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Okay, get ready for my longest post to date...
First, even if someone said it, earlier, it bears repeating. If YOU feel it is important for your parent(s) to know, it is important to tell them. Though it is important to consider the effect it will have on them and the reaction they are likely to exhibit, the A-Number One, Top Priority, Most-Important-Consideration-in-this-Equation is what will make YOU feel grounded and complete. With bisexuality being the multi-faceted, continuous spectrum that I see it as, it is particularly important to determine for YOUR SELF how important it is that those around you are aware of it. With the ever-expanding takes on "what bisexuality is/means", knowing for yourSelf what you want and who you want to know is the first step towards sharing that with the world around you.
For my Self, my attraction to boys and men is enough of a constant reality that I have no problem answering people's questions regarding it, but I don't feel the need to wear my Kiss Me Twice. I'm Bisexual button, everyday. Nor did I feel the need to tell my mother or father about it.
My sister did. So, she did. I believe she wanted our mother to accept her diversity with open arms and love her because of it. That didn't work out so well. Pardon me while I judge my sister and her actions, but this is an example of doing it for the wrong reason. Having unreasonable expectations regarding the reactions one will receive is a sure-fire way to break one's own heart, in my not-so-humble opinion.
For my own disclosure, after the spat between her and my sis and my performance of three stage roles in a row involving homosexual sub-text and/or themes, my mother and I talked. It started with a discussion of why she was deciding to not attend my most recent theatrical endeavor (The Sum of Us), involving a man and his relationship with his gay son. Though it had not been vital that I disclose my own sexuality, I have always been a defender of "non-traditional" values in my family. As such, it bothered me quite a bit that my mother, step-father and grandparents were all unlikely to see what I consider one of the most natural and loving performances I have yet acheived. So, knowing what might be coming, I asked her to lunch with no more specific intention than to discuss why she wasn't coming.
There came that moment in the conversation when she asked me,"Have you had gay experiences?" (Poor thing, I could tell she was having trouble with the words.) I simply said,"Yes." Maybe because my sister had "broken the dam" and/or the vast differences in our sibling temperaments, the discussion, from there, went far better than my sister's announcement. In fact, Mama and I are talking more and more freely than we ever have. Knowing how well we are getting on, now, doesn't make me wish I had told her earlier, though. It was important for her to know, so she asked. I didn't need to announce it, so I waited to be asked.
It's all SOOOOO relative, gingerbop.
Best of luck and love. |
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