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Space shuttle jokes (may offend, obviously)

 
  

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Char Aina
16:00 / 04.02.03
I remember when the Hillsborough disaster happened, and I beat the crap of some kid at school for telling a joke about it, cos I knew someone who died there.

did it help to be able to find a focus for all the pent up anger and frustration, though? i would have taken a kicking for telling the joke thinking that it could make you feel better. and then taken you for a puint, depending on whether you had broken anything.


and no shuttle jokes to offer. sorry.
 
 
Mr Ed
16:42 / 04.02.03
Ah Barbelith, how I've missed your pseudo-wankery. Someone decides to start a post about sick jokes (and maybe the point of them)and what do we get? Some utterly irrevelant comparison of the pay difference between Astronauts to Binmen and people complaning about how the American governemnt spends it money.

So, in an effort to lighten the tone, release some pent up concerns and generally laugh at something very sad that I have no control over, here's some sick humour:

Q: Did you know that NASA has a new space drink?
A: Ocean Spray - It was their second choice because they couldn't
get 7-UP.

Q: When the next shuttle launches into space, what will the senior
controller say?
A: "72, 73, 74 BOOM! - Just kidding guys!"

Q: How many people will fit in a Florida Volkswagen?
A: Four in the seats and seven in the ashtray.

What's NASA stand for? Need Another Seven Astronauts

And has it occured to anyone that this disaster gives Bush an excuse to spend lots of money on a space programme, thus supporting the industrial complex, instead of spending lots of money on a war, thus supporting the industrial complex.

Oh fuck, I'm at it now.
 
 
Ganesh
16:49 / 04.02.03
Toksik, that's beautiful. Dude.

There is a certain pattern to these jokes, isn't there? There's even a pattern to our discussions of them: disaster happens; someone starts an 'oh my god look at this' thread in the Switchboard; after an 'appropriate' interval, someone else starts a 'sick jokes about X' thread in the Conversation; depending on the how well they've intuited the time-interval, we either join in or express outrage/distaste.

It's been shown that individuals whose personality traits tend toward cynicism/black humour generally weather large-scale disasters better than their contemporaries; they're less likely to suffer post-traumatic stress. It would seem to follow, therefore, that the appearance of 'sick jokes' shortly after a disaster represents an important societal coping mechanism, culture's way of healing itself, scabbing over a collective psychic wound.

But no, I've not heard any good space shuttle ones as yet.
 
 
Smoothly
17:13 / 04.02.03
But they did get 7 Up

There is the one about the last recorded message on the black box flight-recorder:
"Go on Captain, let her have a go at the controls, what's the worst that could happen?....."

Which, frankly, I think is fantastically funny. Cos you know, it's about the shuttle and also pokes gentle fun at how women can't drive.
 
 
gentleman loser
18:41 / 04.02.03
Bill Posters:Seriously, I had hoped this thread would be filled with sick jokes which function as a political tactic and fly in the face of hegemonic opposition from a near totalising mediascape. Instead, I get people infringing my fundamental human right to free expression in the name of American imperialism. The thread title was clear enough warning. If you don't like this thread, don't read it. If you don't like me, there's an ignore button.Then I hope you don't get too upset when I tell you to go fuck yourself with a chainsaw, jerk off.
 
 
grant
18:42 / 04.02.03
Yeah, the Challenger ones I remember (vaguely) were all about women drivers. Except the ashtray one.

don't you think it's about time that our space vehicles began to resemble penises again?

He has a point there. Space shuttles really don't look like cocks. Too much fin.


Nah, it’s all these delta shapes from here on out. Triangles. You know…

And has it occured to anyone that this disaster gives Bush an excuse to spend lots of money on a space programme, thus supporting the industrial complex, instead of spending lots of money on a war, thus supporting the industrial complex.

Or, maybe not… ISS After Columbia - Soyuz Option Politically Loaded Solution

The three-person Soyuz capsule is currently the only means of returning the space station’s crew to Earth absent shuttle flights. The Soyuz could also be used to send additional three-person replacement crews up to the space station in the months ahead.
But sending additional Soyuz to the station would require accelerating production. And accelerating production would cost money that the Russian government does not have.
The simple solution would be for NASA to help pay for the additional Soyuz. But U.S. law and the current political climate could make that harder than it would seem.
The Iran Non Proliferation Act of 1999 prohibits NASA from purchasing Russian space hardware until the U.S. President certifies to Congress that Russian aerospace organizations have not supplied missile-related technology to Iran within the past 12 months….

…But the analyst cautioned that the decision could be fraught with political implications for the White House.
After all, the analyst said, Iran was identified along with Iraq and North Korea by U.S. President George W. Bush in his State of the Union Address in 2001 as forming an “Axis of Evil” that threatens world peace. In that context, even the appearance of relaxing its posture toward Iran would be politically contentious to say the least.


Now that’s funny.
 
 
Bill Posters
20:03 / 04.02.03
It's not a function of capitalism or imperialism - it's a function of what normal, everyday people find interesting and newsworthy.

% Riiiight Todd, and pornography is nothing to do with capitalism or sexism, it's just what normal, everyday hetrosexual men find a turn on. After all, the personal has never been political, no, not ever. %

to confuse the unfortunate opportunistic jingoization of the tragedy with the tragedy itself is just plain lazy.

