BARBELITH underground
 

Subcultural engagement for the 21st Century...
Barbelith is a new kind of community (find out more)...
You can login or register.


D00d, where's my job?

 
  

Page: (1)2

 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
10:48 / 17.04.03
Ah, I knew that karma would come back to haunt me for pretending to be all posh to take the piss out of Leap. Looks like I might be on the way out.

So, if the worst comes to it, I realise that I've never really done this unemployment thing before. Any handy tips?
 
 
Ariadne
10:52 / 17.04.03
Oh, fuck. Sorry to hear that.

Em. No tips or advice to give, except to try to see it as a chance to move to something you like better. Not easy when you're worried about paying the rent next month, I know - but the time I was made redundant turned out to be a good thing in the end.

Good luck, chin up and all that.
 
 
that
10:56 / 17.04.03
Sorry, Haus... huggles. That's really crappy. I've never been in a decent job and unemployment is kind of second nature, so I haven't got any advice to give - but Ariadne's sounds good.
 
 
Bill Posters
10:56 / 17.04.03
Sorry Haus, and good luck with it.
 
 
Olulabelle
10:58 / 17.04.03
Blimey, Haus, I can't believe you're about to become one of the unwashed. The next thing you know you'll be stealing cars and whinging for benefits...

Seriously, I'm sorry to hear that. Tips - write your CV before you're out. When I got made redundant the day the company found out it was on the cards everyone stopped work, started updating their CV's and ringing mates to find a new job. And this was before any of us knew who was even going.

There are some really good employment agencies around but since I don't know what you do it would be pointless recommending any here!

Got any mates in work with favours owing?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
11:00 / 17.04.03
Oh, it's cool - at least, it is at the moment. I figure I can eke out the emergency smarties budget if the worst comes to the worst...it's the logistics that terrifies me. The paperwork, the redundancy arrangements, all that...I hate paperwork. hate it hate it hate it.
 
 
Ariadne
11:05 / 17.04.03
I don't remember any great amount of paperwork - I just got handed a paltry sum and shown the door. Though if you do sign on - ulp - then you'll get to know all there is to know about paperwork.
 
 
Olulabelle
11:16 / 17.04.03
There's no paperwork for you. They just give you a bit of paper to sign which, if you sign it, means you accept the redundancy pay they are offering. You shouldn't have to sort out your redundancy pay, they should do that. You just need to check that it follows the law.

The law says:

1. STATUTORY REDUNDANCY PAY (Employment Rights Act 1996 s.162 unless stated)

(i) 1/2 week's pay for each year of service between 18th and 22nd birthday.

(ii) 1 week's pay for each year of service between 22nd and 41st birthday.

(iii) 1 1/2 week's pay for each year of service between 41st and 65th birthday.

(iv) Only 20 most recent years (maximum) to be taken into account.

(v) No-one has the right to statutory redundancy pay if he/she is dismissed (technically if "the relevant date") is after his/her 65th birthday (ERA 1996 s.156(2))

(vi) If a unisex "normal retiring age" of below 65 applies in the employee's business, that age will replace 65 as the upper limit (ERA 1996 s.156(2))

(viii) If 64 when made redundant, statutory redundancy pay is reduced by 1/12th for each complete month between 64th birthday and "the relevant date".

(viii) Service before age 18 is not taken into account for statutory redundancy pay (ERA 1996 s.211(2))


I am assuming that points (ii) and (iv) will be the ones that apply to you, as i don't imagine you're either under 22, or over 65. Of course, I could be wrong!
 
 
angel
11:19 / 17.04.03
Oh, Haus, I'm sad to hear that this is finally becoming more real for you, and it doesn't really make it any better that it's been on the cards for a while now. At least though when the news does come, it'll be an end to the uncertainty.

Go for it on the CV thing. Sure you've probably got the requisite equipment at home, but there is no time like the present to get that info down on paper. It's one less thing to do later, when it could possibly be harder to do.

The other thing is to see it as the opportunity Ariadne describes and have a really good think about what you would like to be paid for doing. And maybe even create a four layer structure along the lines of: a) that which you would never do for money, ever, ever, ever; b) that which you will do for money, if you have to, for as long as it takes to find something better; c) what would be vaguely pleasant to do and wouldn't break your head/heart but still isn't quite perfect; d) the dream job.

Once you've got those parameters you have a framework to bounce around in and it makes it easier to pick or discard jobs/opportunities as they cross your path. It's not rocket science, and you probably know all of this in a vague sort of way, but if you can give it a go, then you are adding fuel to your journey ahead rather than starting with a half empty tank.

