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As our freedoms continue to dwindle, civil disobedience is more important than ever. Keep Big Brother from learning about what you do in the privacy of your own home...
BEATING THE PISS POLICE
Guaranteed to beat Big Brother and his Willy Watchers...
Feel free to distribute widely.
HOW TO BEAT A URINE TEST (Note- Blood tests are different)
Depending on the frequency you smoke, THC will stay in your system anywhere from three to thirty days. If you have a few weeks to prepare, follow these steps from the beginning. Or, if you have just three days to prepare, go ahead and start the regimen at the three day mark. Most importantly, exercise, eat right, and drink 8 glasses of water daily. The THC collects in your fat cells. Burning them puts the THC in your bloodstream and out your urine (for this reason, don't exercise the day before or the day of the test).
Ibuprofen can produce a false positive result on your test. So, on the form you fill out regarding what medicines you take, say Ibuprofen for back pain. Also put aspirin or something like that, just so they don’t think that you are trying outsmart them by naming a substance which can produce a false positive. If a trace of pot is in your system and appears on the test, they might look at the medicines you listed on the form and just think the Ibuprofen produced the positive and you'll get off the hook. Also, this gives you a good reason to retake the test if you fail.
Note- It IS POSSIBLE to overdose on water. Do not overdo it. Drink 8-10 glasses.
1 WEEK PRIOR
* Eat lots of fiber-rich foods. This moves the THC to your stools instead of blood stream.
* Eat lecithin. This breaks down your fat. THC is stored in fat. (DO NOT take lecithin within a few days of the test. (optional)
* Exercise exercise exercise....this will break down the fat where THC is stored.
3 DAYS PRIOR
* If you are a meat eater, eat lots of red meat. This increases creatin, which helps break down the fat and THC during exercise. Have lots of sex too. This also produces creatin.
* Keep eating lots of fiber-rich foods.
* No more lecithin
* Easy on the exercise, if any at all.
1 DAY PRIOR
* Start drinking a lot of water.
* Take two or three Vitamin B or B 12 pills. But spread them out over the day so you don’t have too much at once.
* No exercise. Eat lots of fatty foods. This will help put “new” fat on top of the fat that is storing the THC.
DAY OF THE TEST
* Pee as often as you like before hand. Drink lots of water. Eat plenty.
* Take two more vitamin B pills. Drinking so much water will cause you to have clear urine which raises suspicions. Vitamin B will give your piss a yellow tint.
* Take 325 milligrams of Aspirin in the morning. Like 3 or 4 tablets. This helps cover it up 60% of the time. You may also buy one of those “Cover up” drinks just to be on the safe side. They are about $20 a bottle and available at health food stores.
* Give midstream pee. Don’t start peeing into the cup right away. The
beginning and end of your pee contains the most toxins. If you give the
midstream, you are less likely to have much THC in it.
* If no one is looking, and your pee is relatively yellow, run some hot water as if washing your hands) and dribble just a bit into the cup.
TIPS: They often have the water turned off in the room so you can't use one of those powdered urine packages other people sell online. Also, do not take goldenseal, some tests actually screen for that now.
DO NOT OVERDOSE ON NIACIN!!!! This is dangerous and is an old wives tale. Also, feel free to tell your doctor that you are a smoker. Be open and honest. This will protect your health in the long run.
DO NOT take a lot of vitamins if you feel sick, swell up, or have any side effects. No piss test is worth risking your health over.
WARNING SHAMLESS PLUG FOLLOWS...
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