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Hello everyone,
My name is Jeffrey Williamson. I live in Galveston, TX, and I am a Secular Humanist and a flaming queen. (Actually I really am gay, but not really flaming. Well maybe a little. Well, okay, I'm a big Nancy-boy.)
I came over after Ganesh was so kind as to send a little link to this site. I met him over at the CBBS, and after he and another of my fellow posters were banned, I decided to leave as well. So, lacking a home, I have joined up here. I hope that we can all become fast friends and have great adventures together.
Just so we aren't complete strangers, I thought I would take a little time to tell everyone about myself. When I am done, I would be happy to answer any questions anyone might have and perhaps you could tell me a little about yourselves.
Here we go:
It was the 1970's, the decade of Acid Rock, Roller-Discos, and Erik Estrada starring in "CHiPs". In a quiet town just south of no where, a loveable little scamp was born--me. Although it wasn't obvious at the time, I would one day grow up to become a poet, a thinker, and have hair. I was a healthy baby I am told, a shining example of the American child--right down to my 2 blue eyes, 10 strong fingers, and 12 little toes...
Although my parents swear that there were no drugs in the house, I can't seem to remember anything prior to my 3rd birthday or so, but after that, (from what I can remember), things really took off. I began school in a couple of years, and from Kindergarten to Elementary school I had a pretty mild childhood--average in just about every way.
By my early teenage years, it was apparent that something was very different about this young lad that I was growing into. I began to be able to run much faster than other children my own age. While cleaning up after the football team one afternoon I kicked the ball clear up and out of the stadium. Shortly there after I out ran a train--leaping across the rails just in front of it after catching up to the engine car. I went home to find that my father had passed away from a heart attack.
It was the 1980's, and Reaganomics had taken its nasty toll. My mother had to sell me into white slavery to pay our debts, and I spent what felt like a lifetime in painful servitude. Finally, after being rescued by a few kindly UN aid workers, I was adopted by a large drunkard of a man and taken to France. My new mommy was a fair lady, and served as both the local seamstress and village whore. My new father, a part-time steel mill worker and full-time wine tester, took to beating me with a large cane when I would step out of line. I remember one time when I was about 15 and I asked my new mommy if I could have a left over scrap for dinner, and my father, fresh in from enjoying his evening snuff, slapped me to the floor for speaking out of turn, afterwards beating me relentlessly until I fell asleep in a writing puddle of my own agony and tears. Those were good times--happy times...
Upon reaching the age of manhood I left to find my lost roots in America. I, along with several other young vagabonds, boarded a ship headed for the States. As we sailed towards New York, I remember thinking how free I was. It was a great adventure! I fell in love for the first time in my young life, and trilled to it all. Then one cold night, out of the darkness came the ice. The ship struck it, and began to sink! Passengers were in a panic as there weren't enough lifeboats for everyone on board. I barely escaped with only my wits and a large stick that I used to beat and push the more wealthy, older passengers out of one lifeboat until finally I was alone and in silence, broken only by the occasional icey moan. Soon afterwards a rescue ship arrived.
That evening, while in New York, I found a room that was affordable after hours of searching. Lonely, and remebering my French adopted father's beatings and drunken rages, I slept shaking on the tile floor of the bathroom. It was then that the abductions began. At first, it was for only a little while one or two nights a week, but quickly it became an every night affair. What once was a simple eyeball poking and various orifice proding soom became forced breeding attempts as my alien captors, (which I refer to as the "Pinkies"), used me save their own civilization from extinction. After several failed attempts with many representatives of their own species, as well as several more failed attempts with various cows, they gave up and released me one final time in Galveston, Texas, where I now reside.
And that's pretty much it. Over the last few years I have grown a lot as an individual and begun an awesome journey of exploration into the Human condition. In my free time I debate politics, sculpt miniatures of famous buildings out of Spam, and work on my Broadway play, a musical biography of 1980's sitcom star ALF.
Thank you very much for your time and attention. |
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