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Here I sit, waiting for it to rain, watching a tape of Misery in the background. Apologies for another long, ruminative post but these lies are fun. You can find out a lot about ‘Lithers from their lies.
iszabelle, on first reading, I thought you’d written:
I remember when I shot President Kennedy.
But I remember when somebody, who wasn’t you or me, shot him too so that’s credible. Having sex while too stoned to know better makes the world go round, so I think it’s the corporate paycheck that’s the lie. I think you’re still living off the royalties of the hit song you wrote for the Monkees.
I can’t decide between grant’s 1) and 2). Not sure how one would “interview” a dolphin, mind. “Do you like fish, Flipper? Squeak once for yes and two for no…” Clearly he grew the Victorian facial hair to disguise the monkey marks.
Maybe it’s the outline of the state thing. Does someone go round with a paint roller, demarcating state borders in the U.S. or something? Maybe it was a river-boundary though.
2)’s the big lie then. Being caught short pissing in the wrong place is commonplace but I think Graceland would have lots of scary, bladder-enforcement security people in Raybans and ninja suits, particularly if Queen Priscilla were in residence.
Jub, I don’t know. Rice only diets and brutal big brothers are perfectly believable. Would love to have John Barnes round and play with him. Could be true. I think it’s the teacher thing too. I was pretty horrid to some of my teachers, as were they to me.
potus, you’re being too clever and only lying about one of the numbers, I bet. You are a man of many scerets, that I can believe. You wouldn’t have to move house so much if your basket of puppies were fully housetrained. And you’ve done a lot of odd jobs around the place, so blowing the budget of an oil company on Japanese desktop toys and bowls of cocaine for the Christmas party I can believe. I think you probably passed your driving test first time.
Arturo bizunth, you’ve got me stumped. I think your Dad is Charlie Higson and when you were little you chewed off your big toe and ate a beaded seat cover for dessert.
bioK9, you stabbed Mr Rodgers with a screwdriver, while you were cheating with him on your girlfriend. So your lie is never been fired from a job.
Cherry Bomb You leapt at the chance of stardom in The Swan’s karaoke spot after the picnic, so I believe 3 and 4. Oprah’s based in Chicago, isn’t she? Could be true. I’m sure you had all sorts stalking you over there and maybe she was looking for a proof reader of your calibre.
So, I think Jerry Springer’s the lie. Just an unrealised ambition.
Which brings us back to Cholister’s freshly minted mendacity.
“Escort”, probably not. You are too conscientious to exploit lonely vulnerable horny rich people. But I may be wrong!
And, _MatterArising, when I said psychopath, I meant (of course) the cute, cuddly, charming sort. |
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