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And not sure what level of knowledge you have of SM, so apologies if I'm talking too basic.
1) How do I reconcile the ideas of 'qi' or tantra, the witholding of sexual energy, with a liberatory sexual agenda?
With admittedly only a basic understanding of 'qi', I don't see that there's a contradiction neccessarily. It depends on want you mean by 'a liberatory sexual agenda'.
As someone has suggested, there are many contexts in with the witholding of sexual energy could well be a liberatory practice.
Eg, in the context of sexual activity being presented as ever-present/compulsory in Western societies. Or if someone feels that sex has become too important, or that they have become defined/defined themselves by sexual activity. In both of these cases, a witholding of sexual energy, is a witholding against a external force or compulsion in an empowering, individualistic act.
2) How do I reconcile the ideas of equality/non-violence with S&M? How do I reconcile my 'empowering' individualism with a desire to be a 'sub'?
I'll have a go at the second half of this question. If you hang around S&M'ers friendly spaces you'll hopefully hear the phrase 'Safe, Sane, consensual' pretty quickly.
This is shorthand for the unwritten rules by which people play safely. Note consensual. You *choose* to submit to someone, to allow them to play with your body, mind, soul, emotions for your pleasure. A good top will be honoured to be given this responsibility, and will take it seriously.
I've often thought personally that it takes alot more confidence in oneself to be a sub than a dom, initially at least. As a switchy type, I was initially much more comfortable with dom-ing than subbing, as I felt much more able to control matters from 'up top'. I found it incredibly liberating, the first time I felt strong and confident enough in myself to submit to someone else.
Another way to look at submission, I think, is to consider that you get to lie there, while someone else strains their mind, and body, often, just to please you.
Being a Submissive should never, IMHO, be about being somehow worth less than one's dom - though one may play with this idea through pyschological/physical humiliation *play*. Being a sub is about the complement to one's Dom. They can't play without you!
So being an SSC sub is about going out and getting what you want. Individual and empowering.
(For further info, I'd recommend a book called 'Screw the Roses, Send Me The Thorns, an excellent guide to SM)
And like Haus, I'd head to the Magick for the third question. or perhaps stick a pointer there towards this topic. As I know almost nothing about the OTO.
Fascinating questions. Will have a think about the equality and non-violence stuff. Though I think what I've said connects to equality, I see SSC play as a *collaboration*. |
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