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The Good Sex Toys Thread...

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13:19 / 08.02.03

I thought it might be useful to have a thread on the board where people can review sex toys. Increasingly expensive and high tech vibrators, for instance, are appearing all the time, and I thought it might be cool to have a place where we can read impartial reviews. It doesn't just have to be vibrators, of course - dildos, whips, ball-gags, blindfolds, take your pick. In each case, the reviewer should offer a link to the item in question, and, as different people respond to different types of stimulation, ideally we should be looking for a review that doesn't just consist of the words 'what a bunch of crap'.

Also, using this thread to post links for particularly good online sex toy outlets might be a good thing.

I'll start the ball rolling with a recent purchase. I bought a Natural Contours vibrator, the Ultime, and despite the hype, I found it did absolutely nothing for me. I mean, I actually wrote to complain about it, and I hardly ever do that. Basically, the thing is supposed to offer simultaneous vaginal and clitoral stimulation. A pokey thing slides inside you until the other bit presses against your clit. The whole unit vibrates. Basically, the curvature did not fit my body, and the insertable portion of the unit was not long enough to have any real effect. I'm not a very vaginally-orientated type of person as far as self-stimulation goes, but still. All in all I was very disappointed, and felt that I had wasted over £35 (Jesus Christ - virtually my entire weekly income - kill me now) in purchasing this vibrator.

Favourite sex shops:
Expectations - fast delivery, not the best site in the world as far as actually working out what you're buying, but a good range.
and
LoveHoney Annoyingly heterosexual, but with a v. good range of mostly more vanilla stuff (but with some BDSM supplies) and swift delivery.

13:29 / 08.02.03

If this thread totally bombs, I'm going to be hugely embarrassed. I just want you all to know that.

13:37 / 08.02.03

I think its an excellent idea for a thread. I think I might buy some new stuff just so as to review it.

13:41 / 08.02.03

Bless you, Lurid.

15:05 / 08.02.03

The massaging shower head, one of the hand held ones obviously, is a godsend. I don't know specific brands, but they're great, no muss, no fuss.

The Apple-Picker

16:10 / 08.02.03

In the "Lacking Quality" category goes the My First Vibe kit. I got "shy pink." I picked it because it was one of the first two mechanical toys that I bought, and the marketing was very unintimidating for a first time buyer, even if it's branded Hustler.

It comes with a little tickler attachment thingy in the same-ish color as the vibrator, and it also comes with a little packet of lube. I've had no use for the little packet, and it sits in a drawer somewhere. I found that the little jelly attachment was more annoying than stimulating, so that's also sitting in a drawer somewhere. After all that, the dial on the bottom that determines vibe speed fell off. I guess it's true what they say: you get what you pay for. This guy cost me somewhere between $12 and $15 American. It's still usable as a dildo, which is fine, since the vibe-action was too much stimulation anyway.

On the same evening of that purchase, I also bought this freakin' adorable lipstick vibe! Mine's different looking, but it's the same brand. Some of the prices I've seen for this cute little thing are ridiculous, up to $40. I got mine for nearly half that. Anyway, it's all right. I've not used it in a long time, but I think it only has one speed--that speed is what I'd conservatively call "jackhammer." Okay, maybe not, but it was a lot. I don't have much to compare it to. I don't use it much anymore, and I admit that I initially bought it for its overthetop girliness. It still serves the purpose for which I bought it.

Here's a more detailed review of that same product.

Toys in Babeland is a fun sight to browse around.

16:18 / 08.02.03

I would review the Hitachi Magic Wand (one of those vibrators quaintly described as a massager) but due to being given dodgy voltage information, it blew up in my hand just as I was about to use it. So a full report from anyone who's actually had a go, please.

I have a plug in vibrator, called the Eroscillator 2. Basically it has three settings which go from 'wow that's pretty serious' to almost unbearably fast and has two, two-headed attachments. I wouldn't go for a battery powered one - I understand they're more portable, but they're too slow for me. The Eroscillator has been highly recommended by Dr Ruth Westheimer, which is a plus or a minus, depending on your point of view.

I'd also suggest that if people have made their own sex toys, then maybe they could write about that here, too? Gorgeous as a lot of fetish/sex toy gear is, it's bloody expensive.

16:35 / 08.02.03

Eroscillator website

16:39 / 08.02.03

Another site that has some really cool-looking stuff is Babes 'n' Horny - I've never bought anything from there 'cause it's all bloody expensive, but it's all so bloody stylish, too.

