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Coldplay

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Harrison Ford, in a battle suit, wheels for feet, knives and guns

12:49 / 02.03.03

Coldplay.

The anus's Radiohead.
The thinking mans Oasis.

Or just a load of old twattage for rugger lads to cry to?

Matthew Fluxington

13:39 / 02.03.03

Coldplay are a good band. They sound a lot like U2. I'm really fucking sick of thoughtless jerks putting them down. I am going to turn this into an all-purpose Coldplay thread because I can't stand these "I HATE ____" threads, they serve no good function than to perpetuate idiotic attitudes about music. You can find a million places on the internet to shoot your mouth off about how much you hate Coldplay, but I think nearly all of us would prefer for Barbelith to be a more considered and thoughtful place to write about music.

13:42 / 02.03.03

Not fucking likely. Coldplay are everything that's wrong with music.

13:43 / 02.03.03

They sound a lot like U2

Flux has summed it pretty well there, I suspect.....

Matthew Fluxington

13:43 / 02.03.03

If you want to bitch about Coldplay, I recommend chiming in on any of these threads over at ILM. They're just about as clever as you are.

Matthew Fluxington

13:52 / 02.03.03

How the fuck are they "everything that's wrong with music"?

I can understand not liking them, but overstatements like that are just baffling, and I think it reveals a lot of ignorance on your part. Firstly, I didn't realize that there was something wrong with music in the first place. Second, I can't see what on earth they're doing that makes them stand out as being particularly bad - I can think of a thousand groups a great measure worse than their most boring song. You're just being mindlessly hyperbolic.

If you're just going to spew stupid hateful shit, why post here? If you're going to write negatively about a music group here, I suggest thinking things through a bit more. Try to be articulate, try to be reasonable. Let's keep the SUX/RULEZ stuff for the folks over at ILM, okay? If you're posting on Barbelith, you really ought to be more thoughtful and insightful than this.

Harrison Ford, in a battle suit, wheels for feet, knives and guns

13:57 / 02.03.03

I am going to turn this into an all-purpose Coldplay thread because I can't stand these "I HATE ____" threads, they serve no good function than to perpetuate idiotic attitudes about music. # FLUX.

Flux, it's stated very clearly, in the abstract & at the top of the thread, that this is not a space for the "but i really like Coldplay" argument. I suggest that if you want an all-purpose Coldplay thread, then you start one.

All the best

Anyone,
What is it that makes Coldplay so aggrivating?

Matthew Fluxington

14:09 / 02.03.03

And as I said, you can find a million other places on the net where you can spew out that kind of bile. This is Barbelith, and you should work a little harder here.

The Natural Way

14:10 / 02.03.03

Flux, far be it from me to endorse any of the stupid cockage that constitutes the SCOTTISH'S opinions, I feel I have to wade in with an OBEY THE THREAD command. We're here to cuss - not to debate. And in that cussing try to define our hatred - to get a clear sense of its shape.

My hater reasons:

Sickly, sickly sweet pooage that encourages people to cry whilst gazing at cutebeasts on lovely sunny days. Urrgh. Life is beautiful - rise above the pain. It's all yellow. The kind of disgusting sentiment that too many people confuse with "real emotion, maaan..." Y'know...DEEP. Really, really "worthy".

Puke.

14:32 / 02.03.03

Sickly, sickly sweet pooage that encourages people to cry whilst gazing at cutebeasts on lovely sunny days. Urrgh. Life is beautiful - rise above the pain.

Funny, if they were like that, I'd probably like them. Like Teenage Fanclub or The LAs or whatever - far finer purveyors of similar kind of stuff.

