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"A New Dawn"
The sun rises over the glittering if disastrously unstable ship, SS Substandard.
Captain Tezcatlipoca lies asleep in his bunk, a copy of 'Basic Mathematics' resting on his chest, a copy of 'So, you want to learn how to add up votes properly?' lying discarded beside him.
Suddenly a knock sounds at the door, jerking the captain from his idle dream about chorus-girls and grass skirts.
"Excuse Me, Sir"
"Excuse me, sir," says Ponsonby, entering the cabin. "but it is now 3 of the clock. I hesitate to disturb you at this unfashionably early hour, but I have just discovered-" he falters, then gives a polite cough. "Well, sir. Perhaps you had best see for yourself."
A half hour later, the captain stands despondently in the kitchen, watching as one of the huge pots used for cooking Giant Squid is hauled from the stove and upended. A thick, soggy mixture spills out over the floorboards.
"Good god! What is it, Ponsonby?"
"It is a giant uncooked plum-duff, sir. And I'm afraid that one can just make out the horrible, twisted features of otherjerry contained within, sir."
"One of our kitchen fellows!?"
"Indeed, sir. Somebody has encased the fellow in his own special plum-duff mixture and cooked him alive, sir. The result of a most warped imagination, I'm sure you'll agree."
"This is monstrous. Monstrous. I'm ravenous. We need to replace him right away. You'd better inform the passengers of his demise, Ponsonby. Oh, and find out if any of them can take his place. It's already half three and I haven't breakfasted yet!" |
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