18:52 / 08.02.03

Me again. This just arrived today. Completely silent? Pah! It hums along fairly quietly til you grab it buy the shaft, as one would be wont to do while actually using it, at which point it starts to rattle and shake like a shoddy fairground ride. I get twitchy about volume issues. This one didn't even get a trial run. It's quietish for a vibrator, but it definitely does not live up to it's claims. Fortunately, it has a 30 day money back guarantee. Thank you, Dr. Stanway.

The Apple-Picker

20:02 / 08.02.03

Hahaha! Jimminy Christmas, SFD, that sounds utterly terrifying! What a close call.

Less searchable M0rd4nt

10:40 / 09.02.03

I've toyed (ahem) with the idea of making my own sex gadgets. The mot basic vibrators consist of nothing more than a battery and an electric motor in a container, with a variable resistor to control the amount of juice (ho, ho) that the motor gets.

An electic motor will set you back about fiver from Maplin's, the battery-holder would cost less than a quid, and a variable resistor costs pennies. As to the actual housing, I don't know... latex kits for making your owm candles aren't hard to come by. I'm sure that a shampoo bottle or some other household container could be pressed into service (oh, my sides).

10:51 / 09.02.03

You can also get latex kits for making your own dildos - so if you have a willing male or another vibe to take the mould from, you could probably knock something up (ahem, none of that, thankfully) from that.

I'd like to put a word in for the Pocket Rocket which now comes in iMac colours, of course. It's an innocent, massager-looking little beastie, with an extra plastic cover for the head, to offer a bit of variety. It kicks arse, it really does. You can also buy a Silent Rocket, though the only British outlets seem to be defunct.

Goodness Gracious Meme

12:00 / 09.02.03

In answer to the abstract, think it has!

And ohmygod, how much do I want The Lotus Suspension Chair?

And anything which brings Barbelith's coterie of loyal perverts out of the woodwork gets my backing, Chol.

Not so much home-made as cheap and cheerful, but I've had great success in pound shops with pet supplies. In my local emporium, a quid will get you a chain dog lead (that IIRC would be crap and quite painful for a *real* dog) which gives you a handle, a decent length of chain, and a chain collar with rings. A few of these hook together easily to make a really good harness.

And this is a great idea as it gives me a chance to moan about a harness bought from SH! (which I can't find a direct link to). Very cute, and veggie (big point for me), made of zebra-print fabric. Good fit, but has easy-release pegs, to make it easy to remove in a hurry, which tend to release all by themselves and fly across the room. So useless, basically, unless you want a harness which forces you to be ever, so , gentle.

Bloody expensive too. I may just hang it on the wall.

The Apple-Picker

12:01 / 09.02.03

Oh yeah! About making your own dildos, I read in a paper issue of Found Magazine about a man who found the mold for a dildo on a bridge when walking home one night. On closer inspection, he found some remnants of chocolate in the mold. Someone had made hirself a big chocolate dildo!

12:15 / 09.02.03

I don't like Sh! in general. However, I think I got my harness (the cheapest one they had) from them, and it's very much like rucksack strapping. It's functional, not pretty, but it works reasonably well, with a bit of annoying sagging with a heavy dildo. But the shop itself is too pink and dim (light-wise) and girly and I have an enormous distaste for sex-themed 'novelties'. Their latex dildos also peel, which is apparently normal, but deeply, deeply off-putting, condom or not. I've bought a few bits from Sh! and they aren't the friendliest sex shop ever either as far as mail-order goes, but they're probably quite good for the nervous girlies amongst you if you actually go into the shop. It's a taste issue, really. Expectations is nearby, and much more my sort of thing. And I prefer online shopping anyway.

12:30 / 09.02.03

Girly isn't a bad thing, I hasten to add. Just not to my taste, generally... good range in the shop though, as far as I recall...

I'm delighted at the way this thread is going actually, even if I have wittered on a bit too much myself.

14:43 / 09.02.03

Oh, if anyone knows where I can get a harness that's more like a weightlifter's belt than a damn thong, then please tell me about it.

I, too, was very disappointed the last time I went into Sh!. It felt more like a tourist shop than a sex shop. They did at one time sell floggers with dildos as handles - nice idea, but the particular model I saw didn't look that good. And I got a super dog leash - big, thick chain, solid clip, stiff handle that was great to whack arses with - from a pet shop, for just a few quid. DIY shops sell all sorts of stuff that can be adapted, too.