I think what makes Coldplay so aggrivating is, well..
To me, their music signifies a complete lack of, well, anything. All the essential meaninglessness and reliance on third-hand excuses for 'emotion' as Oasis songs, but without the brute noise or rock n roll posturing. All the inoffensive banality of Travis, but without the chirpy, whistle-able choruses. Like the Stereophonics they drain all elements of fun and enjoyment from music in the name of 'serious song-writing', but their 'serious song-writing' is so terminally uninspired that we're basically left with the useless by-product left over after all the positive aspects of formulaic white-boys-with-guitars music has been removed..
Coldplay = the ultimate definition of watered down, inspirationless "corporate indie cunts". Coldplay = an utter lack of challenge or excitement, perfect unstimulation for middleaged men who structure their cultural lives around Q magazine and Nick Hornby.

And their singer seems to mistake expressing emotion / sensitivity through his singing with groaning and mumbling like he's hungover, which doesn't exactly help matters.

Just what I thinks of course.

Matthew Fluxington

14:40 / 02.03.03

I'm always baffled by the UK use of the word 'indie'. No one in their right mind in the US would ever consider Coldplay to sound 'indie' in any way. They sound like U2! "Clocks", "Politik", "God Put A Smile On Your Face", "In My Place" - U2! U2! U2! With a dash of pre-OK Computer Radiohead.

18:21 / 02.03.03

Well I was going to expand on this topic - as if "sounding like U2" isn't reason enough - but Rizla has nailed it all on the head far better than I ever could.

18:24 / 02.03.03

I don't care one way or the other about Coldplay (I don't like them, I don't hate them, the just leave me totally cold), but I'm really not convinced that they sound much like U2 at all, other than that they're a 'rock' band. For one thing, Bono has a much better voice. Admittedly I'm not conversant with much of the oeuvre of either band, but, no.

Brigade du jour

21:25 / 02.03.03

I can't remember how any of their songs go and I can't remember what any of them look like. That's either because a. they're totally faceless and pathologically dull, or b. I'm out of touch with contemporary music because I'm going to be twenty-eight in four and a half hours. Hmm.

Pirate Ven Will Teach You To Lambada (The Forbidden Dance)

22:02 / 02.03.03

I'm pretty much apathetic to them as well, I guess.
"Yellow". Okay, I liked that the first ten fucktillion times.
The rest of their songs I just overhear too much, and remember too little of.
Or rather I did overhear too much, before I pretty much stopped watching TV or listening to the radio at all.
I did like the one video though--with the weird 2d/Flatland thing going on? Don't know what song that is...
But back to my own little personal spontaneous holiday ("KMFDM Day" whee) and bouncing off the walls.

Matthew Fluxington

22:32 / 02.03.03

When I say that Coldplay sound like U2, I mean that in a good way.

And I also mean that in a "there are three other men in U2 other than Bono" way as well.

There are loads of guitar parts all over the A Rush Of Blood To The Head album in which I believe the guitarist is practically doing an impression of The Edge, in terms of guitar and keyboard technique and in composition. The bass player and drummer fall in line and do convincing impressions of Larry Mullen and Adam Clayton, because hey, it's a winning formula. I swear to you, if you listen to "Daylight" or "Clocks" and pretend that the vocals aren't there, you'd probably swear that it was U2. And the thing of it is, it's a bit better and more enthusiastic sounding than what U2's been doing lately, so it works for me.

Also, if you ever hear a live recording of "Yellow" from the past year or so, you'll note that the intro has been rewritten to be reminsicent of the live intro of "Where The Streets Have No Name".

Chris Martin's voice doesn't sound much like Bono's (actually, it sounds a hell of a lot like Dave Matthews to these ears), but I think he's learned a lot of his little singing habits from Bono. He approximates a lot of Bono's stadium moves when he sings live, that's for sure.

I'm glad that there's a fairly decent U2-like band out there - I don't think there have really been many bands who have successfully immitated them, unless you count INXS, who were more of a poor man's U2.

18:59 / 03.03.03

But where U2 have bombast and iconoclasm, Coldplay have 'simper'. And then a little more simpering.

And most likely a whine, too.

To be fair, Flux, I think some things translate strangely - acts that likeminded UK and US people are exposed to on occasion sometimes provoke differing reactions. Fatboy Slim seems to have some kind of kudos over there for example, amongst people who otherwise like what I'd consider quite good music. Amongst myself and friends, he's wholly reviled.