But is it really a "tragedy"? If so, why? You almost claim to have some kinda privilaged, epistemologically superior view of 'the thing-itself'. Is there a 'thing-itself'? Rilly? .... Even if there is, then it's not a "tragedy"... it's simply an example of seven people stupid enough to strap themselves to a giant firework and - well whaddya know - fry in the sky. "Tragedy" is a value-judgement, and such value judgements are precisely what I'm currently suggesting we reconsider.

This value-judgement is courtesy of an individual who's nick I've changed, to 'Warchild'; I won't post a direct link, but here's what ze thinx:

about the best thing i can tell you to describe how i'm feeling right now is that i haven't felt this since september 11th. [...] NASA has never been about anything practical. but throughout its existence, it has served as the most visible symbol of our technological might, intrepid spirit, and national pride. it is one of the few worthless government programs that no one minds seeing the billions pour into because everything that we like to believe is good about ourselves rides up with those brave young men and women in a burst of sound and fury, signifying everything. whenever something like this happens i always wonder how we could ever let a spectacle as glorious as the most routine night launch become commonplace--a thunderous maelstrom that must make the angels riding shotgun with our boys quake in their boots. part of america dies with every NASA tragedy, a part not told in the numbers or the dollars.

Warchild knows we'll pull through.


Let's hope so, eh kids?

Sorry Todd, I know you are sensitive to what you see as Anti-Americanism but we will have to agree to differ on this one.

As an aside, IIRC Constance Penley's book NASA/Trek has a lot about the sexist bent of the Challenger jokes, which is interesting.

Chol, would you care to elaborate on that? (Would this be the stuff about a woman 'driving' it?)

'Nesh says:

It would seem to follow, therefore, that the appearance of 'sick jokes' shortly after a disaster represents an important societal coping mechanism, culture's way of healing itself, scabbing over a collective psychic wound.

Generally yes indeed, but I found this article when searching and think that one of its points, i.e. that no one makes 'direct' 9.11 jokes (not even sick, twisted anti-Americans like me) is very interesting, psychosocially speaking, re: invariance (or not) in sick humourous japery.

Gentleman Loser:

Then I hope you don't get too upset when I tell you to go fuck yourself with a chainsaw, jerk off.

Thanks GL - nothing I could have posted could have better illustrated my point than that line.
 
 
Nietzsch E. Coyote
20:32 / 04.02.03
God noticed that one of his chosen people had come up to hang with him.
but before he got around to saying hi they tried to leave.
And god said, don't go you and your friends can stay a little LONGER.

best I could do.
 
 
sleazenation
20:48 / 04.02.03
I don't know- I do feel very uneasy about the way these astronauts have been elevated to heros for being on a space shuttle that disintegrated in the upper atmosphere.

It kind of reminds me of Casablanca when rick is talking about the two murdered german couriers "they got lucky, yesterday they were just two german couriers, today they are the honoured dead."
 
 
Linus Dunce
20:56 / 04.02.03
"Tragedy" is a value-judgement, and such value judgements are precisely what I'm currently suggesting we reconsider.

Yes, agreed, but you seem to be saying that only "Americans" could call seven deaths a tragedy. And, as much as you'd like it to be, that's just not, well, true. Do you see the problem?
 
 
William Sack
21:22 / 04.02.03
I'm with Neal Pollack on the penis-shaped rockets thing. We might then at least be able to get a few knob-gags out of the tragedies.
 
 
8===>Q: alyn
21:43 / 04.02.03
Hah hah hah! All these jokes are hilarious!
 
 
Char Aina
22:01 / 04.02.03
but dont you see? that is the joke!


don't you think it's about time that our space vehicles began to resemble penises again?


perhaps we are at a new stage of evolution, one where it has become time for our penises to assume a more space ship like shape, with all its fins and triangularity...that would buy us more new jokes than a cock shaped shuttle, i reckon.
 
 
Linus Dunce
22:21 / 04.02.03
Like this?

1930s Flash Gordon rocket ship
 
 
Mr Ed
23:51 / 04.02.03
Is a vehicle accident more important when it's an exotic vehicle? If I were to die crashing my amphibous swan shaped motorbike (which can also glide for short distances), would I also be a hero?
 
 
Ganesh
00:21 / 05.02.03
Bill: I agree, there weren't many 9/11 jokes - but there there were some (the 'Big Apple Crumble' one?) Disasters on a huuuuge scale presumably create equally huge wounds, and the usual societal antibodies/clotting factors take longer to kick in.
 
 
grant
15:49 / 05.02.03
"It's raining men," was (& is) a popular motif in 9/11 jokes around here.

Then again, a tabloid newsroom might not be representative of the general public.
 
 
Bill Posters
18:12 / 05.02.03
Ignatius: you seem to be saying that only "Americans" could call seven deaths a tragedy. And, as much as you'd like it to be, that's just not, well, true. Do you see the problem?

'Posters, we have a problem'...

Yes, actually I do see your problem; but I never meant to imply that British Imperialists (for example, or anyone like that) would not be equally biased.

Nesh - oh yeah, fair enough. (I had been going to suggest that 9.11 - rightly or wrongly - will be the psychic equivalent of one of those wounds which just doesn't heal, at least not in living memory but now I'm not so sure.)
 
 
Scrambled Password Bogus Email
18:52 / 05.02.03
Abu Hamza on Sky News last night told some crackin' one-liners about the whole thing.

Something to do with Allah, being an astronaut on the Sabbath and the nose cone landing in Dubya's home state...well, we were rolling in the isles.
 
  

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