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Captain Zoom is a brilliant fucking god because...

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Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?

09:34 / 22.03.02

[George Formby]

With his stethoscope he's toyin'
And he's got a shaven gro-in
His poetry is full of life,
He's got an imaginary wife.

And if you come over awful queer,
He may have stuck his penis in your ear
(frantic ukelele solo)
It's Captain Zoom,
He rocks the room,
And he can tell you lots of things about Doctor Doom,
Hurrah for Captain Zoom!
Hurrah for Captain Zoom!

Mother!

Turned out nice again!
[/George Formby]

[ 22-03-2002: Message edited by: The Haus that shot Liberty Valance ]

Lost in CyberSpace

10:47 / 22.03.02

You're a lot older than you look, aren't you?

Haus about we all give each other a big lovely huggle?

11:01 / 22.03.02

Diet, good genes and exercise....it's all diet, good genes and exercise.

I stole Askey's legs, you know.

11:16 / 22.03.02

I thought that was Douglas Bader.

Anyhoo, CZ is a great god because...

And lo, when Ozumshifee went high upon the mountain to steal the secret of fire from the gods, did he find Zoom mightily resplendent in Hawaiian god-trunks. A full four feet he hovered from the ground in the full-tulip position.

"Whence do you come? Zoom." he spake.
Ozumshifee was sore afreet, and did fall to his ankles to explain the nature of his quest.
"Is that all? Zoom." sayeth Zoom and passed him a suspicious looking smoking device.

When Ozumshifee did descend from the mountain, all who met him agreed that it was indeed good shit, and that Zoom was an all-round top cat.

Zoom, sayeth the lord.

14:25 / 22.03.02

I so fucking love you guys.

MC - come forth my acolytes to have your nether regions shorn once more, that you may be more like Zoom.

Vamp - you were drunk when you wrote that, weren't you?

monkey - still looking forward to it. Now I am a mantra and a god? Does it get much better?

radjose - I've even put some nice fluffy Archie's down for you to sleep on. Now none may say that Zoom is mean god. I'm just cranky sometimes.

Lentil - Thou dost threaten Zoom? Zoom the mighty, Zoom the magnificent! Thou dost make me speak as does Thor in poorly scripted comics? Thou shalt pay!!!

Haus - set it to music and send it to me. It shall be the hymn of the first Church of Zoom. And you shall lead the mass.

mr. y - Yes indeed it was. But, hey, what the fuck? That bastard took my stash too. Ungrateful mortals. Least I still got my comics.....

ZOOM!!!!

14:34 / 22.03.02

that was frightening, haus. I could see my little imaginary version of you, dancing around, very undignified! I have just realized what I can make the people in my head do.....mwah ha ha!

14:36 / 22.03.02

Actually, any Red Dwarf fans out there? I kind of saw this little music video like the Arnold Rimmer one from the second last season of RD.

Oh,urm, tremble, ye mortals. Zoom is ever-present!

OR something.

Zoom.

14:38 / 22.03.02

He's a nice fella cos he gave a safe refuge to Corporal Clegg after he lost his legs (or they got stolen, got confused now).
Keep that Crazy Ice Shining On, Cap!!!!

14:38 / 22.03.02

Zoom my good man I am always drunk, but you are still a God

19:08 / 22.03.02

zoom is an amazing god because...

1-nobody dies screaming anymore when he juggles hatchets

2-he'll sing "Bitchin' Camaro" with me

3-he inappropriately touches hitchhiking puppets

4-he puts the sin in sincere

5-hey, page 36 of TSR's Dieties & Demigods!

6-when I was nine he made it so I don't bleed anymore

Klaatu Barada Zooooooooooooom!!

[ 22-03-2002: Message edited by: gridley ]

19:39 / 22.03.02

gridley, that's every old school rpger's favourite page. That and the Egyptian mythos.

I have no idea why they didn't include me in that book.

Hang on. Here, just for the role-playing geeks out there:

Captain Zoom (god of many things)

One True God

Armor Class: -6
Move: 12"/24"
Hit Points: More than you
Damage/Attack: 1 - 100
Special Attacks: Come find out
Special Defenses: I haven't showered this eon
Magic Resistance: 90%
Size: M (6'2")
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Worshipper's Align: You tell me, worshippers
Symbol: Two mirrored "M"'s atop each other,
surrounded by a circle
Plane: I'd rather drive, thanks
Cleric/Druid: 10th level Druid
Fighter: Better than you
Magic-User/Illusionist: 15th level in each
Thief/Assassin: Watch out, Mike Harris
Monk/Bard: 25th level Bard
Psionic Ability: Not telling.

Zoom.

03:50 / 23.03.02

Zoom, I entered you in the contest.

[ 23-03-2002: Message edited by: Nostradumbass ]

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