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Last night I tried marijuana for the second time and had one of the most
positive experiences I have had on a drug.
I was sitting in a friend's apartment and I began to feel that I was at the edge of an infinite space.I felt that there was a vast space at my back, like a long hallway. It reminded me of the times I have been to buildings with classical architecture, tall domes and epic archways. It was a place where light that was thought moved through the edges of knowledge. I felt that there were symphonies in time. Lives spent like notes hanging in the air. I was just a measure in the music of time. Everything seemed right somehow. Columns like those built by the Greeks moved vertically and horizontally. They were threads in a grand tapestry, a thing that was not incomplete from not being finished. Every movement in the Vast was part of its nature. I was held within the focal point. I was the tip of a sword, or a lense that focuses the light. The Vast was at my back and all their love and light was within me. I was a door, academies of thought lay behind me and pushed me forward. It was a place where every mask was truer than the face behind it.
Overwhelmed by this sensation I stumbled to a long orange couch and balled my jacket up, to use as a pillow. I laid down and something moved, the Vast was no longer behind me, it came down on me like a wave. I was gently pushed towards memories of my childhood. I was shown my own face at four, shown how happy I had been, that I shed this from my heart and robbed myself of that wonder and simple belief. Step by step I saw how my life stripped me of what I truly cared about. I felt that love, love as only the simplest child can truly understand was what was missing.
The pot wore off, but the experience I felt was still there. I felt like I had been given what sunlight is to a plant, only to my emotions , my desires.
And one thing I'm sure of is this, the pot was just to get me to a certain state, it merely made me receptive, it wasn't a high, it was true. |
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