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Underground > Conversation >

Things you never thought you'd hear yourself say

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19:27 / 13.04.03

As I was flicking through the Observer magazine this morning:

"Wow, that's a really cool-looking drill."

Nuts.

19:54 / 13.04.03

Sax, I'm afraid that's the beginning of the end for you. There is no escape from this point on, and soon you will be frequenting B&Q on a Sunday afternoon in order to have a quick jostle over the latest power tool accessories.

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

00:26 / 14.04.03

"Hm....maybe it doesn't matter what I wear. People will judge me by who I am."

A

01:50 / 14.04.03

Don't let it get you down, Sax, because the simple fact of the matter is that power tools are cool. They make lots of noise and you can use them to take stuff apart. They're neat.

03:27 / 14.04.03

My DeWalt (14.4 volts, cordless) has proven to be the most useful thing I've ever purchased. Full stop.

Back to the topic...

"Hey, can I have one of those fried tomatoes?"

Spoken this morning over breakfast. I don't know what I was thinking.

08:22 / 14.04.03

The day I found myself worrying about what sort of curtains or blinds to buy ... gulp.

I'd love a drill, actually, but I'd probably lose a finger or an eye the first time I used it.

Nietzsch E. Coyote

08:31 / 14.04.03

The drill is cool, especially if it is cordless.

Whirr whirr.

08:56 / 14.04.03

"D'you mind if I switch over to Radio 4?"

09:05 / 14.04.03

09:44 / 14.04.03

"Juvenile delinquents.."

I really am getting old... eek!

09:53 / 14.04.03

There is nothing, nothing wrong or un-young about Radio 4.

But home improvement and, essentially, adverts for drills...

I've had this theory for a long time. I dread the time I'll look at Lidl catalogues or Black and Decker ads and go "hmn, what a good idea". This came up at a January Barbemeet, I think, and Mordant gave me a good long explanation of why drills = good. Jury's still out chez Paleface, though...

09:56 / 14.04.03

I was reading the Lakeland catalogue over the weekend and kept seeing all sorts of plastic stuff that I must have. You can never have too many plastic tubs.

10:23 / 14.04.03

"Well, I'm sorry, and yes, it might be the fashion, but I just don't see how wearing your trousers so long that they drag on the ground can be practical."

And

"Golly, don't those big knickers look really comfy."

AND (I am scaring myself)

"Oh look, the Innovations catalogue. Oh good."

10:23 / 14.04.03

'Perhaps I ought to buy a shower cap...'

11:24 / 14.04.03

There is nothing wrong with any of these statements! I am getting my own power drill, like a Lady Bic.

I draw the line at big undies, though. And I tried the shower cap, but it was too loud in the shower.

11:34 / 14.04.03

Dunno that anyone claimed these statements were "wrong" or even age-related, particularly. They're just things one never thought one would hear oneself say.

11:41 / 14.04.03

Ganesh, I think they will tend to be age related though, because you only start saying things you never thought you would as your age creeps up. Like, I always said I would NEVER say, "Is it me, or is the music in the charts these days really rubbish? I've never even heard of half these bands." But sadly I found myself saying recently.

Persephone, I didn't actually purchase the big undies. They just called to me but I ignored them.

11:45 / 14.04.03

Well, yes, because time (as we perceive it) proceeds in the one direction, as do the personal changes which cause us to say things we formerly supposed we'd never say. So yes, they tend to be age-related.

11:46 / 14.04.03

I was only being funny. I'm just saying that most of these things I say on a regular basis.

Lately I've been thinking about getting a subscription to Vogue, that's a bit of a reversal for me. But you know that the world has definitely ended if I ever say, "I'm going out for a jog." (Although properly speaking, I don't think people jog any more.)

11:51 / 14.04.03

I wish I could tell you my big undie story, olulabelle... but it's a body-performance thing, it has to be done in person.

Must shower! (Sans cap!)

11:51 / 14.04.03

I think we should all be thankful that due to changes in English language common word usage none of us will ever find ourselves saying "I'm listening to the hit parade on the wireless." Like my Mum, bless her, still does.

11:54 / 14.04.03

threadrot

I wish I could tell you my big undie story, olulabelle... but it's a body-performance thing, it has to be done in person.

*intrigued!*

end threadrot.

11:58 / 14.04.03

The drill is cool, especially if it is cordless.

Sez who? Maybe a cordless drill has just enough power to remove blackheads, but I haven't tried it. In the jargon of the trade, cordless drills might as well be painted pink.

(you know, like the lady bic. :P)

Whisky Priestess

12:13 / 14.04.03

"I love you."

12:15 / 14.04.03

That is true about cordless drills. There's always half a dozen drills at strike, and ours is the only one that works. I'm getting a proper drill, actually.

I keep saying I'm going to get my own lady shaver, but I never do... I've just been using his razor... shhhh...

12:33 / 14.04.03

I think we had a thread about girlfriends/wives/concubines stealing men's razors before. It's the Mach 3, I'll bet. Those things are irresistable, and I'm told that the fem version is like a dollar more expensive.

This is why I am unshaven today.

The Return Of Rothkoid

12:56 / 14.04.03

"Hey, I look kinda cute in that photo."

No lie.

13:22 / 14.04.03

ah... well.
If you weren't there, I ain't gonna say it again.

13:32 / 14.04.03

Oh...go on.

13:38 / 14.04.03

I was reading the Lakeland catalogue over the weekend and kept seeing all sorts of plastic stuff that I must have. You can never have too many plastic tubs.

OK, Ariadne, this isn't funny any more. Now you're (really* scaring me.

13:51 / 14.04.03

It'll come to you too, just you wait...

I haven't got involved in colour coding and labelling things, thank heavens. Give it another fews years and we'll see.

13:57 / 14.04.03

Women like little boxes and things, don't they? He said sweepingly.

14:02 / 14.04.03

"Do you want me to record the golf?"

If the ghost of Christmas future had shown me that ten years ago I would have turned over a new leaf there and then and - perhaps - none of those innocent children would have died at my hands.

Re: drills etc, I never expected to say it but:

"That screwdriver set is the best present I've ever had."

Tools that work are - and I'll accept no argument on this one - one of the Greatest Things in the World. You won't appreciate it until you start using them, and your appreciation will be increased a thousand-fold if you've tried it a few times before with inferior tools (or no tools at all). The feeling you get the first time you realise you are in control of Something That Will Do What it's Bloody Designed To Do, Without Knackering Up Everything Else Around It, combined with the knowledge that It Will Work Just As Well The Next Time is indescribable. I tell you, it restores your faith in Human kind. It's another example of a not-so simple pleasure which, if everyone experienced it, would lead to a happier world with fewer wars.

14:07 / 14.04.03

Saveloy, is a knife blade not the ideal screwdriver then?

14:21 / 14.04.03

*faints*

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