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Marry Me!

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Baz Auckland

17:35 / 13.03.03

Okay, maybe it's just been one of those weeks. Non-stop snow and cold and general 'the USA is too close and all those fun Euros are too far' feeling. I have about 2 years of school left anyways... I just thought I would test the waters.

SO: I really really want to move away from this country permanently. Europe being the preferred destination, with Mexico and south of a close second.

Who wants to marry me so I can?

It would be incredibly noble of you. It could be a sham marriage or not! Up to you! I'm a good flatmate (ask Stoatie), clean, presentable, your parents will like me...

...or if you take the sham marriage route, I'll keep the place clean, do laundry and shopping and other chores 'round the place until my citizenship comes or until you grow weary of my company!

Any takers? And yes, I am dead serious.

that

17:42 / 13.03.03

Isn't this Runce's line?

I've always said I'll only marry a gay man - but I'm not that good a catch anyway, so you're not missing much.

Babooshka

18:22 / 13.03.03

...or if you take the sham marriage route, I'll keep the place clean, do laundry and shopping and other chores 'round the place until my citizenship comes or until you grow weary of my company! – Baz

Come on ladies! A husband AND a valet! Who could resist???

that

18:38 / 13.03.03

Will you wear your top hat for valeting duties, Barry?

Eloi Tsabaoth

19:19 / 13.03.03

Isn't this thread going to be a bit of a giveaway to the zealous green card allotting chappies? Gerard Depardieu must be rolling in his grave...

Linus Dunce

19:26 / 13.03.03

Sorry Baz, can't help you. Two too many testicles.

Seriously though, if you haven't done so already, why not spend a year as an exchange student? That way, you will have more time and a larger selection of women ... you may even fall in love for real. You would certainly have a more convincing story to tell the Home Office.

Babooshka

19:37 / 13.03.03

why not spend a year as an exchange student? – Ignatius J

Ahhh...I should seriously consider that option. I'd probably need to go back to school *here* for photography before busting major ass to get a year at the Glasgow School of Art...(They must have photo courses there..they must...)

Fist Fun

20:34 / 13.03.03

I think marriage is lovely. And babies. How about it?

Tryphena Absent

00:51 / 14.03.03

Gerard Depardieu is dead?!

The Return Of Rothkoid

01:09 / 14.03.03

If my cheque didn't bounce, yes.

I tried the marriage route sometime. Bah. Didn't work. And I'm a reverend, so I could marry myself...

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

02:26 / 14.03.03

Rothkoid- are you Universal Life Church too? Cool! There's more of us about than I thought!

And yes, I can commend Mr Auckland's good flatmate qualities.

The Return Of Rothkoid

02:27 / 14.03.03

Nah. World Christianship Ministries.

At least, until they tried to defrock me after they read my weblog. Keep tryin', churchy!

Saint Keggers

02:29 / 14.03.03

I'd marry you Baz but you're not the girl Im looking for and also I believe you're in the same province as you(qc?). Baz, just wait a while until the Qweebs separate. I hear they're going to float the province down the ocean and kidnap Florida while the U.S. is busy making war. Then they'll keep going and join France. I swear its ALL true. I heard it from a friend of a friend of mine.

videodrome

04:35 / 14.03.03

I read Roth's denomination as 'World Championship Ministries'.

The Return Of Rothkoid

04:47 / 14.03.03

Man, that's the name of my next religion. You haven't been redeemed unless it's through a guy in a nitro-burning drag racer.

amen to that.

What in the world makes you think that people can trust Mao's opinion of what is clean and presentable???? :-)

STOATIE LIEKS CHOCOLATE MILK

11:19 / 14.03.03

oooh... you bitch !

Baz Auckland

14:39 / 14.03.03

Ah well. It was worth a shot. A friend's uncle got a mail-order bride from Thailand a few years back, so I figured it was easy...

Exchange is out of the question since I'm not in a program that allows it...And I could fall in love for real with a sham marriage Barbeloid.

Buk: How's Manchester? Babies are fine as long as you don't mind me running off to Austria or Spain once my citizenship arrives.

