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Absurd Sayings, Metaphors etc

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15:11 / 13.03.03

My guess is that if you let the cows bugger off out the gate (ie leave home), they won't come back at all, so the length of time between now and when they come home will be huuuuge (ie infinite, unless one of them suddenly remembers they left the iron on).

15:16 / 13.03.03

I've never heard "fit as a butcher's dog," but rather the (almost)opposite, "ugly as a robber's dog," which is perhaps not that much of a mystery.

And this one isn't a mystery either, but I had to throw it in while we're on the subject as it's a personal favourite, "ugly as a hatful of arseholes." Lovely. I've even heard someone say "ugly as a hatful of arseholes with the best ones taken out." Man, that's ugly.

15:16 / 13.03.03

I assumed it referred to the way cows are herded off in the morning to graze into the fields and brought back (eg, brought home) at night to sleep in their cowsheds..

Thus making "till the cows come home" a day at the most. Which still doesn't make much sense.

Or maybe it's, like, cows being taken off to market, or to be slaughtered - eg, they don't come home at all.

15:19 / 13.03.03

Loomis - But surely it depends on the arsehole.

15:25 / 13.03.03

On the cow thing, I have a dim recollection of it having something to do with army recruits being known as 'cows' for the duration of their basic training. Or something.

15:27 / 13.03.03

Smoothly Weaving - wtf? I guess one man's anus is another man's, err, "taut, puckered window into her very soul". If this guy was a poet for the war, I'd be on my way to Iraq right now ...

Whisky Priestess

15:34 / 13.03.03

Cows .... army recruits ... do you mean "greenhorns"

I can explain this one though:
"She's red as papers" to describe a scarlet woman
Referring to the tabloid or "red-top" newspapers often read by ladies of low class and lower morals, the redness and luridness of which recalls the lipstick, nails, clothing and indeed colourful language of your basic right tart.

15:43 / 13.03.03

Fuck knows Whiskey. I just have some memory of it not referring to bovines, and my brain makes some connection to soldiers coming back from their first tour of duty of somesuch. I wouldn't put money on it though. My memory's been pretty unreliable for...I don't know how long.

19:48 / 13.03.03

OK, here are two *real* idiomatic expressions that I *think* I've puzzled out on my own, but I'll leave up to y'all to explain.

They came off a Berlitz tape for Irish Gaelic that an old girlfriend and I would listen to.

They are:

A warm Christmas, a full graveyard.
and
The windy day is not the day for scallops.

I've been known to use that second one in conversation myself.

Brigade du jour

21:31 / 13.03.03

There's no mileage in badgers.

13:59 / 14.03.03

The lovely Samantha tells me that Whisky Priestess is leading by 800 billion points, thanks to her superb displays of explanatory skill. Well done!

"You look knackered, mate."
"Gruh, yeah. I've been up and down like a tinker's pancake."

15:32 / 14.03.03

There's no mileage in badgers.

Origins in hunting, I'm afraid. Badgers tend not to run, they turn and fight, and are fierce enough to wound or even kill hunting dogs. Once shot, a badger also isn't good for much besides fur; badger steak is not what you'd call a much-sought-after delicacy.
Thus, the expression refers to a fruitless chase, or a joyless pursuit. Picture a usenet troll encountering a message board which refuses to rise to the bait, muttering to itself in frustration - or a user on said message board, frustrated at other members' inclination to rise to the bait all too easily.

15:44 / 14.03.03

Oh, and "till the cows come home" has more to do with pastures than patrols.

Apparently it dates back to the 16th century, when getting the cows in from pasture was a long and onerous task.

Whisky Priestess

15:56 / 14.03.03

"Up and down like a tinker's pancake" eh? Haven't heard that one in years ...

Dating from circa 1590, it refers to peripatetic menders of metalware and vendors of frippery, tinkers in other words, who would habitually travel from door to door and town to town looking for odd jobs, with their knapsacks, as the man once sang, on their backs.

Now, mendicant tinkers were rarely able to afford the luxuries of life such as meat, eggs and sugar, but if they went a-calling around Lent they were often in for a treat - on Shrove or "Pancake" Tuesday many a household would have excess pancakes left over and wouldn't be able to eat them because Lent was about to start. Thus the godless tinkers would be given the entire stock, upon which they might very well live for a few weeks or more, pancakes being surprisingly resistant to decay if kept cold.

The uneaten pancakes in the backpack would receive a few more flips than they had bargained for, what with the jolting of the tinker's knapsack as he walked, and hence the expression, also reminiscent of tired wanderers thanks to the tinker connection.

Would someone please bring Call My Bluff back on the telly? I think I've just found my vocation.

Brigade du jour

20:19 / 16.03.03

Once read James Brown described as being "as mad as a combine harvester". Great scansion, greater imagery.

"Git up, I feel like chopping some corn!"

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