Good Luck an' all!
 
 
illmatic
11:21 / 17.04.03
Shit, Haus, really sorry to hear it. Must be some agencies arond that support what you do, surely? Agency/freelance/contract work can often work out alot better paid than being full-time. it's just the unstablility that sucks. Otherwise, nepotism is the only way to go. Get that phonebook out. Just make sure you don't get pregnant in the meantime.
 
 
Lurid Archive
11:50 / 17.04.03
Bad news, dude. Try not to get dragged down by the whole thing. It can be very stressful, but if money isnĀ“t too tight, that should help. Any ideas about what next? If things are moving slowly, I'd suggest producing and selling a candid Haus calendar - it would go down a treat on Barbelith. I have my fifty new pence right here.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
12:01 / 17.04.03
Toug break baby, but the last time I got fired it changed my life mucho for the better. But then I was being paid about a quarter of your salary and had to go to Putney every day,so I wasn't exactly sorry to go.
 
 
Bear
12:05 / 17.04.03
Look at the bright side now your can follow your dream of becoming the next heavyweight champion, you've got the mic skills all you need is a bit of training.

Unemployment is no fun but if you have enough cash to last awhile I'm sure you'll be cool, can't imagine it'll take you long to find something new - although I actually have no idea what your chosen path is?
 
 
netbanshee
12:07 / 17.04.03
Sorry, Haus. Been there done that... can be great and horrible depending on what you do with the opportunity. As everyone is saying, use this to your advantage and getting moving quickly while you possess the motivation. If you get comfy in no-work-land, it can be very hard to emerge. I don't know what the job market is like by you, but best of luck finding something new to pay the bills and keep you happy.
 
 
Regrettable Juvenilia
12:13 / 17.04.03
Dude. I better give you that tenner back.

Seriously, dude. Sorry to hear that, and hope things work out... Have you considered knocking up a few "slappers" and spending your days getting wasted on strong imported lager whilst sponging off the state?
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
12:17 / 17.04.03


Not to worry about the tenner for the mo. I am getting the urge for drinking, though, which is all right as long as it's Old Fatbeard's Real Ale.
 
 
Olulabelle
12:20 / 17.04.03
Bishop's Finger is also a fairly topical ale you can consider.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
12:22 / 17.04.03
I also wanted to say that, given your copywriting skill and experience, you could make quite a mint doing it freelance. Why not offer yourself as an independent contractor to the companies your company used to work for? (That's if there are any accounts left ... I guess that might be another reason the company's going down the tubes.)

Do you think it was the financial pressure of paying Orr that was the straw that broke the camel's back? Or was it the Buffy DVDs you passed off as "expenses"?
 
 
sleazenation
12:25 / 17.04.03
I say ransome the server.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
12:29 / 17.04.03
Now, sleaze, that would be unethical...besides, the server is caput. Repairing it would probably cost as much as replacing it.
 
 
telyn
12:59 / 17.04.03
I've yet to hit the job market, a few months of unreality left, but I'm not really looking forward to the 'looking' bit. Anyway, good luck and I hope you find something you like. Does Old Fatbeard's taste good?
 
 
Sax
14:09 / 17.04.03
Sorry to hear this, Haus. What kind of work do you do? Is there a lot of it about? Any chance of temping and stuff?

And why the fuck don't you start writing for a living? After reading upsideclown and other stuff it's got to be worth a go.

Spend the rest of the weekend in a punt commiting sensitive crimes with a boy called Norman and then take stock, get pissed, post some really caustic comments on Barbelith to make you feel better. Have a fight, as well, if you think that'll help. Write a Jenny Everywhere script. Wear your fencing gear and rob a bank, leaving a calling card behind with a suitably supervillainistic moniker.

Or just let the Ganesh side of your brain become dominant for a bit, kick back and relax and go cure some ailments.

But, yeah. Shit. Come up north and I'll give you a job and some rough trade.
 
 
invisible_al
14:21 / 17.04.03
Oh arse, bad luck Haus. I agree with the idea of spending the rest of your time abusing the phone for calling job agencies and polishing up that CV.
Is it just you out or is the company down the tubes? If it's the latter start sneaking out stationary asap, it's usually easier than monitors or big heavy computers (although memory and hard drives are quite portable). Or just start mailing CV's from work.
But don't worry you are eminently employable and it should be no trouble getting temp/freelance work to tide you over.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
14:36 / 17.04.03
"Why the fuck don't you start writing for a living?"

What, fun writing or slave-to-the-rhythm B2B/pr/copy writing?

Because speaking as one who knows, it is fucking difficult to survive on fun writing alone. Break into journalism? Either a personal intro or a well-respected course will work, but not much else (am I right?) - unless you want to work on local papers for free.