It may be something to do with the 'otherness' of the music. Can anyone provide any counter-examples?

And, please, less of the Barbelith is for brilliant people only (it patently isn't, it's for anyone who wants to sign up and post) and calling people (or their posts) stupid and/or not of the requisite standard, which is, in itself, hardly the acme of intellectual debate.

And a little annoying, when you see it for the twentieth-or-so time. Otherwise, peace bruv.

The Natural Way

09:50 / 04.03.03

It was not cool to change the name of the thread to "Coldplay". it was intended to be a silly thread about a gaggle of cocks. Barbelith wouldn't have caved in as a result.

This place really should learn how to laugh, sometimes. Urgh.

The Natural Way

09:53 / 04.03.03

Oh, and riz, Coldplay do have the "powerful, inspiring music" effect on loads of people. But if you only listen to daytime radio w/ a smattering of MTV, then, well, y'know....it's not that weird really.

"Ooooh, it's got guitars and REAL songwriting - must be powerful......"

Matthew Fluxington

11:54 / 04.03.03

I thought it was the abundance of piano that made it "REAL music, man".

I don't think many people in the US really care about Fatboy Slim except for his two big hit singles.

And I still think it's a very bad idea to have SUX/RULEZ threads on Barbelith. This is better off being an all-purpose Coldplay thread which happens to feature a lot of bonehead "COLDPLAY ARE THE SCOURGE OF THE EARTH!" posts in it.

The Natural Way

12:06 / 04.03.03

Yeah...okay...silly threads should be saved for the conversation...blah... BUT if this thread was in the conversation it's just be moved to the music, wouldn't it? And then it'd be altered by yr good self.

Is it impossible to have a silly music/film/whatever thread on the Lith? Looks that way.

As for pianos: yes, sure, but I think it's the combination of "REAL songs, REAL geeetar and REAL pianos" that does it. I think Coldplay are largely admired by peeps who don't really listen to a great deal of rock music. In the same way that Dom Phillips used to wet his pants over Oasis in Mixmag, 'cause he jus' didn't have a clue.

12:30 / 04.03.03

And Mike Paradinas (Mu-Ziq) thought Kula Shaker were good. 'Cos he didn't know no better.

The Natural Way

12:32 / 04.03.03

But I can forgive Mike because he made "Come on You Slags!"

Matthew Fluxington

12:36 / 04.03.03

Is it impossible to have a silly music/film/whatever thread on the Lith? Looks that way.

Yeah, sure. There's already plenty of them. The SUX/RULEZ stuff is best left to ILM, is all. They've cornered the market on it over there.

You know, Runce, I'm beginning to really resent these assumptions about people who like Coldplay. They can't possibly just like the songs because they're pretty and catchy and sappy, could they?

Matthew Fluxington

12:44 / 04.03.03

One thing to consider about UK DJs who are really into UK stadium rock is that in many ways they are both trying to achieve similar things - the UK DJ wants to get as many people dancing as possible, the more the better. UK arena rock is similar - it's all about several thousand people in a big place singing along and sharing the emotional experience of the band's songs. Both are aiming for a mass communal experience of music, and so it makes sense that bands who are remarkably effective at doing that (Coldplay, Oasis, Radiohead) would be greatly admired by the DJ community.

It doesn't work that way in the USA at all, but that's mostly because huge stadium/arena concerts aren't met with the same kind of reaction that they do in the UK, I think.

The Natural Way

13:24 / 04.03.03

But that's just it: if you don't listen to much beardyguitar music, Coldplay MIGHT WELL NOT sound "pretty and sappy etc".... Replace those words with "powerful" and "moving"..blah. Coldplay go for that shiver-down-the-spine effect (as does a big, powerful Hollywood movie like "Schindlers List" or "Beautiful Mind") and, for loads of peeps (including meself for years and years), that's what constitutes *serious emotion* in music.

