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STD Etiquette

Ethan Hawke

23:50 / 06.03.02

Admittedly, I haven't had to deal with this in ages as I've been in a monogamous relationship for over 4 years now, but I just read an article by Morrison's chum Douglas Rushkoff onNerve.com about his experiences with casual sex and STDs (specifically, those that are incurable, such as herpes or HPV). What are people's experiences with potential sex partners giving (or withholding) this kind of information? To me, the potential for a lingering, potentially nasty virus is the ultimate turnoff for sex, but has anyone broken through this psychological barrier and gone into a potentially infectious situation prepared?

Traz

00:10 / 07.03.02

And a thousand fictionsuits held their breath, waiting to see who would be first to admit she or he had an incurable venereal disease...

Shortfatdyke

04:27 / 07.03.02

one woman i was involved with had herpes. she was open about it, told me how to be 'safe' and i appreciated her honesty. certainly didn't fancy her any the less for it!

also had an urgent hiv test after hearing that an ex's ex had the virus. in fact we went together for moral support. we both turned out negative, which was a great relief, but i knew that if i had been positive, i would have had to tell the two or three women i'd slept with since. i think it's irresponsible not to.

The Monkey

06:09 / 07.03.02

my stepsister and her girlfriend both picked up HPV...which is apparently dermal-detritus transmitted, not precisely an STD (? from my sister)...and went through a great round of doctor reviews etc., 'cause they're respectively in Vegas and NY, and have additional boyfriends.

The thing is, there is no "safe" sexuality, since the virus isn't communicated just by sexual fluids/materials...so the whole thing becomes a matter of informing prior to sexual contact. It's very tempting not to inform a partner - espe in the cases of HPV, where males are passive carriers, and only females get the warts [and hence a greater chance of cervical problems/cancer] - but I'd say it's a good [in the moral sense] idea.

I note with interest that in the Chicago Reader, there are sometimes personal ads which specifically seek a partner who also has the incurable STD.

The Monkey

06:13 / 07.03.02

//WORK ALERT?//

ERM --

that Nerve connection had a few interesting porn riders when I first opened it, but they didn't come back when I went to the same place again. Happen to anyone else?

Bill Posters

15:07 / 07.03.02

I knew a woman who had been given herpes by a guy, he hadn't told her a thing and she was totally messed up about it.

I noticed in the UK just a few weeks back a(nother) woman got a guy for ABH, (i.e. an assault in UK legal terms) for doing the same thing to her. So I'da thought its obviously immoral and now it seems illegal not to tell s'one.

Utopia

16:04 / 17.03.02

this reminds me of some advice a friend once gave to me:

always get a visual: just because it's moist doesn't mean it's good...

mind you he was a musician.

AilleCat

16:24 / 23.03.02

I know I'm getting to this one a bit late....

however, usually with partners, I don't care about etiquette, I ask them point blank for proof that they have been tested and are disease free. In polyamourous relationships, and the fact that I'm involved with a woman who is about to have our child... I'm not screwing around with my life or thiers. Plain and simple: give me proof before I have sex with you. I'm prepared to furnish the same proof.

-Trish

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