I'll just try again in a few years. It's 10C out now today, so it's not so bad living here...

The Natural Way

16:34 / 14.03.03

It really bothers me that this "Baz" guy's gone and hijacked MY catchphrase without even an inkling of understanding of what it really MEANS, or how IMPORTANT it really is. Marriage is sacred. Full stop. The expression of the desire for marriage should NOT be employed lightly. What are you? Sick?

Baz Auckland

18:57 / 14.03.03

Sick? It looks like it, I guess. I don't think I really am though...

If I knew the phrase was yours I would've rephrased of course...

Lionheart

00:42 / 15.03.03

I've read somewhere that Scotland has opened its shores to immigrants. I don't know the rest of the story but if one is willing to investigate...

Baz Auckland

02:27 / 15.03.03

Rumour has it that that the UK needs teachers badly... I would prefer Scotland to London though. Mmmm. Scotland.

I'm sure moving to Glasgow would make my great-grandparents turn in their graves perhaps. They went through enough to leave, and what do I do? go right back.... that's graditude.

Baz Auckland

12:41 / 08.06.03

There's been an influx of new members, so I thought I would try this again. I'm serious! Really!

mondo a-go-go

12:31 / 09.06.03

I want an American green card.

So. close.

gingerbop

21:50 / 09.06.03

Well... You see, i would, but myself and my siblings are trying to get as many different nationalities as possible.... and we already have an american. Tho, you never know, the americans marriage-space may soon re-open. However, you'd have to battle it out with Solitaire rose- he asked me last week.

Oh, and the top-hat would be essential at all times except when showering.

gingerbop

21:52 / 09.06.03

And I'm in Scotland. And we're short of teachers, especially maths ones. (did my bit for my country by not taking maths. Arent you proud?)

Tryphena Absent

23:30 / 09.06.03

Would I have to work? I could consider a sham marriage if you paid for everything. Oh and the wedding- everyone has to be in drag. See that way I could wear the hat.

telyn

01:17 / 10.06.03

I'm tempted by this simply because it is quite absurd. I mean, agreeing to marry someone I've never met before so they could live in this country. I rather like the idea, however I expect others around me may not.

I'm afraid I'm declining your kind offer right now before I do something rash and agree and then say no at a later date and disappoint you.

Are you more desirable than a mail-order wife, that's what I want to know.

Baz Auckland

01:47 / 10.06.03

Actually gingerbop, I'm Canadian... or is that too close to America?

Anna: My earning potential isn't the best, so if I was paying for everything, it wouldn't be a pretty flat...

I'm sure I'm better than most of the mail-order brides out there... although I guess they need the money more. Um... I can play a mean fiddle, have good taste in music, can order coffee in 8 languages, will pay for travels throughout Europe...

Solitaire Rose as Tom Servo

04:10 / 10.06.03

Tell you what...let's do a big swap.

Gingerbop and I will move to Canada, you can take her place in Scotland and write us nice letters.

I'll send you Ringalos. And Timbits, but they might go a bit bad by the time they got there.

gingerbop

11:27 / 10.06.03

Canadian, you say: Perfect! No need to wait for the american vacancy.

Sorry solitaire, I think if canada's any colder than here, I cant move there. So you, and baz, and anyone who wishes to, can all move to my house.

I'll marry one, Anna marries the other; and all is dandy and work-permitted.

Tryphena Absent

11:55 / 10.06.03

Hang on, hang on, I had conditions! I'm not being shipped in to marriage like a little kitten drowned in a river. Plus you know I try to be respectful of the wishes of my bitch and I don't think he really wants me to marry anyone.

But Baz can play the fiddle... and wears a top hat. How tall are you please?

Baz Auckland

13:22 / 10.06.03

5ft10in....

...don't I get to pick?

Tryphena Absent

13:25 / 10.06.03

Well I was kind of checking to see if you'd make a good bridesmaid but I was looking for someone about 6'4" and very very skinny to be the third so... I don't think that's going to work.

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