On Barbelith, people tend to think yr insulting the public at large if you make a claim like this. But, y'know, it's just that we're a bit obsessive, pro-active and involved over here - loads of people aren't. That's not insulting them - they're just into different things. I'm sure the scores of people I've met who only listen to Radio 1/Kiss etc., and only go to a club if it promises to play non-stop top-ten action are perfectly passionate about loads of shit.

As for DJ's - Phillips is a journo. But, yeah, the reasons he gave for digging Oasis are similar to the ones you suggest.

13:27 / 04.03.03

Not very, as I said, conversant with much U2/Coldplay. However, I meant early U2, who had a very unique style once upon a time - circa New Years Day. I didn't mean just because of Bono, pretty obviously I would have thought.

Doesn't mean they don't actually sound like U2, just means they haven't thus far sounded like U2 to me. But then, I'm about as interested in current U2 stuff as I am in Coldplay.

13:43 / 04.03.03

Just wondering what you would suggest the Coldplay fans listen too instead Runce? Do you think they would enjoy listening to your suggestions?

Matthew Fluxington

13:45 / 04.03.03

I'm just not understanding what's wrong with a band who makes music that someone, anyone thinks is 'powerful' and 'moving'. Isn't that part of the point of art, to get some kind of emotional reaction out of people? I would think that the fact that the music speaks to some people so strongly is enough. Why be elitist about it? You don't have to like it, but I can't see putting it down because it resonates with people. If some people aren't as "enlightened" about it and don't force some ironic distance between themselves and the music, why is it a problem? Sincere, achingly earnest, hardworking, populist people deserve their sincere, achingly earnest, hardworking, populist bands.

One of my least favorite music critics, Ann Powers, once wrote something about U2 that went something like this: "some people know a little bit about music, and they love U2. some other people know a little bit more about music, and hate them to the core of their being." I think this is your point of view about this, and it does make some sense, but it's just so disgustingly elitist.

14:09 / 04.03.03

I fucking hate U2. And I like Coldplay. They are not a great shake in the world of Rock'n'Roll, sure, but they're good. And they're better than U2. And their second album is better than the first one, where all the worst songs somehow got turned into singles (ugh. Yellow. It hurts, Mummy). The second one has grabbed me a lot more. And hey, I do like a relatively wide selection of music.

The Natural Way

17:33 / 04.03.03

Yes, Flux, the "sincere, hardworking people" do deserve Coldplay. Whoever they are. But seriously, that's cool. Peeps can like what they like, but I just find those sweet strings and that melancholic warbling just a leeeetle too sacharine and Forrest Gump for my tastes.

Bear: ummmm....where the fuck would you start? Ummm...the billion and one bands they're not listening to? But I'm not sure I understand why yr asking the question in the first place.....

19:15 / 04.03.03

I'm just not understanding what's wrong with a band who makes music that someone, anyone thinks is 'powerful' and 'moving'.

Follow that train of thought through and there's nothing wrong with any band or artist, ever. While there's something admirable in the all-inclusive nature of that attitude, it doesn't lend itself very well to discussion with any level of emotion.

Matthew Fluxington

19:41 / 04.03.03

Well, that's true. It's a lot like that time when Ethan Van Sciver wrote in the comics forum that in a way, he thinks that even awful comics are good comics because he loves comics.

I didn't necessarily mean my comment to come out so hippy-dippy, I was just questioning why you'd want to hold other people's positive experiences with the band against the band themselves. If you think they suck, I think that there's got to be a more substantial reason than "well, their fans think they're so intense and powerful", you know?

Jack The Bodiless

09:41 / 05.03.03

Because Runce likes to sneer at what he doesn't understand?

The Natural Way

11:52 / 05.03.03

God, it's SO hard to understand why other people like Coldplay, Jack. I wish I could get my head around it.

As for sneering: please. You've never sneered at something you didn't like? I'm just having a good time moaning and bitching and TBH it means fuck all in the morning.

Are Coldplay yr Dad?

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