05.03

Oh, totally serious. When the nurses were giving her the internal examination to see where the "tear" was, I fainted. A horrible horrible experience for both of us.

that

10:16 / 12.05.03

Eek. The horror. Poor you... and her.

Hattie's Kitchen

10:21 / 12.05.03

Yes, she definitely got the worst of it...and it was hard telling the nurses exactly how it happened...she couldn't have sex for six weeks afterwards because of the stitches.

I think I will get myself de-clawed.

Hattie's Kitchen

10:23 / 12.05.03

And I ended up being nicknamed Freddie Kruger, Edward Scissorhands etc for months afterwards....aargh.

that

10:26 / 12.05.03

Hehe. Sorry, shouldn't laugh.

Most of my sexual faux pas have been less physically damaging. For that I am grateful. This general topic would make for a funny thread though....hmm.

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