16:07 / 09.02.03

Great online sex-toy resource is

here

.

18:43 / 09.02.03

Incriminating myself a bit here I guess, but since there are a few duff products reviewed already, I've... ahem... heard good things about the vibrating duck available from:

Duck

OK, so you can't exactly penetrate with a duck (not a phrase I ever imagined myself typing), but it vibrates well, it's silent, it's waterproof and it floats in the bath. What more could you ask for?

19:44 / 09.02.03

The duckie in question won some sort of award for best sex toy recently, actually...

19:45 / 09.02.03

Not much experience with dildos and vibrators but could certainly discuss tit clamps in their hundred and one fiendish varieties, unless I'm sitting alone in the corner here, improvising with clothes pegs.

19:52 / 09.02.03

Like I said at the start - any and all varieties of sex toys are up for reviewing - from pinwheels to leg spreaders to tit-clamps to floggers to hello kittie vibrators...to cucumbers, clothes pegs, blah blah fishcakes. So review away, Xoc...

07:03 / 10.02.03

I've usually found Westward Bound's bondage gear to be pretty good quality. Not the cheapest around, but you gets what you pays for.

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

12:10 / 10.02.03

Hey you! Tell me about a good, cheap, quiet-ish, shaking penis vibrator thing! Are small one's good? Me? I always shout, and I assure it's not to compensate for any foolish embarassed feelings I have! oh no!

12:58 / 10.02.03

Huh?

13:00 / 10.02.03

Sorry - you're actually looking for a vibrator? Wasn't entirely clear about that. Are you looking specifically for a phallic one? Or fairly phallic in the same way a skyscraper is phallic? How cheap is cheap?

Suedey! SHOT FOR MEAT!

13:04 / 10.02.03

Nah, not specifically phallic. Just a decent, cheap one. And when I say cheap, I mean £5-10.

It's for a *friend*.

Goodness Gracious Meme

13:21 / 10.02.03

See, going out on a limb here to say I quite like Sh!.

It's incredibly girly, true, but I think there's a space for that.

Also, I much prefer to shop for sex toy stuff in person, as I'd rather get a good look at/play with stuff before I part with that much money, and they're very good for that. It's also the place I'd be most confortable taking a bloke into, and have seen great moments of 'girl tries out cuffs on male partner who gets stuck, to general hilarity of onlookers'...

It manages I think, very well to be very much a women's space, and one that is strong enough in this identity/priority to be able to allow men in *on its own terms*. And it's definitely broadening the reach/appeal of sex toys to women. Which is always a good thing...

Goodness Gracious Meme

13:23 / 10.02.03

But I do like the fact that Sh! and Expectations are so close together, as Expectations *is* a grand shop... Lovely staff and a better selection of stuff by far.

13:23 / 10.02.03

I really doubt you'll find a decent one for £5-£10...anyone know different? I'd google it. Might do a bit of research for you later if I get the chance.

13:26 / 10.02.03

I just really really really really hate sex-themed novelties. They make me want to kill. I hate being confronted with that shit if I'm shopping. And yup, the staff are cool in Expectations.

Goodness Gracious Meme

13:27 / 10.02.03

Not sure either, but my absolute favourite is actually one of the cheaper ones I have, around the tenner mark, i thik... will try and dig out a ref...

And alot depends on what the priority is... size? (lenght? width?) shape? strenght of vibration? texture?

But avoid, IMHO, those horrible ivory/'natural' coloured ones. Ick.

13:30 / 10.02.03

Sure Sh! are doing good work as far as widening the reach to first-timers and the nervous. But I have something approaching a semi-rational hate of the place. They've been less than civil with me when I've had problems with their products. I went in there once and felt incredibly uncomfortable, too. I'm not saying it's a bad place, and I know a lot of people love it. I just fucking hate it. It's unreasonable, and useless as regards this thread. But I just do.

Goodness Gracious Meme

13:31 / 10.02.03

I'm not a great fan of Chocolate boobies either (surprised huh?), but I tend to think that the more women you get into the shop, attracted by whatever product, the better, in making sex toy shopping more acceptable/having more women feel able to do it, which I think is a big way to getting women to take charge of their sexuality.

And I like the book section. Damn it and its Pat Califia goodies.

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