Please tell me that's it all going to be all right, Sax, that you can be true to your artistic dreams and still make a living wage. Keep telling me and I might even believe you. Still keep telling me and I might take the official warning I've had from my employers today and follow that dream.

Then again, there's always getting up the duff and going on the dole.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
14:40 / 17.04.03
Oooh bugger, Whisky - why the warning?

Over at Haus towers, I'm Schrodinger's dolie - not sure yet whether I still have a job. Have been devoting myself to working out quietly just how much it would take to get shot of me. Hope for the best, expect the worst...
 
 
Sax
14:42 / 17.04.03
Hey, I was only trying to gee him up with an encouraging, if evidently unrealistic, comment. Of course it's largely impossible to maintain artistic integrity in local journalism, but it can be marginally less soul-destroying than other types of media work. For example, yesterday I wrote a 900 word feature about Aleister Crowley and the Golden Dawn, which is generally not regional newspaper fodder.

As a kind reader wrote to me recently (and which I think I've mentioned before): a picture of me with a word balloon coming out of my mouth and the words: "I might write a load of rubbish but it's better than digging ditches."

Sometimes slave to the rhythm can be better than nowt. But the pay is shite, and WP is quite correct that it's not easy to get into.

Sorry if the tone of my post was wrong.
 
 
Quantum
14:43 / 17.04.03
Don't worry, you'll be fine- and that's a professional opinion.
I used to work for the Jobcentre and can help you with the forms, dude, I know 'em backwards and can provide sage advice. I also have plenty of job-getting advice applicable to London (I used to work in Tottenham Jobcentre my friend, you're an easy mark!). If that helps...
But am on holiday until Wed next week (thus offline) how urgent is it? I might pop into an e-cafe to check up you lot (my barbaddiction grows stronger by the day) but if not, Wednesday dudes.
 
 
ONLY NICE THINGS
14:53 / 17.04.03
Quantum, you are a gentleman and a scholar. And it's not urgent at all. If it does turn out that I'm Johnny no-Job, then I might take a bit of time off anyway. I feel I've been neglecting Barbelith lately...

(Oh, no - will I still be able to provide references for Orr? Or will he have to go upstream?)
 
 
pointless and uncalled for
14:56 / 17.04.03
harmony -
Old Fatbeards is the only beer that you are allowed to drink when you are recently unemployed so the taste is irrelevant. After two months you are allowed to progress to Special Brew and another month allows any form of microbrew as long as you engage in weekly punditry.
As a student turned scrounger you will be allowed to invoke the naivety clause to include the "wifebeater" subset which includes, but is not limited to Stella, Kronenburg, Carlsberg Export and Carling.

Haus - if you are occupationally homeless in a month then I'll be joining you as it seems the Lord Chancellor no longer requires my services.
 
 
Linus Dunce
17:50 / 17.04.03
Bad luck Haus.

Signing on is quite painful but the pocket money they give extends the smartie fund quite well, I found.

Oh, and don't go temping until you really have to. Looking for a decent number takes time and energy you won't have if you're working.
 
 
STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK
17:54 / 17.04.03
Haus: fuck, that's shit. Probably no consolation for me to say that the years I spent signing on were the happiest of my life, is it? Fuck, if I can find a job, anyone can. Don't let it get ya down.

Potus: if I understand you correctly, then I have two things to say. Firstly, as above, "fuck, that's shit". Secondly- you work for that fucker Irvine? You know you can do better. Not necessarily in job terms, but in employer terms, definitely.
 
 
The Strobe
19:00 / 17.04.03
This is pooey beyond belief, Haus. I'm sure you'll lift yourself out of the poo rapidly and with your customary grace, but god, sorry to hear that. Can you find work as a professional troll-slayer? Anyhow, David Sneddon has been dispatched to give you aid.

If he can stay away from the Hellman's.
 
 
Whisky Priestess
19:01 / 17.04.03
Sax: "Sorry if the tone of my post was wrong."

Naaah, s'OK. I'm just staring down the barrel of starving in a garret again and feeling The Fear. As soon as my two-book deal comes through I'll be right as rain.

Perhaps Leap said it best when he said: "Lala la la la waaaaaaagh lalalala la la laaaa"
 
 
Char Aina
01:46 / 18.04.03
haus, i am not the least worried for you.

not because i am a cunt, but because you and i both know you wont be unemployed any longer than you want to be.
some people suck at finding work, but i dont really see you as the type.



good luck anyway, though.
 
 
Tryphena Absent
02:14 / 18.04.03
Everything that everyone has said above. Good luck and umm... happy troll slaying.
 
  

Page: (1)2

 
  
Add Your Reply